In which we learn that the world is very small. Discuss.

Yes. The world keeps getting smaller and smaller. And it never ceases to fucking amaze the living shit out of me.

Here is a link to an entry from January of 2004, about �The One That Got Away� . (I know, I never link to old entries, do I? There are several that I do remember, believe it or not, and I know exactly where they are, too). It�s not too long of an entry, even though I wasn�t too much into paragraph breaks back then, so I apologize for the big clumpy paragraphs. I�m not too crazy about them myself. But anyway.

If you don�t want to read my little linky-poo (I take no offense, don�t worry about it), here is the gist of the story. Ten, eleven years ago, I worked for Toys R Us. Shut up, it�s the only job I could find at the time. I fell rather hard for one of the managers there. In that entry (written back in the day when I was all vague and discreet in my diary), I named him Patrick, but his real name is Brian. Brian was 35 and I was 24 and I had the mad crazy hots for him. He was so fucking sexy. And older. Tall, handsome, dark features, but his hair was all salt and pepper gray and it was HOT. He was smart and charming as all hell.

*sigh*

Plus he was an older man. Every time I hear the song �Don�t Stand So Close To Me� by The Police, I think of Brian. Until I found out he was interested in me, I felt like a school girl with a crush on her teacher.

I really thought I was in love with him, but now, in my old age, I just realize that it was probably just a wicked bad crush. Still. The crush I never forgot. We went out on a few dates, had some heavy, heavy make-out sessions, and then it ended. I was pretty heartbroken about it, too. In fact, thus began my Extreme Sex Drought of 1995-1997.

Then, back in January of 2004, I found out from a former co-worker at TRU, that he had married another former co-worker, Jen. I had worked with her, too, after Brian left the store for another one. And I remember telling her about Brian and how much I loved him. Der. Anyway, it really bothered me when I found out he�d gotten married even though it was like seven years later and I was all married and shit and like I stood a fucking chance in hell anyway, right?

(I�m editing now, and I just see that I used the term �der�. I never do. That was a TRU term that we all used for, well, stupid people. You deal with lots of stupid people working retail).

Yeah. Anyway. I still think of him once in a while to this day. Cuz I�m a retard, okay. Admit it, ladies (and guys), you have one of those, too, don�t you? Every time I have to go to TRU, I wonder if he�s been transferred to the Nashua store yet. Or his wifey-poo.

Oh. She might be all professional and shit, but I am very confident that I am the better looking one. Just so you know.

Anyway. I know, where the fuck am I going with this? How did these two people turn back up in my life again? You are not going to fucking believe this shit. I�m telling you, I cannot make this shit up no matter how hard I try.

On the first day of school this year, when I went to the PTO Continental breakfast, I saw Jen there walking in the hallway. I knew she�d had a kid with her first husband, but I didn�t know age or anything. But obviously, I knew they were living in Hudson, in the same school district as we do, which is basically the southern part of town.

There�s like 600 kids or so at Minnie�s school. I thought, what are the chances I�ll really bump into them? The world is small enough that we live in the same town now, even though Brian was from Manch and Jen was from some other town near there, like Goffstown or something. And it�s also small enough that we have kids that go to the
same school. That�s pretty fucking small.

Does it get smaller? Yes, indeedio.

Last night was �Curriculum Night� at Minnie�s school, aka �Open House�. Me, I�m not so crazy about these things. I hate when we have to go sit in the sweaty gymnasium and listen to blah blah blah. I didn�t have much intention on going at first until Minnie said she had all this stuff on her desk for me. Well, like I�m gonna blow that off, right? I checked the schedule and there was no sweaty gym involved, the teachers were doing presentations in their classrooms. Plus I really like Minnie�s teacher.

So. I went last night. I got to Minnie�s classroom a few minutes early and found Minnie�s little desk and took a seat. I was checking out the other parents when Jen walked in. And behind her, Brian.

What. The. Fuck.

