Anxiety and The Douchebag
Wow. Nextel by and far has the most un-user friendly website ever. You�d think they�d want me to pay my bill online, as opposed to waiting for snail mail to bring in the payment. I�d like to pay my bill online, I really would, but I tried to register yesterday and had problems, emailed customer service and then when that problem was fixed, I tried to sign up again today and now there�s a new problem! Ya know what? Fuck it! Wait for my check. Not my only complaint with Nextel. But they got us by the balls with the chirpie chirp direct connect. They must know it too. Fuckers.
So, I met with the accountant yesterday and all my fears were laid to rest. Not so difficult to run a business, as far as maintaining records and shit. Especially with a handy dandy computer! Of course I will continue to freak out on occasion, but now I�m hip to what the deal is with the IRS shit, which was my main fear.
And why do I keep forgetting the bozos in town that run their own businesses? If shit for brains can do it, I can too. Dammit.
I do need to do something about my anxiety, though. It�s killing me. Teeth grinding has returned in full effect. Yesterday, the landlord was next door at the Brazilians� house. Our landlord is wicked cool. He loves us, but I forget that sometimes. So, anyway, he�s over at the neighbors house, and I can see his van, and I�ve got the full crew of kids out in the yard, seven in all. And all I could do was stress that he would come over and be like, �WTF?�. I�m telling ya, I was freaking out. Heart going off the meter, teeth grinding away and everything, but acting totally cool. On the outside, cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce, on the inside? FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. For like twenty minutes.
Then he left their house just as Hub was leaving our driveway, so they met down in the common part of the driveway and chatted for a few. Well, then I�m stressing over what the hell are they talking about!!! And then, I saw some turkey hawks circling overhead, and in my anxiety I did not forget to have my camera on me so that I could take pics, so I�m snapping pics of these birds, and the landlord is looking up the hill at me, probably because I look like a nut, taking pics of the sky (whatever, I like to take pics, man), and all I can think is that he�s pissed about all the kids.
Then he leaves, and Hub chirps up from the truck. They were talking about the screens to the house, that need to be re-done, and the outstanding plow bill they owe. (It�s really cool to have your landlord owe you money, just so you know). I asked if he mentioned the kids, and he didn�t. Not once. And he was probably looking up at me because ever since I lost weight all he does is compliment me and flirt with me, so maybe he was just checking me out. Which is fine, he�s a cute little Greek dude and a good flirt.
Yeah. So I spent 20 minutes spinning myself up for nothing. I need to chill. Oh yeah, and AND I was pretty lit at that time too, so the marijuana is not too too effective in reducing my anxiety. One of these days! One of these days I�m going to see a doctor and get my own script for some Cl0nipin. One of these days. I�m kinda busy right now.
Hub�s all bitching about The Douchebag again. I don�t know, I�ll be civil to the bitch, for Daisy�s sake, but I�m not gonna let her bother me. Fuck her. She got to keep Daisy and she got a whole $27 more a week in child support. Whoopee fuckin� doo. She�s still a jobless wonder on TANF. Yup! TANF, aka welfare, cash assistance, public assistance, you know. And her kids are 7 and 12 and in school full time. No reason she can�t go even get a part time job except for the fact that she�s a fat lazy c-u-next-Tuesday (Or like an old boss of mine used to say, �a real Tuesday person�). Definitely not jealous of her ability to keep current with her soaps.
Anyway, now her car died. And as much as I shouldn�t revel in other people�s misfortune, I do. So, she�s driving around in some neighbor�s piece of shit truck. I�m giggling. Because. You reap what you sow. Broken car, can�t fix it cuz you ain�t got the cash? Oh, and no job? Guess you won�t even be getting a car at one of the �Buy here, Pay here� places for $50 a week, either. Never mind getting a loan, unemployment issue aside. Her credit blows. Because even though Hub got all the debt in the divorce, that�s just in the court order. It doesn�t come off the credit report. Financial contracts supercede any court order, so it�s all there in black and white: DEADBEAT.
And her parents are having cash problems too, so they can�t be handing out the cash to her left and right like they always have, either. And the courts, as much as they suck royal ass when it comes to awarding child support, aren�t going to give her any more. I mean, at this point, don�t you think you�d GET A FUCKING JOB? I would have had one long ago. The resources for a poor single mom around here are incredible if you work. Child care assistance and rental assistance and so forth. Sit on your ass on TANF and you�re not even just barely scraping by. But, the summer is coming up, and The Douchebag always takes the summer off.
What a loser. So, why should I let her bother me? I don�t care. And while we�re busy working our business and (hopefully!) making a comfortable life for ourselves and our kids, Hub will be getting his paycheck, keeping his income where it is for years to come, and I will collect �the big paycheck�, so she won�t ever stand a chance of getting much more. I�m sorry, but $124 a week is more than enough child support for one kid. Not enough? How about that retard that knocked you up the first time? Go after him. Sorry, but Hub�s not financially responsible for that kid and as much as she�s tried (and she has), they will not make him pay for him.
And she doesn�t go to school anymore for her GED, and doesn�t even have it. Hello. Over a year and a half in school and she didn�t even get her GED! Big L on the forehead. Man, let me tell ya. If I were a single mom in her position again, hell yeah I�d be in school again. I�d go to nursing school. I�d get my Bachelor�s in fucking nursing, for crying out loud. Why the fuck not, if the resources are there? Especially with kids in school full time. But, that�s me.
Anyway, Hub�s all bent about the child support. Whatever, just pay the bitch. Which, she doesn�t get all of it anyway. Most of it goes to pay off her years on TANF. She might see $50 a month if that. And then, this neighbor guy who�s truck she�s driving, Hub�s all concerned about. It�s probably some old guy. But he wants to know who�s around his daughter after fucking Chester. So, he inquired and The Douchebag said, �It�s none of your business�, which it is. He has every right to know who�s around his daughter. She doesn�t get that. Which is one of the reasons we call her The Douchebag.
Anyway, so he�s all stressed and I say, Get over it. Fuck her. And besides, I�m done feeling bad for him as far as she goes. She was a cunt from the start of their relationship, and he was well aware that she was a total cunt when he knowingly knocked her lazy fat ass up. So, again, you reap what you sow. Now, you spend the rest of your life dealing with it. I won�t be getting all frazzled over her anymore. Fuck it. If Daisy gets molested again on The Douchebag�s watch, well, she�s the one who�ll have it on her conscience. I know it might sound callous, but there�s only so much we can do. I have $12,000 in legal bills to prove it.
Anyway, she called the other day to talk to me because Daisy said the word �sex� to her and blamed her knowledge of it on Minnie. Whatever, I played along. But she told me that when Daisy said it to her, she told her it was a �bad word� and to never say it again.
Oh, ho ho. Yes, be sure to close that line of communication. I�m sorry, but it�s my belief that taking that road will almost guarantee a pregnant teenager. Minnie knows how babies are made, and she knows that she can talk to me about that stuff. I don�t care if she�s �only� six, my friends were telling me about sex when I was six, so she�s old enough to know. Beavis was only four, and that�s because he was a smart little shit and wouldn�t stop asking questions about how my dear cousin got a baby in her belly. They say to only answer the questions they ask at that age, but he asked ALL the questions. Mickey doesn�t know yet, but he�s a different kid than Beavis was. He�ll know soon enough.
Anyway, sure we�ve got two teenagers putting Barbie�s and GI Joe�s into sexual positions, but big deal. That line of communication is open and that�s most important to me.
Also what�s important is if Daisy does get knocked up, and the chances are good, The Douchebag has to deal with it. Have fun. Because I will never, ever tell Daisy about the birds and the bees. Not going there. Geez, I told her the right names for her private parts and got shit for it. So whatever. She�s your kid (which you�ve made plenty clear to me), you deal with it. And don�t call me up when she�s 15 and knocked up and you need help, because you�re on your own, bitch!
Anyway. Enough for today.
Adios, amigos!