I�m telling you, I cannot make this shit up.

Although there is some big news in my life as of the past twenty four hours (re: Ned and Dick), that�ll have to wait until my next update. And I still have pic requests to get to, just so you know I haven�t forgotten. But as a special treat to us in the Dorks Club that update and read on the weekends, I am going to tell a story. I know y�all love my stories, and this one is about one of the most fucked up things that has ever happened to me via my children. It�s a long one, so grab a snack and a drink and get cozy.

August 1999. Beavis was 8 and Minnie was 6 months old. We lived in my hometown, in a not so great side of town (but not the worst) with Dick. Beavis had made some friends behind the block from us, including a young boy named Jon, who�s mom and dad I�d met and really liked, despite them being devout, born-again Christians (sorry, but we all know my feelings about that crowd, for the most part).

So, one August morning, Beavis wanted to ride his bike around the block to look for Jon, or another boy who lived across the street, Steven. At this point, I let him go, despite my reservations. He was to check in every half hour to keep my mind at ease.

I was sitting in the living room with Minnie, sharing a yogurt with her, when Beavis came flying into the house, pushing the door open and running to me. I remember he didn�t take off his shoes, and I was starting to reprimand him for it when he exclaimed:

�MOM! I JUST SAW SOMEONE GET SHOT!!!�.

Now, I knew we lived in a not so desirable neighborhood, but it was 11:15 in the morning, for crying out loud. I questioned him.

�I was riding my bike right by Jon�s, and I heard a big BOOM! And I looked and this guy fell to the ground, Mom! He fell and his glasses fell off and he got shot, Mom! He got shot! Feel my heart, Mom!�

I did, and it was pounding out of his chest. Yes, he saw something, but a shooting? My mind started to race. I remember thinking, maybe someone�s car backfired, maybe it caused someone else to have a heart attack�it was so unbelievable that ANYTHING else was believable. I headed for the front of the apartment to listen for sirens. No sooner was I at the front window, than I heard sirens. Lots and lots of them.

Okay, obviously, he saw something. So, I decided to check it out.

I said, �Okay, we�ll go see what�s going on�. But, I thought, at this time of the day, in this neighborhood, it had to be something to do with drugs. Fucking crackheads. So I told Beavis, �Whatever you do, DO NOT say anything to anyone about what you saw�.

I had to struggle to open Minnie�s stroller. I got it open, plopped her in and off we went. No sooner did we turn the corner than I knew, this was not good. Not good at all. It was maybe three, four minutes later, there was a crowd, a huge crowd of people and crime scene tape everywhere.

A woman standing on porch yelled, �You don�t want to go down there! Someone got shot!�

Beavis yelled, �I know, I saw it!�, therefore, sealing his fate.

As we got closer to the scene, I saw Jamie, Jon�s mother. She confirmed that there was a shooting. I asked her to watch Minnie so I could approach the scene.

If you�ve ever been at the scene of a crime like that, you know it�s surreal. It�s like entering another world. Cops, fire trucks, ambulances, people gawking�all within minutes. MINUTES!

I saw the man on the ground. I�ll never forget it. I looked away, thinking if I didn�t look, Beavis wouldn�t see, either. I approached the first cop I saw. I thought, if there was a murder, crack heads or not, my son saw what happened and it�s our duty to report it. It�s something I questioned many times, but in the end have not regretted doing.

�Excuse me�, you know I picked the hottest cop there, too, �He saw what happened�.

He let us over the yellow tape. I was thinking to myself, �Don�t look at the man on the ground, don�t look at the man on the ground�. Over and over. Beavis couldn�t take his eyes off him.

A detective came over to talk to us. Beavis told him what we saw. The detective said, �We�ll need you to go to the police station. Go to the front desk and tell them why you�re there, and they�ll direct you. Please don�t speak to anyone else about what he saw�.

We left the scene, went home, I got Beavis a quick bite to eat and off we went.

Again, more surrealism. We sat in a little lobby with all the other witnesses. Young girls. An old French-Canadian guy (full on accent too, �I live in this city twenty five years, now I think, it�s time to move� if you know the Quebecois accent, that�s it), a little boy, five years old and full of energy.

We sat and waited. Still not knowing, what happened? I was still of the opinion that it was a couple of stupid crackheads. We waited maybe an hour? Two hours? Minnie started to get fussy, she was crying. A cop came out and talked to the secretary, �Let the woman with the baby go next. We can�t have her in here crying like that�. Ah, another benefit of having small children.

The detective questioned myself and Beavis, then took his recorded statement. And then we left. Still with no fucking idea what happened, except that someone was shot. We left around two in the afternoon.

We went home to life as usual. Kind of.

Dick got home around 5:00 or so. I cried like a baby while I told him about the day. And, of course, being that he was a dick, he acted like a dick. Like, why the fuck did we get involved, it wasn�t our business, now the cops are going to be crawling all over the place, blah blah blah, yada yada yada. Dick.

When it came time for the 6 o�clock news on WMUR channel 9 out of Manch-Vegas, we found out what happened. It was not crackheads.