Their kid is in Minnie�s class. Can it get any smaller? Next I�ll find out they live across the fucking street, I swear. (I did the obligatory web searches and evidently, their phone number is unlisted. I did find a few TRU related newspaper articles with him in it, but that�s all. How can I find out where they live? I mean, I�m just voraciously curious at this point. I am not a stalker, I swear!).

I didn�t know what to do. Honestly? What do you do? It�s been so long, would they both remember me? Plus, the teacher was giving her presentation, is it really time for catch-up? Oh yeah and there�s that avoidant, reclusive, socially retarded part of me as well.

Honestly, if I�d have had like even one beer in me, I�d have had some balls. But I hadn�t had any beer last night. So guess what I did?

I ignored them. I was seated such that I didn�t have to make eye contact or even look their way. I know, I�m a fucking nimrod. But really. I was so damn uncomfortable at first. I didn�t know what to do and I fucking hate playing, �So what have you been doing for the past ten years?�.

I had all these internal conversations with myself. �For God�s sakes, Jackie, it�s been ten friggin years. Get over it. You never even had sex with him. There was no ugliness. Stop it. Besides, even if you have gained a few pounds, you�re still thinner than you were when you dated him. Why didn�t I fix my hair and make-up a little before I left? Put your left hand under your chin, so if they do see you, the rings will be obvious. I can�t sit still. Try to figure out the kid�s name. Boy or girl? OMG they�re talking to everyone, I have to look that way, I can�t I can�t I can�t! I never even had sex with this guy WTF is my problem? Hello, I�m married now! So is he! Shit, I swear I can see him looking this way out of the corner of my eye! Don�t look don�t look don�t look��

On and on and on. Yes, I am still 12 fucking years old.

So. When teacher was done, I wrote Minnie a little note for her desk, signed up for a parent teacher conference, grabbed Minnie�s goodies from her desk and blew that taco stand. Completely avoided the entire situation altogether.

Oh. And he looks great. He�s 46 now. Still looks my age. He lost the glasses and beefed up a little (he was on the skinny side back then) and looks, well, again, fucking great. And seems to care enough about his step daughter to go to her open house. He doesn�t have kids of his own, but I remember he was a guy who really loved kids and spent a lot of time with his nieces and nephews.

But. You know. I�m a fool. I should have said something, or at least acknowledged them, but I�m a fool. Our kids could be going to school together for years. We live in this little rinky dink town. I�ll be bumping into them again, I�m sure. I guess I�ll have to play dumb next time. I�m pretty good at that.

I found out that their kid is a girl and her name is Jamie. So when I came home, I asked Minnie about her friends. Kelly�s mom had told me that Minnie and Kelly had exchanged phone numbers. I�d never heard of Kelly, so I asked her about that, and Minnie said that they hadn�t. However, Minnie�s real name is Corinne, and there�s another girl in her class named Coreen. Kelly�s mom must have mixed them up. But I digress.

I know that Minnie is always talking about Leah and Rachel. So I asked who else she�s friends with in school. �Julia and Jamie�.

Same town, same school, same class, and our kids are friends. It doesn�t get much smaller than that.

Anyway. Needless to say, I�ll be going to every single little event that goes on at Minnie�s school. And I�m chaperoning her field trip in the spring. Oh and I�m a volunteer there, which I volunteered before I knew they had a kid there, just so you know.

In completely unrelated news, the boys have used the term �That�s gay� so much that I find myself saying it. I hate that. And I even return to my old favorite high school phrase from 1986, �That�s wicked queer� (queer is pronounced �quee-ah� in full Boston/New England accent). This is not PC. I need to stop. We all know that I love the gays! My best friend is gay! (Well, not really, he�s black, but if I could, I would have a gay best friend, a gay daddy (EJ!), and of course, a gay son. Because I would be the best gay mom EVER).

Everyone, have a great weekend. I�m stuck with Hub up my ass all weekend. Pray I don�t kill him.

Adios!

Listening to: Some broad is talking on the radio about some bullshit.

Currently reading: "Guilty As Sin" Tami Hoag.

Thinking about: What do you think? I can't stop thinking about this. Reassure me that I'm not retarded? Unless I really am.