"You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That's pride FUCKIN' with you! You gotta fight through that shit!"

I just totally pigged out on chips and yummy bean dip. I don�t know what came over me. Mickey was eating bologna and was dipping it into the dip and said it was delicious.

Anway. So I got some more scoop on Ned. Nina chirped me on Friday just after I posted that it was the guys who live next door to her who beat him up. I knew her boyfriend wouldn�t have beaten him that bad.

Nina lives in a not so great neighborhood. Her, mom, �Gladys� lives almost directly across the street from her with her boyfriend, �Joe� and presently Dick too. Nina and her kids and boyfriend lived with Gladys until just a month or two ago. I guess Wednesday, when Ned and the guys had the day off due to rain, Ned was in the neighborhood and had gone over to see Gladys and Joe. When he left, he told them he was going to go to Nina�s to give her some money (no way). Next thing anyone knew, Ned was getting the shit kicked out of him by like three or four guys.

I saw Ned Saturday. He doesn�t remember anything (oh yeah I forgot to mention, yes, of course he was drinking). Nina speculated that what most likely happened was Ned walked into the wrong house. He hasn�t been to Nina�s new apartment, which is in a small two family. The house next door to it is a one family, but it�s close in size. To get into Nina�s apartment, you go in the front door and up the stairs. Nina thinks maybe Ned did that, only in the wrong house. And the people that live in the house next door to her are wicked bad news, she knows they deal drugs, probably heroin. You know, the kind of people you might not want to just pop in on when you�re drunk and obnoxious. Not that I know for sure, I�m just saying.

So, I brought Ned his check and took him to the bank to cash it for him (on account of the fact that the guys not only beat him up, but stole his wallet, which pretty much only contained his ID). Then I dropped him off at CVS so he could pick up a prescription. He looked awful. One of his eyes was all black and still a little swollen shut and that side of his face was all swollen up. Those fuckers beat the fuck out of him. I guess it was a bunch of Spanish and black guys. You know, fucking assholes that didn�t even know him. And Ned won�t press charges because he�s worried if he goes to jail again, he�ll end up in there with them and then his life would be hell.

Anyway, later Saturday, after lunch, I got a phone call. �Hey! Jackie! How are ya?�. I didn�t recognize the voice but that happens a lot lately with the business and all. �Good, and you?�, and then I realized it was Dick. Just calling me up out of the blue for the first time in over a year sounding all chipper and happy, like he�s on Prozac now or something.

He�d just seen Ned and was all pissed off that those guys beat him that bad. That�s where we started and went from there.

I can�t recount the conversation in full here due to the fact that this is already going to be a long entry, but he is interested in seeing the kids again, he�s been working at a new company for the past six months and has health and dental insurance for the kids (yes! Dental! Yes!!!), he thanked me for being such a great mom to the kids and he knows that I did what I had to do as far as he was concerned, yada yada yada.

I told him as far as seeing the kids, baby steps. He hasn�t seen them in three years and he can�t just think he�s going to pick them up and take off with them. Which he understands. Mickey won�t remember him at all, and while Minnie will, it�s going to be a shock for her. I�m not sure how she�ll take it. So, I think meeting him with them at the park is a good place to start and then go from there. I can�t say that the idea of him taking them for the weekends again (eventually) is not attractive to me. Not that it necessarily will happen, but you never know.

Hub Isn�t too happy, but he needs to get over it. I can�t deny Dick his kids if he�s going to make a good faith effort. Sure he�ll probably fuck it up, but their safety isn�t going to be jeopardized or anything. He�s been paying child support consistently for a year now, to boot. He does have joint legal custody of them and he has visitation rights, even if he doesn�t use them, he still easily can. So why don�t I just go along with him now, instead of being a douchebag and denying him, and do it the way I�d like, instead of having to send them off alone with him with a court order? Know what I mean? Besides that, when the kids grow up, they�re going to remember what a cool mom I was, and not some c-u-next-Tuesday who was a bitch just for the sheer reason of being a bitch (you know, like The Douchebag).

Besides that, Hub has been wanting to adopt the kids and I�ve known there�s no way in hell Dick is going to go along with that, for one thing, and for another, well, I haven�t been feeling that I�m going to be with Hub for the rest of my life or anything lately. And never mind the fact that an adoption would involve terminating Dick�s parental rights (yah right), having a guardian ad litem (ca-ching), and more fucking lawyer�s fees. I don�t know why Hub has this incessant need to support the legal system as much as he fucking possibly can. I just think, if it ain�t broke, don�t fix it.

(But he fucking said something to the kids about changing their last name to his and Minnie was asking me about this weekend which pissed me off royally because he doesn�t need to be telling the kids about shit like that, especially without talking to me about it first. Typical Hub, running his fucking mouth like an old lady).

(Oh yeah and Hub�s sis Lily was here this morning talking about Hub saying all the stuff he �needs� for the business and Lily kind of shut him up by saying, �What are you, the only person in the fucking world?� I just love that her and I feel the same way about him in some ways).

Yeah, so anyway, we have had mad ticks here the past week. Holy fuck. I found one crawling on the desk a couple of weeks ago after we�d been in the woods, one at the kitchen table on Friday morning, and one on Hilda yesterday and one on Minnie last night. Hub is going to look into having the yard sprayed. Minnie had a deer tick on her, which sucks! Little fucking bastard. I�ve never seen one before and they say they�re so small, and they are, but not impossible to find. That little fucker was dug into the back of her knee. Hopefully I got it out quickly enough, but I did mark the calendar to watch her for Lyme disease symptoms. I�ve got the little motherfucker in a Ziploc sandwich baggy right now.

Fucking country living.

So, yeah, we had Hilda this weekend. It wasn�t bad at all. And, um, somehow or another, I agreed to take her to NY with me this summer. Yeah, I need to quit drinking, I think. She kept asking about NY, how Hub�s not going, and who I was taking, and just hinting around and finally I said, �Hilda do you want to go?� and her face lit all up. Well, like I could say no. I suppose it won�t be that bad.

I just think it�s kind of ironic, I get a vacation from Hub (yey! Cuz he definitely is not going!) and of all his kids, I bring Hilda, the one I�m constantly saying I can�t stand.

Oh I feel like crappola. My brain hurts.

Sayonara!

Listening to: "Max and Ruby".

Currently reading: In between books. I finished "derailed" in 3 days. 4? Whatev, I flew thru it.

Thinking about: My aching head.