Blended families are for the fucking birds
Oy. I think the internet is being a total vagina today. Or maybe just myspace. Maybe it�s this computer, who knows.
I weighed in last night, for the first time since I left for NY. Currently down 11 pounds, 7 more to meet goal weight again. Fuckin A right, dammit. I tried on my favorite jeans that weren�t fitting and I can now say, no more muffin tops! YES. Of course, now these jeans are so worn out, they need to be replaced. I don�t know if it can be done. How do you replace your favorite jeans?
I�m so damn excited about the weight loss. For a while there, I really worried that I was on the upswing and there was no stopping it. Fortunately, those of you on dland with the Weight Watchers and the weight loss (those of you who claim *I* was your inspiration) became my inspiration. Crazy how that works.
I�m way more focused on �low-glycemic� carbs, and making an effort to eat a majority of veggies and low fat protein (yummy hard boiled egg whites!), and I have cut sweets totally out. It�s easy, like a denial thing, if I don�t eat them at all, I can resist. But if I have so much as a bite of chocolate, I�m off the wagon.
Another big factor: I don�t have much control over my life right now, but I damn well can control what goes into my body. Maybe that�s kinda anorexic, but right now it�s working for me.
Anyway, onward and upward, I say.
Not sure that I ever really finished up what happened with The Hilda Situation. Remember she had asked to come live with us because her momma was doing her wrong? Yeah. And Hub went out of his way to come to her rescue.
I started to stress about the financial situation, knowing that we really couldn�t take on another kid when we�re having a hard enough time taking care of the ones we have here. And then Shauna was ready to get nasty�yadda yadda yadda.
Just before I left for NY (a trip Hilda would be making with us at that point), we found out that suddenly Shauna, who couldn�t be bothered to do anything for her before, suddenly started forking out cash. Hilda got her own phone line. Not her own cell, but her own landline. Hilda was suddenly able to get a dress for her 8th grade grad dance, which Shauna had initially denied. Suddenly, Hilda had everything she wanted out of her mom. (No matter how many times Beavis told her, this isn�t going to last, she would say, �But I think it will�. So na�ve, that girl.)
And, just as suddenly, Hilda�s frequent phone calls to her dad stopped. And then he found out about all the crap she was getting, and he was upset. He felt played, regardless of whether or not that�s what her original aim was. He felt like Hilda�s love needs to be bought, and we can�t cater to her like her mom.
He picked her up for her last weekend here, right before I left for NY. He gave her a piece of his mind and let her know, she wasn�t coming with us to NY for a free vacation. He let her know that he loves her, but he�s not playing games anymore. She can stay with her mother and when her mother has a problem with her needing his help, he�ll deny it. (Me too, I can�t wait till Hilda pulls some more shit and Shauna calls for help. I hope I get that call, because my response will be �Fuck off. Deal with it yourself. You�re supermom. Leave Hub out of it�).
So, of course, after that, we haven�t heard from Hilda at all. Except she did call once while I was away, before Hub left for NY. She called, didn�t even say hi to Hub, just asked for Butthead. And even that was a �what�s in it for Hilda� call.
Butthead goes up to his grandparents� camp (Shauna�s dad and step mom) several times a summer. Hilda, never. Until she found out at the last minute that some boy they know from Texas was going, and suddenly she wanted to go up for the 4th. Last minute, and she called everyone in the family to see if someone would take her. Butthead refused, he didn�t have room in his vehicle. Finally, she found an unsuspecting aunt to take her. Once there, she ignored the family and hung out with this kid exclusively.
Well. Yesterday she was on the phone with Beavis, and found out that his buddy Marc was coming up for a few days (because my favorite thing to do is have hungry teenagers over for days to clear out all our food). Immediately she wanted to talk to me to see if she could come up for the weekend. At first I was unaware of her motivation, but said no anyway because I can�t afford to feed Beavis, Marc and Hilda (who eats more than Marc and Beavis together, and that�s a friggin lot).
After I got off the phone, it hit me. I asked Beavis, did she know Marc would be here before she talked to me? Yup. Her only motivation to come here was to hang out with Marc. Who, btw, is no way interested in her. Not to see her dad at all.
That�s a little shitty, especially seeing as he feels used by her from the whole situation to begin with. He feels like a pawn.
Earlier today I talked to Courtney, and she had spoken to Hilda. Hilda�s all broken up that she can�t come here. She says that her dad hates her and doesn�t love her, and she thinks I hate her, too. WTF? I talk to her on myspace all the time and have been giving her some real hoochie clothes that she loves that I just can�t wear anymore, but I �hate� her. Okay.
If her mom�s not neglecting her, then we are. Ya know what? At this point, I don�t care. Everybody sees right through it. Even Courtney, who�s frickin� 14 years old, for god�s sake. If you can�t do whatever Hilda wants, then you are bad.
I have a feeling, she won�t be here all summer, and that�s fine. And when the call does come that Shauna is back to her old ways, well, Beavis will get that one and be more than happy to say �I told you so�.
At least he has Butthead to show him he hasn�t been that bad of a father. Butthead�s biggest flaw is he�s kinda dumb, and that�s most certainly genetic.
Blah blah blah. Just so you, I still think Hub is a dink. But sometimes happy pills make me a bit less enraged. I need an IV drip of this shit.
That�s it for now. The sun is finally coming out and I have got to get these damn kids outside so they can stop destroying my house.
Ciao.