Baby, write this down.

LOts to write about today. This could be a long entry. Or, it couldn't. And, yes, I see those double caps and I'm leaving them.

This weekend was very eventful. I spent Saturday afternoon cooking shit for Millie's shindig on Sunday. I just love to cook, especially when I can devote a whole afternoon to it. I made a humungous lasagna which totally rocked everybody's socks, but I'll get to Sunday later.

Saturday night, my girlfriend "Andrea", whose kids I take care of 3 afternoons a week, invited me to come party with a bunch of her friends, who I knew of, but really had never hung out with. She mentioned a bunch of alcohol and the boys and girls being separate for the beginning of the evening, so it sounded good. What she didn't tell me, on account of the fact that she was unawares, was that they'd hired a stripper for ANdrea. I was clued in within minutes of arriving and found the prospect to be quite interesting. I've never seen a stripper in real life before, so I was excited.

The guys stayed out in the garage while the girls waited for the stripper. Dude was supposed to show up at 9:00, but didn't get there till after 10:00. I wasn't very impressed at the fact that he was all of 5 feet 5 inches tall, if that. But he was built like a mack truck anyway. And Andrea isn't even 5 feet tall so she's not all height obsessive like myself. He humped all over her for a few minutes before he took his shirt off. I didn't see him from the front at that point, I just got a view of his back which was covered in acne. COVERED. Huge, bulbous, red, purple, mountainous pimples on every single centimeter of his back. Ick. Then he turned around and his front wasn't covered in acne, but he had two nipple rings! EW! I have such sensitive nipples that just seeing pierced nipples makes mine hurt. Dude starts humping on other chicks there and knowing that I was amongst the better looking women, the ones he was humping on, I know he's gonna come and hump on me, and I just couldn't handle that. So I snuck out and went into the garage with the boys.

They were all like, "hey! Why aren't you in there with the stripper?". And I was like, "Guys, he's nasty! I would rather see any of you guys strip than him". That kind of started a theme for the evening as four of the six guys that were there (Hub, ANdrea's fiancee, Andrea's cousin and the son of one of the women there) were targeted by the women to strip. None of them did, but I'll bet it enlarged their heads (both of them) a bit. The women kept telling me they'd like to see Hub strip, and I put heavy pressure on Andrea's cousin to get naked. That was alot of flirting, though, cuz if he wasn't with his forever live-in girlfriend and I wasn't married, there would have been some action between us.

We spent the rest of the evening trashing the stripper. It was my conclusion that the dude was on some heavy steriods, hence the acne back, but I could be wrong. Oh and we got damn tore up. Trashed.

Then, Andrea's cousin's woman, who I really liked, tells me: "You and your husband are such a hot couple, I would love to watch you two having sex". Holy crap, nobody's ever approached me like before. It was quite a compliment, even though I didn't take her up on it. I think I'm a little uptight sexually. I can't get into threesomes or stuff, even though it's fun to watch in porn or read about, I couldn't do it. I'd dry up or something. MAybe if I was completely trashed, which is the condition I've been in the few times I have gotten wild. It was still cool, and when I told Hub about it he loved it.

I don't think Hub realizes how good-looking he is. When we first showed up at the party, the girls thought he was the stripper. He couldn't get over that they wanted to see him naked. One of Butthead's friends, a 17 year old girl, has the mad hots for Hub, and he still don't get it.

I just love using improper English. My Scottish granny probably flips over in her grave everytime I do.

Anyway, Hub and I had a great time and ended up taking a cab home.

Sunday. Millie's shindig. Thought it was gonna be 8 of her kids there but turned out to be only four. Hub's two cool sisters and his brother from out of the country. I'll call him Bill. Where were the rest? Well, the two that we definitely knew weren't going to be there weren't there because they both live far out of state. One brother, the one who can be a drunken loser, is in rehab drying out. His brother and sis in law that are holy rollers supposedly had to work. On a Sunday. Right. His only full blooded sister used the excuse that her husband's uncle died, even though we belive she couldn't handle the day without drinking. And his last sibling, his sister, one I don't find so cool, was at a fair with her husband, who does tractor pull stuff. So it was four sibs, their families, and some aunts and uncles and cousins. Still a fairly large crowd.

Bill, the bro who lives in Central America, found God about a decade ago. He ministers to people down there. Now, I'm not crazy about holy rollers and the whole Christianity thing, but I'm incredibly tolerant. He didn't have any agenda except to share his love of Jesus and he wasn't pushy about it, although he did give a sermon.

I have to explain, I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic churches as a kid. They're very low key, very old fashioned. Nobody screams "AMEN!" and nobody speaks in tongues or anything like that. The first time I went to a Baptist church with one of my friends, I was freaked out. Although I know that my spirtual path is to follow Buddhism, if I were ever to pursue Christianity again, it would be in the Catholic church where I was baptized and raised. Not that that's gonna happen, since I've broken a whole bunch of their rules and would qualify for ex-communication.

Anyway, Bill is going to be paying evryone a home visit while he's here for the month. Which is cool, because he really does seem like a genuine person. I wonder, though, what he's going to think of our home, which is full of Buddhas and books about Buddhism. I know this is going to spark some interesting conversation and I'm going to prepare. I'm looking forward to it.

Enough for now. I'm going to tend to my very neglected home.

Peace be with you. And also with you.

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