OMG, You're so funny, Andrew. Short description. Sure.
No locked entry today. Change of plans. Not such a bad thing, but I�ll go into that later. Gotta do this morning�s funny first. It does get pretty personal down there after. Be forewarned.
I�m beginning to think that my darling wittle baby poopiehead Mickey is going to be gay. Not that there�s anything wrong with that. Not that I�d have a problem with it one bit. In fact, I would quite enjoy being the mother of a gay man. Or girl, but seeing as Minnie is already a little tramp (I was going to link to the entry back in October or November when I described how I found her being humped--fully clothed--by the boy next door, but I can�t find the damn thing), she�s probably going to be straight. Not that there�s anything wrong with that.
Anyway, Mickey just loves to play dolls, but not all the time. I don�t think it�s a big deal. Beavis played with dolls when he was little too. (Fucking major homophobe Dick believes that letting little boys play with dolls �turns� them gay. Pah-leeze). And he loves to play dress-ups with Minnie and Daisy too. He�s so pretty in a dress and high heels with the right jewelry ensemble. He was about 3 when he figured out he was in fact a boy. When I used to do Minnie and Daisy�s nails, he would get pissed that I wouldn�t do his, too.
But all this did not lead me to think he might be gay. (Although Hub and I have laughed about �what if?� Mickey is gay, and the effect that would have on Dick. He was such a homophobe that I couldn�t watch �Will & Grace� with him around without him throwing a shit fit. And how funny would that be, his gay son. Haha very funny motherfucker!). However, he is also very much all boy, likes to fight and play with trains and trucks and burp and fart and all that other boy shit, too.
No, what made me think he might be gay happened this morning, right after his bath. He usually gets his bath first, then Minnie. And he usually spends a few minutes running around his room saying �Naked-boy! Naked-boy!�, sometimes making up a song along with it. It�s quite humorous. Well, this morning he took it a step further, when I found him on the top bunk of his bed, naked and playing with two naked GI Joe dolls, singing, �We�re naked boys! We�re naked boys!�.
OMG, this is probably borderline kiddie porn, but I had to take a pic to share:
All I have to say is: Fucking kid. I�m still laughing at it, and it�s been about a half an hour or so. (Those GI Joes have no clothes. They have to borrow Ken�s, and he gets bitchy about it. Fucking Ken is such a metrosexual, and he doesn�t like that GI Joe gets his clothes all stained and shit. Anyway, one day I had the little baby boy that I babysit in his walker, and he was getting all fussy so I asked one of the kids to grab a toy for him to play with. The kid brought naked GI Joe. So I said to the baby, �Oh, look a naked man to play with! Having a naked man to play with always makes me happy!�)
Anyway. Last night. My original plan did not pan out, due to inclement weather. I was disappointed for about a minute or so. But, as is my style, I had a plan B. Andrea, Gina and I went to Weight Watchers (lost 3 lbs, btw, whoo hoo! Back down two pounds below my original goal weight and only 7 more to lose before I hit my tentative goal, which is 155, and if I do that then I�m going for 150) and then we went to Gina�s brother�s house. I had a couple of beers and we smoked some killer weed. And due to my cutting down so much, I got stoned out of my mind. Holy fucking retarded, Batman. We shot the shit and had a blast. It�s so fun when you have good friends that you can just sit and laugh your ass off with. Hub has been palling around with Andrea�s fiancee Willy a lot, and we�re pretty convinced they�d like to get into bed together. They get along way too good.
So, I was all baked out and started thinking about this whole cheating thing, and how I was glad that my original plans were called off. I�m all into that �everything happens for a reason� shite. And how I really shouldn�t. Lots of discussions here on d-land lately about cheating and is it wrong, etc. Of course it�s wrong. It�s way wrong. So�s smoking weed and popping pills and drinking to get drunk and swearing at the kids and a whole bunch of other shit that I do. And how I really should not. And how my life right now is not so bad, with the exception that my husband doesn�t fucking listen to me and how when we do argue, if I do try to express myself, it ends up so ugly (ie; those private entries I wrote right after New Years). And why would I want to do such a thing. And I made the decision last night that I won�t. I�ll be a good girl, and stay put for now. How I want to, really really really fucking want to be with someone else sexually but not emotionally. No emotional shit. I mean, I�m not looking to fall in love or leave my husband for another man. Definitely not that. No, when things are over with him, I�m going to be on my own for quite a while. I had three months between Dick and Hub, and that was not long enough. I�d been planning on years, but things did not turn out that way.
But anyway. I was thinking, I�m quite confused, and my conscience is bugging the shit out of me, and I shouldn�t cross that line right now. How I�ll keep on flirting away and that�s it, can�t cross the line.
But then I woke up this morning and thought differently. I think I�m like an egomaniac or narcisstic or something. Love that whole high that comes from the attention I get from guys. So fun. I just love flirting with a fun guy and then some. How alive it makes me feel. And I just really dig men. And how much easier it was to be faithful and married when I was 102 lbs heavier! I often thought that that might have been a subconscious reason for my weight gain, to keep me safe. I�m my own worst enemy, I�ve said it before. Way out of control �id�. Who fucking knows. But I�m still a somewhat kinda sorta honest woman for now. Still haven�t crossed that line. I saved myself from myself yet again. Kinda. I guess.
Yeah, I�ve said it before, I�m a mess.
I really should lock this one up, but I won�t. I�m feeling all kooky and crazy right now. I have a busy morning ahead, and have to avoid this computer as much as possible so that I can actually get SOMETHING fully accomplished around here. Plus I�ve got Bobby and Cindy. Frickin� dandy.
So, I�m out, yo.