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Comments:
Prolifique - 2006-08-17 14:36:01
Well, only you can make that decision. But I can say that I sympathize with you, and to some extent, even empathize. No marriage woes here, but we're having a shitload of money trouble. Just know that I'm pulling for you.
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Cheri - 2006-08-17 17:17:41
Being a single mom and living for yourself & your kids and having NO ONE else to answer to is 9 trazilion times better than being in a bad relationship. Hands down, no doubt about it. It's hard at first - VERY HARD - but so, so well worth it.
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x-plicity - 2006-08-18 09:33:39
Sending lots of 'stay strong' vibes your way. *hugs* X
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Kelly - 2006-08-18 10:28:54
Do you think if you guys hadnt started having money problems, which from reading, just keep getting worse, that things would still be bad? Holy fuck Jacks, if I hit the lottery, I'm taking care of you. I can actually feel how you feel when reading this. It's all too familiar. That stress is fucking overwhelming. *hugs*
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PoeticaL - 2006-08-18 11:03:55
So much of what you describe about his behavior (leaving out information about conversations and arrangements he makes with other people, etc.) is the same as the behavior I lived with with my ex-husband. He started several business, all of which failed, during our marriage. He would tell me he handled something and I would call that place or person and find out that they had a conceivable conversation that he did not disclose to me, etc. He lied about paying the mortgage but in fact paid mortgages on two other houses that his business owned rather than the one that his wife and child lived in. He never told the �entire� truth. Just bits and pieces of the big picture.
This type of things is impossible to live with �forever�. I would advise you to put up with his b.s. until you have a concrete plan and can get yourself and your children not only safely out but soundly out. Meaning get a job, save some cash, play the game�and look for a suitable place to live, make arrangements to get things out of your home that matter. Think things through and do it right. And then and only after you have somewhere to go and important things have been removed with no alarming him to it until you are literally gone.
If he reacts poorly why put yourself and your kids through that?
Of course please note that I know this is all easier said than done when you�re emotionally spent and fed up. But you are right, you are currently on a no improvement train. He will never change. You might delude yourself from time to time that it�s getting better but then you�ll again have conversations with people and realize that he�s the same person.
A person does not have to be all bad to be wrong for you. Everyone has good points but if their bad points are stabbing your soul�then the good points cease to heal the wounds after awhile. Be tough girl�I know you are! And thanks for being happy for me�..regarding my recent news.
p.s. I don't think it's just money problems, I think it's "truth" problems.
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Dawn (webmiztris) - 2006-08-18 12:10:28
good for you, jackie. I've been reading your blog a long time and it sounds like the only way you're ever going to be happy and secure is to (as you put it, which I love) bid your husband fucking adieu. I hope he's not too crazy when you do leave though. Maybe you'll have to have an apartment secured and all of your stuff moved out before you even let him know that you're leaving. I know he has a bad temper and tends to throw shit around when he's pissed, but I hope he's not violent towards you too. good luck, jackie.
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jess - 2006-08-18 13:14:15
I am really happy for you that you are taking the steps to get your life and your kids' lives in order. You have been taking to the backburner with your wants and needs for too long, and now it is time to find out what those are and make them happen. I hate the idea of you and hub splitting up, but I understand that it's something that you need to do. This man has been disappointing you countless times over and over again financially with his ridiculous choices and decisions, and I think it's safe to say that even if he does get you out of this mess, he will find another one to get you all into. I heart you, and I am always here for you. You know that. xoxo - me
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jennifer - 2006-08-18 23:46:55
I'm impressed. You're such a strong woman. I think you can do it! I'm kind of in shock right now. I don't want to say the wrong thing. But yeah, I'm here for emotional support... that and I can drop another $40 into paypal, even though it doesn't go far! hah.
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Jamie - 2006-08-21 10:38:02
All I can say is that I'm here if you need me. You have my cell # and I'll give you my home if you want it. I can even call you on my dime. ((HUGS))
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