The man who got shot (M@rk) was a social worker. He worked for a children�s home out of my hometown, but was contracted by the state to do some DCYF work. The man who shot him (�allegedly�--D@niel) was the father of a boy who was under investigation by the state. He feared his son was going to be taken from him, and that was his excuse. He�d been arrested just over the city line within 10 minutes of the shooting. The little boy I�d seen at the police station? Dan�s kid, the center of the DCYF investigation. Definitely a candidate for Ritalin.

(One of the cops that arrested him has since had his own troubles, is no longer a cop, and has left the state. Scott @nderson was a neighbor and good friend of a cousin of mine, and his wife had an affair on him. They chose to live together despite getting divorced, for the children, and it ended up ugly. He got screwed, IMO, by his whore of a wife. Just another twist in this totally bizarre case).

The next day, Jon�s parent�s, Jamie and Carl, held a prayer vigil for Mark. We went, despite the rain. Yeah, I trash Christians left and right, but when I have a crisis, where do I turn? That darned Catholic upbringing. In the private entry, there is an article linked about the vigil.

The next week was full of questioning by another detective. Beavis visited the scene of the crime with him, they did another statement, and drew a chart of what he saw.

The police were so sensitive with Beavis. They recognized that he was a child, and treated him as such. Nothing was done without my or his consent.

After that, we didn�t hear anything for months.

Beavis did start acting out in the following months. In part due to the shooting, in part due to my and Dick�s turbulent relationship. More than once, he�d outburst with, �I�m going to shoot you!� or �I�m going to murder you!�. This was also pre-ADHD diagnosis, too.

Fast forward to June, 2000. By now, Dick was gone. I�d changed my phone number. I was pregnant with Mickey and working full time at my dream job . Honestly, 2000 was the craziest year of my life. If I�d have written a book about it and gotten published, I�d have had a best seller and would be rich. Seriously.

I came home from work one afternoon and there was a knock at the door. The police. No surprise, I was having big problems with Dick and the cops were around a lot. One was this big, Italian stallion named Frank. What a fucking babe. (Yeah, all kinds of trouble, and I�m checking out babes. I�ll never change).

Frank said, �We�ve been trying to get ahold of you. You�ve changed your number�. It was regarding the murder. The defendant was up for trial. We needed to meet with the prosecutors on the case.

We met with Sim0n Br0wn and Kelly @yotte a few days later. I went to school with Kelly�s younger sister, for god�s sake. That�s the kind of area I live in. We met them at the police station. When I arrived, I had Beavis and Minnie, who was now over a year old. This handsome guy, in a suit with salt and pepper hair and a models� face (don�t know if I mentioned it before, but a handsome man with salt and pepper or gray hair--ie; Richard Gere--is extremely sexy to me), was out front.

�Mrs. Beavis?� he asked, and I knew it was Simon. He introduced himself and led us upstairs.

They explained that Dan was up for trial, which I knew, of course. Not only from the detective, but I�m always current on my newspaper, and that�s a story I followed like crazy. They went over Beavis�s testimony, and served me (being the adult) a summons.

We met one more time, at the courthouse where the trial would be held. Simon and Kelly wanted Beavis to be familiar with the surroundings. They went over his testimony, put him on the stand and explained it all to him. They were incredible. I could tell, by their dealing with Beavis and Minnie, that neither had kids, but they were incredibly sensitive.

They didn�t coerce Beavis into testifying. In fact, I think if I�d objected, they�d have let him out of testifying. But Beavis was eager to tell his story. If anything had come out of this, he wanted to tell his story. Call it catharsis, that�s what it was.

But, it was no ordinary murder trial, if there is such a thing. No. Dan had a lot of time to spend in the law library. He didn�t like his public defenders. They weren�t doing enough for him. He fired them, and wanted to be his own lawyer. He was pissed at the judge for not allowing his defense to be that he feared losing his son, so therefore his shooting Mark was justified, so he decided to both represent himself, and boycott the trial.

Yeah, retard is the word that pops into my head.

The judge in the case, Bernard H@mpsey, wouldn�t heard of it. Boycott the trial if you must, but you will have lawyers there if not to represent you, then to consult the case for you. Bonehead. He was in the courthouse for his trial, but downstairs in the holding cell.

We were summoned to be at court at 12:00 in the afternoon of the first day of trial. We met Jeannie, the victim/witness advocate. She introduced us to Lynette, Mark�s wife and the mother of his little girl. I teared up upon meeting her. What a sweet, wonderful woman. I apologized for her loss, inquired about their daughter, and she thanked Beavis for being brave enough to testify. I cried like a fucking baby. I was 8 months pregnant at the time.

We waited as others testified. Around 4:00 pm, the judge called it until the next day. We�d have to come back the following morning. Beavis was heartbroken and cried his eyes out. Simon approached Beavis, absolutely beside himself, and explained that the judge is the boss, and when he says it�s done for the day, that�s it. I don�t know who I felt worse for, Beavis or Simon. Again, they asked if he could still testify. I said he wanted to, he needed to.

The paper the next morning reported that the old French dude had seen the shooting while driving by, and stopped his car to try to save Mark. He was right there, at the same moment Beavis was riding his bike by. Incredible, how one split second can bring people together.

