I would swallow my doubt turn it inside out find nothing but faith in nothing
(I did update, a private entry located here. Letter to Hub about the business. Tell me if you think I'm a bitch. Email dukkha-tanhaATdiarylandDOTcom for password if you don't have it).
Ah, Saturday. I needed one of these. Except I kind of ruined it this morning when I left the house bright and early to go pick up Beavis�s ADHD buddy Marc, who lives about 45 minutes away. The trip was a nightmare, the kids were in their worst shape ever. Beavis purposely did not take his meds this morning, nor did Marc (who is ten times more hyper than Beavis, if that�s possible), and the little ones were acting like complete and total ass, yelling and screaming and crying.It got to the point where I set the stereo to just be in the front and cranked the music. Works every time, you can barely hear them at all. And I was thinking, ya know, I could really use a partition in between the front seat and the rest of the van. Like in a taxi or a limo. One way mirror type stuff, too, so I can see back there but they can�t see up front. Soundproof, too. This would not only ensure some peace while driving, but also might enable a way to smoke weed during long road trips, a feat that I have been unable to perform, ever.
I can�t believe that I forgot to mention this yesterday in my second post. Of course, I�m forgetting a lot of crap lately with my mental state. But that�s neither here nor there. Imagine my delight when I was shopping yesterday, when I found these in the freezer section. Beavis had a shit fit about them, and I had to make a second trip to the store today to buy more. I should mention that the first batch I bought was cheeseburgers, which were much better than the hamburgers. I�m sure that the frozen, microwavable burgers are not the same as the real thing, but we settled just for the novelty. I almost bought the movie, too, they had it at St0p & Sh0p, but it was fucking $27.99 and that�s just a ridiculous price for a movie, if you ask me. Besides that I�ve got that whole broke thing going on.
Beavis and I have decided that we are going to find a White Castle somewhat near our route to New York (sorry, we�re going to Western NY, not NYC, two completely different places) and make a detour to one, even if it means going a few hours out of our way. Are we totally retarded or what? Smokey says to stay away from White Castle at night, that it�s a dangerous place. Anyway, I�ll have to look into that partition before July, because I can�t go eat the perfect food without having a good case of the munchies!
I�m feeling a little better about the business thing at the moment. Of course, I�m on beer #2, so I�m feeling good about everything right now. But, I didn�t mention how much I enjoyed doing payroll the other day. I was tickled shitless the whole time I was doing it. Of course, I only did checks for three emps for a total of 55 hours (first week), but I still enjoyed the shit out of it. Signing checks and shit, and AND I could do pay stubs too, I loved it. The good news is, a few customers have paid, so we�ll be able to make payroll next week, too. We may even be able to pay ourselves, which would be fabulous.
Joe wrote a great entry today, to be found right here . He definitely gives a much better account of our visit the other day than I did, plus the stuff about their friendship with Krissie is really touching. I implore you to go read it, because I said so. I can�t believe that I forgot to mention that they brought me gifts, which was like the best thing ever. Six little Buddhas, a beautiful Buddha necklace and a 20 pack of Mich Ultra, how thoughtful is that? (As a matter McFact, the beer I�m drinking right now is leftover from that 20 pack). I put pics of the visit up at Flickr . I so get a kick out of remembering Joe saying, �Look, there�s the punching bag�. Hee hee hee.
I�m still taking requests for pictures as mentioned in yesterday�s entry. Whatever you want to see, sans nakie pics. It�s too hard to take pictures of yourself naked. Besides that, you don�t want to see me naked. My boobs are okay, but that�s it. I think my butt�s okay too, now that I think of it. But that�s it. The rest is old and shot.
Oh my god, I almost forgot this! Butthead had his girlfriend over yesterday, with two of her/their friends. One of her best friends is actually Butthead�s ex-girlfriend, not that it matters, but I get a kick out of it. Anyway, they came over and ordered pizza. After pizza, when it was almost dark, they all decided they wanted to go for �a walk�.
