Cast list

The new and improved cast listing

ME, JACKIE: 34 (until September 19, 2005 when I will celebrate the first anniversary of my 34th birthday), married, mother and step-mother, beer drinking, pot smoking and pill popping to keep my sanity. I�m currently not working outside the home and need these vices to keep from performing any bathtub drownings.

HUB: My husband. I am struggling not to strangle him, and every day it gets more difficult. I believe I am able to resist the urge on account of the fact that as much as I think of him as the biggest retard on the face of the planet, I do love the big bozo.

�MY KIDS�:

BEAVIS real name BRENDAN: My first born. 14 years old. Hyper, believes that he is more annoying than Andy Milonakis. I believe he may have been sent here to destroy me. His father/sperm donor is �Rod�. Beavis lives with us.

MINNIE real name CORINNE: My daughter. She�s 6. She�s beautiful and brilliant and a wonderfully good-natured child. Her bio-dad/sperm donor is �Dick�. Minnie lives with us.

MICKEY real name AIDAN: My baby boy. He�s 5. Spoiled rotten. His bio-dad/sperm donor is Dick. Mickey lives with us.

�HUB�S KIDS�:

BUTTHEAD real name BRENT: 16 years old. "Metal head". Mouthy. Overall, not such a bad kid. His mother is Shauna. He lives with us. (I named the two boys Beavis and Butthead due to their habit of going around giggling like those two idiots. Since my step-son�s role is more like the leader and my son is the hyperactive spastic flunky, I named them accordingly).

HILDA real name MIRANDA: 14 years old physically. Mentally, she�s about 10. Boy crazy. Has issues with lying and stealing. Her mother is Shauna, and she lives with her. We take her for the weekend once every month or so.

DAISY real name MARIAH: A very sweet, yet very hyper 7 year old girl who just wants to be loved and have fun. Her mother is Esther (aka The Douchebag) and she lives with her. Daisy is here every Wednesday and every other weekend. Except in the summer when it's every other week.

THE EX�s:

SHAUNA: Hub�s ex #1. Mother of Butthead and Hilda. Lying hosebag with rotten teeth. Not my favorite person due to the circumstances over which we sent Hilda back to live with her.

HELEN, aka ESTHER, formerly known as THE DOUCHEBAG: Hub�s ex #2. Mother of Daisy. I�ve had my differences with her in the past, but have since taken to being more peaceful and amicable with her due to my tendency to avoid tension and conflict.

DICK: Deadbeat (most of the time) bio-dad of Mickey and Minnie.

ROD: Bio-dad of Beavis. We had a brief relationship in college. He lives in the Midwest (we don�t) and hasn�t seen Beavis since he was 1. Pays child support but that�s where his involvement ends.

(Aren�t I clever? I gave both the daddies names used for the penis. Guess what they were good for?)

MY FAMILY:

MY DAD: I just call him �My dad�. Republican, watches NASCAR every weekend and listens to country music. He�s the best.

NED: My younger brother. I chose this name from �Ned the Wino� who was on either �Good Times� or �Sanford and Son�. Said brother is an obnoxious alcoholic and usually homeless or in jail, also has been known to do stints in rehab.

JAEGAN aka JaydenNed's son. His mother is Nina (see below)

HUB�S FAMILY (Not anywhere near a complete list):

MILLIE: Hub�s mom. She drives me nuts.

PHIL: Hub�s step-dad. Cool as shit.

BOBBY aka Preacher Brother Bill: Hub�s oldest bro. Lives abroad.

LILY: One of Hub�s cool sisters. The bitchy one.

TARA: Another of Hub�s cool sisters. She has problems out the ying-yang (and kids and grandkids too) but is really cool.

TINA: Another cool sister. The drunk one.

(I left out a big bunch of Hub�s sibs, mainly due to space, lack of creativity in thinking up names, and the fact that I won�t likely write about them ever, anyway).

FRIENDS:

SMOKEY: My best guy friend from back in the day.

ANDREA: 20-something chick I used to work with, Makayla and Colin's mom. Big pothead, totally cool. Lives with her fiancee (they're getting married 9/3/05), WILLY.

GINA: Another former co-worker. Married to JOE. She�s in her early 40�s, smokes pot, has 3 kids and 3 step-kids like me, only heres are older and she cracks my ass up.

ROBERT: An old friend of mine from way back, has adopted Hub into his circle as well. Married to my girlfriend RHONDA. Their son SHAWN is one of Beavis's best friends and has been since they were 3.

VINNY: One of Hub�s friends from high school. A big Italian guy.

SHELLY: Another former co-worker. The Harley enthusiast with lots of cute biker friends. Married to RONNIE. Since starting this diary, I've cut my contact with Shelly significantly. She is a problem alcoholic (not that there's anything wrong with that) who I consider to be toxic.

NINA:Ned's ex and my nephew Jaegan's mom. Her live-in boyfriend of 7 years is JAY. They will be moving in next door as of September 30, 2005. Nina's mom is PAT, even though she lives two towns away, if Nina's around, so is Pat.Stay tuned for funny, interesting and irritated stores about them.

Listening to:

Currently reading:

Thinking about: