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Comments:
Chickpea - 2006-03-06 19:57:18
If you take Hub's advice and go away for a few days, come visit me!!!!!!
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Wanders - 2006-03-06 20:22:43
I think you summed it up best yourself earlier in your entry. She is a grown woman and should be in control of her own life AND her own child's. I highly doubt your van is yellow and stops at all rail road tracks. I tend to avoid confrontation also, so I know how hard it is, but I would luv to hear about you telling her how it is. You have your own family and yourself to worry about! Hang in there.
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biodtl - 2006-03-06 21:00:38
I would be honest, but make it like it wasn't really about you, but about the school. She tends to make you late, and most preschools, etc won't allow you in after a certain time. Plus, you watch other kids and you have to keep a tight schedule because of that.
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jennifer - 2006-03-06 21:30:12
What about the lady you call your "mom." Couldn't she have you as a guest for a few days? All of her children are your age, so you wouldn't have to worry about that. No, I don't think you're a bitch about the Nina drama. In fact, I think you handled it exactly how I would, I am VERY non-confrontational. Thank GOD Hub spared you. You DO have your plate entirely too full, this lady sounds like she has a serious deficiency in sympathy, no matter empathy. If I were you, I'd do my best not to let her song and dance affect me, because she simply is acting irrational. Also, I would continue avoiding her household. I mean, seriously, is the weed really that worth it?
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Jenn - 2006-03-06 22:42:23
My SIL is shitty people like Nina is shitty people. I have given up trying to please her, for the most part. Just tell Nina to figure it out, you take care of your kids and she can take care of hers. What's the worst she can do? Stop speaking to you? Oh no! ;)
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jess - 2006-03-07 00:28:31
Thank you for clarifying, lovely Jackie. I feel stupid now for my rant. Hee hee, but you love me anyway, right? Ok, and now for that white trash of a harlot, Nina...you are not responsible for her brat child and you are in no way supposed to feel guilty for denying her requests! Deny her, damnit, deny her! I am tired of people taking advantage of you. I may have to fly out there and kick some teeth in. Seriously, it really upsets me that this woman just takes and takes without giving. BITCH!!!!!! Ok, enough of my ranting...I love you. I am happy Mickey is enjoying school, that little handsome devil. xoxo - me
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Anneliese - 2006-03-07 01:43:11
Maybe you can tell Nina that you have been very busy with so much, and so you're sorry that you didn't tell her. If she brings up anything at all about your driving Josh, tell her that you just feel you have way too much responsibility right now, and that you can't take him. That's really all you need to say, and if she keeps pressuring you say the same thing again and again, but in different words so you don't seem rude, and she'll eventually give up.
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Jamie - 2006-03-07 06:27:44
Hey, this is our kid free weekend...*hint* I'm only maybe 2? hours away *hint* I'll buy you beer *HINT HINT*
Okay..seriously. Your not a bitch, Nina is. She's a leech on you and the lasst thing you need is a guilt trip from her. Are you her only damn friend? Seriously why is she cranking out kids when she can't do for them herself? I can understand occassional favors, who doesn't need them? But to expect you to be at her beck and taxi call? No I think not. Introduce me to her and I'll set her straight. Sorry for ranting on your space. Take the husbands advice. YOU NEED A BREAK! *hugs* girlie!
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freetobemee - 2006-03-07 08:27:59
I'm a big fraidy-cat of confrontation, too, but you need to have a little heart to heart with her or you will go b-a-n-a-n-a-s. If she gets snotta about it, then she's really not your friend and you really don't need to waste any more time and energy on a one-way friendship, right? This little talk you two have may be the deciding factor on whether or not you want to remain friends with her. If she gets pissed, say "see ya" if she says she understands and ends the subject, then she's a worthy enough friend to have stick around. Good Luck!
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Kelly2 - 2006-03-07 09:57:33
I'd just explain to her as slowly and calmly as possible that you have a HUGE life of your own to deal with and have so much on your mind, that the thought of her kids, and shit didn't even cross your mind at the time. Really. You're not responsible for her life, her actions, her decisions. I hate when people like that burden you with the weight of their fuckups and make you feel shit guilty for things that have nothing to do with you! I realize you're friends, but fuck it. A good friend would see you have your hands full and be a little more supportive and not so in your face about "me me me" shit. If the calm approach doesn't work, maybe you should go completely screwy on her and show her just how stressed out you are. Maybe then she wouldn't even want her kid in the car with you anyhow!
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x-plicity - 2006-03-07 10:23:39
You know, I used to be VERY non-confrontational. That was until Mr. Say-it-like-it-is came into my life. Be honest, be sincere, and fuck! Be selfish for once!!! *hugs* x
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Dawn (webmiztris) - 2006-03-07 15:20:58
yeah, I guess you pretty much do have to be honest with her. I'd tell her, "Look, I've been really stressed out lately and I have enough responsibility to deal with with my own kids. Sorry." I mean, she shouldn't be expecting you to haul her and her kids around anyway. At least not without her doing you favors in return, and I don't think she does; right?
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Kr!st!n - 2006-03-07 17:08:35
I think that you pretty much answered your own question, so to speak. Everything you said in this entry is exactly what I think most people would say to you.
For one, are you required to tell nina every aspect of your life? No. So she really has no reason to be so upset over you enrolling Mickey in school and not telling her. She's not your husband. She needs to be sat down and you need to calmly lay everything out on the table. If she gets uppity and pissed, who cares. If you keep calm and if she gets too out of hand, it's like talking to a brick wall, then you can calmly leave or hang up the phone. And then she'll feel like a douche. (Hopefully).
Someone needs to show her that she's an adult and as such, she needs to start acting like one. What would her life be like if you were not there to drive her everywhere? She probably wouldn't be able to function. I'm like you though. I'm an enabler. (Not by choice). I baby Erick and it's my fault he's too dependent on me now.
I kind of went on too long. I apologize. I am also the queen of avoiding confrontation so I would be making all the same decisions you've made. I hope you get that time to yourself eventually. And your loyal readers are always here to listen =) *hearts*
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