Yah. A walk. Okay. I go on �walks� too, like when I�m away from home and have no where to smoke. Like, at my dad�s. I always take a walk up the mountain behind his house, and it�s pretty, but the fact that I can smoke weed on my walk alone is my main point for going. And these girls and Butthead are hardly nature lovers.
So I was all psyched up to check them out when they came back, because if I got the inclination that they were stoned, I was going to fuck with them, just enough to fuck them up but not enough to let them know for sure that I knew.
But the little fuckers came back in the house by the bulkhead. WTF? What says guilty more than sneaking in the bulkhead, which, incidentally, needs to be left unlocked from the cellar, so they remembered before their walk to leave it open. I was only able to see Butthead after, and he didn�t look high, but he was freshly sprayed with his Adidas cologne!!! Little potheads.
Holy shit, come out of a funk, suddenly have more than dreariness to report.
�Trainspotting� is one of my favoritest movies ever. I watched it last night and for a few this morning. The first time I saw it, in 1997, I�d rented it and watched it with the guy who broke my two year sex drought. He was the bouncer at the bar my friends and I hung out at every Thursday night, and I picked him up one Thursday night. He came over the next night and we watched the movie, but because I was into him, I didn�t pay much attention to the movie and it just didn�t make any sense to me. I thought it was such a stupid movie. We didn�t have sex that night either, he had to wait until the following Tuesday night for those that need to know. The next day, a Saturday, I was bored and popped it back in for shits and giggles. And I loved it.
I still do. I still fucking hate Begbie just as much as ever. What an asshole. I think what I hate most about him is that I know there are people like him out there. I knew some of them growing up. I love that Renton rips him off at the end. Fucker. He deserved it. I�m glad that Renton hooked Spud up at the end too, because I can�t help but love Spud. He was just a big goof. Ha! The poop scene! Too funny. �My pleasure is your leisure�. And Sick Boy was hot, just my type, cute and bad. Bad boy! And for eight years I�ve wondered, how did the baby die? Butthead asked me the other night. I mean, were they high for that long that the kid just died of neglect? Or did the kid get into the heroin? She was always crawling around on the floor when they were doing it.
I also love the Scottish aspect of it. My mom�s mom was 100% Scottish, born and raised in Glasgow. She was always telling me about Scotland, when I saw her that is. Which is not much when you live on two different continents. I wish I remembered more, because that�s a big part of my heritage. I can see how part of my personality could be from the Scots. I definitely have a flair for the obscenities, which I think the Scots might have invented, but I�m not sure. Just kidding.
Beavis just called. He and Marc have been gone for about 3 hours, causing trouble throughout the town. I ended the conversation with, �Don�t get arrested!�, and I was serious. They scare me, they are so obnoxious and hyper.
Thursday, in my hometown, a guy got arrested for allegedly running a kid (13 years old) down with his car, because he saw the kid steal one of his bikes. A cop supposedly watched the whole thing. The kid only had some cuts and scrapes, nothing serious. He got arrested too for stealing the bike, btw. I�m sorry, but I can�t help but laugh at it. Kids suck nowadays. Like big time. At the mall in town, on Friday and Saturday nights from like 6-9:30, kids under 16 can�t be in the mall without an adult. Which sucks, of course (God knows I spent my share of time wandering the mall as a kid), but these kids are such fucking bastards now, they ruined it! The mall is two floors, and the dumb shits will yell up and down to each other, swearing and shit. Well, duh, don�t you think the people with little kids are going to complain about that? I had a mouth like a fucking sailor starting at the age of 12 (I know, this shocks you), but I knew better than to drop the F bomb in front of adults, little kids, anyone other than my friends. (Of course, now I don�t, but that�s cuz I�m a grown up and don�t give a shit). I�m fortunate that the boys are as good as they are. Which isn�t all innocent, but they could be worse, and they�re not. They�re not even as bad as I was at the same age, so I can handle it.
Anyway. Maybe this is long enough? Don�t forget the picture requests!!!
Sayonara!