Beer, clonipins and the horny bitch

Here I am, Sunday afternoon, I've popped a clonipin, sipping on a Michelob Ultra and enjoying some quiet time.

I joined a few diaryrings this morning. Little by little, I just keep improving this diary more and more. New layout, added a guestbook, now diaryrings, there is no stopping me. Of course, if I could manage to update more than once a week that would be the greatest improvement of all. Heh. Don't see it happening on a regular basis.

I have been one crazy horny bitch this past week. Last weekend, Sunday, was the second day of my period and I was bleeding like a stuck pig. I never usually get horny when I have my period, especially with blood flow like that, but I was. Hub didn't care, we put a towel down and he dealt with it. He ate me out and everything. Now THAT'S the kind of man you marry! Of course, all week he reminded me that that night PROVES how much he loves me. Like I had no clue before.

The weather is improving and I'm looking better than ever, men are noticing me and I'm picking up on that, besides Hub is a horn-ball 24-7 anyway...I have been horny. That guy Mark came in one day last week and got my panties in a bunch, I called Hub later that afternoon (after many obsessive thoughts about sex) and informed him that I would like an "early night" and he took that to mean I wanted to go to bed early, so he said, "fine, you can go to sleep early, I'll take care of the kids" and I said, "I don't want to sleep " and he perked up: "Oh! You want to have sex! Okay! I'll have supper ready when you get home with the kids..." yada, yada, yada. Fortunately, that day my period had slowed down but was not quite done yet.

Of course, sometimes I just totally close my eyes and pretend that Hub is Mark, or Dave, depending on my mood, and then it just rocks. I just fuck the shit out of him when I'm imagining he's someone else.

I am a bad, bad girl. Oh well! I'm still faithful, that's what counts.

Clonipin + beer= :-) Happy me.

I'm finding that I'm quite a substance abuser. I'll totally admit to being a marijuana addict, even though for years I didn't believe in such a thing, I totally fit the profile. I love my clonipins, which aren't even prescribed to me, for crying out loud. Then there's the drinking thing, goodness knows how I love to suck down a beer or two on an empty stomach because the buzz is better. I usually manage to keep my composure enough in front of the kids, even though the big ones can figure out if I've had too much to drink (for Butthead, the dead giveaway is the tunes take over the house, I love to CRANK them when I've had a few, and I don't care who I disturb in the meantime. Oh, you're trying to watch tv? But, didn't you know, Stevie Wonder is a MUSICAL GENIUS!)

I've toyed with the idea of quitting smoking pot more than once. I'm getting a little old for it, I haven't got any brain cells left, and the munchies are killing me. Seriously. The weight loss factor is a big deal. I'd probably have lost the whole 100 lbs by now were it not for weed. Instead I'm at a plateau, I've been at an 84 lb weight loss for over a month and while that in itself is an incredible achievement, and I actually haven't GAINED, but dammit I'd like to lose the rest!

Kids, smoking pot might be fun when you're young, I know it was for me, but don't think it's not addictive. And it does affect your life. Look at me. Thirty something, three kids of my own (more due to alcohol than pot, though), low paying job, etc, etc. It's not all that bad, but if I could go back in time to, say, 1984 or so, I'd have gotten my shit together, done well in school and gone off to college for pre-med. I could have been a fucking doctor by now. Of course, back then, that was never presented to me as an option (and my father did make reference to the only scholarship I'd qualify for would be one for a term at the Youth Detention Center) so it's no wonder why I started smoking, drinking and having sex as an alternative to working on giving myself a good life.

Not that it all turned out bad. I think it's a decent life, just not as good as it could have been.

Well, beer #2 is kicking in and Butthead has returned from his darling mother's home. Before I ramble too much and get in trouble.

Bye!

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