The next day, first thing, Beavis was called in. Jeannie was with us. She showed Beavis to the front, and me to a seat right next to where she sat. The second I saw Beavis up there, in the witness seat, I cried like a baby. MY little boy! He must be so scared, this courtroom full of people (mostly Mark�s friends and family).

He told his story. He did a great job. Fucking a, I was so proud of him. The judge was so spectacularly awesome with him, that to this day, whenever I see anything regarding him, I remember how well he handled Beavis. You can never tell me anything bad about Judge H@mpsey. He did right by my boy.

He left the stand and we left the courtroom. Jeannie followed, as did Lynette. Lynette talked to Beavis, thanked him for testifying, told him she�d never forget him and gave him a big hug. I bawled my fucking eyes out. Jeannie, Lynette and I hugged and cried and it was out of a fucking chick flick. Beautiful.

I didn�t mention all the reporters there. The case was very well known, so the local papers and tv stations were there. One reporter, from WMUR, I recognized, and he approached me after everything. �I just wanted to tell you, he did an excellent job. You should be proud�. Make me cry again, dammit!!!

An hour or so later, the trial was haulted, pending a review by the state Supreme Court, investigating whether or not the trial was legal, due to Dan�s objection to representation and boycotting the trail.

When we got home, Beavis asked if he�d ever see Kelly and Simon again. When I said, �Probably not� (knowing about the Supreme Court intervention and the likelihood of a re-trial), he cried his eyes out. He�d come to think of them as friends. Poor little guy.

We had dinner at my grandmother�s that night. On the 6 o�clock news, they recounted the day of the trial. Who did they put on? Beavis, with his face blurred out, of course. He was tickled shitless. He�d told his story and done his duty as a citizen.

The trial started again two days later, sans public defenders. Dan was found guilty of first-degree murder.

End of story? Hardly.

But I do have to say, it was extremely beneficial for Beavis to testify. A lot of people have gotten pissed at the state having such a young boy testify, like they forced him to or something, but I think it�s the best thing he could have done, as does he. To this day. He saw a terrible thing, and did the right thing. He helped put a murderer in jail.

Of course, Dan appealed the verdict. It took four years, but his conviction was overturned. In that time, Dan was divorced from his wife, Lynette moved from NH to Colorado, and I married Hub and moved here. Oh yeah and I had Mickey, three weeks after the first trial.

Fast forward to last June, when I got the call I�d been waiting for. The police contacted my dad looking for me. My dad, having been duped by the city cops before regarding Ned, was not giving up my location to the cops not knowing why they needed to talk to me. Poor Dad, forgetting I�ve never been arrested for anything, and all worried about me. He called and told me they were looking for me, in my maiden name. I knew, having kept up on my paper, that it was regarding the Mark and Dan trial. I called the police right after Dad called me.

The detective was not pleased. I said, look, you guys lied to him before regarding my brother, and even though I�ve had no trouble with you, he doesn�t trust you. Sorry. Anyway, I know what it�s about, where do I meet you? I met him the b=next day and got my summons. Dan�s re-trial. I�d been telling Beavis since the conviction was overturned in Sept or December of the previous year what was going to happen.

Simon called us for another meeting. Even though Kelly was pregnant and since promoted to Attorney General of the state, she wanted to prosecute the case again. Simon too had been promoted and wanted to try the case again.

We met Simon one afternoon in June. Still as fucking hot as four years before. He�d re-introduced himself, and I said, �Trust me, we haven�t forgotten you�. Simon told me about how he�d just had a daughter, and asked about Mickey. From thereon, I referred to him as �Simon Br0wn, the dashing prosecutor�. Divorce my husband for you? Even if you�re a paranoid schizophrenic with no dick. No problem.

He fucking laughed his ass off as I referred to Dan as a retard who just wanted to �stick it to the man�. I wished him luck. Again, he made sure that testifying was something that Beavis was comfortable with. Especially knowing that this time, Dan would be there. And Beavis didn�t have a doubt. Let�s do it.

This time, he went on as scheduled. Jeannie was replaced by a lovely young woman named Linda. I grilled Linda as to the qualifications of her job. Only because, I wanted it. We also bought Lynette, who�d returned from Colorado for the trial, a huge bouquet of flowers. I felt so bad for her, having to go through it all again five years later.

Testimony went as planned, a little less emotional this time. Same people there, same old French guy.

And again, Dan tried to fuck with the trial. I posted all kinds of linkage, in a private entry located here . Sorry, too many details, especially my name in one. I�m sure a simple google search would suffice the details.

And again, Dan was found guilty of first degree murder. At the second trial, his only hope was to be found guilty of second degree murder, sans pre-meditation, hoping he�d be given a sentence less than life without parole). We have the death penalty here in NH, via hanging, but we haven�t used it over 100 years or so, maybe as late as the 1920�s, but I�m not sure. Being a northern blue state (okay, so barely) and all. He was found guilty of murder in the first degree, sentenced to life in prison without parole, after the jury deliberated for two days. If that.

Not even two weeks after the trial, we were driving west to our vacation spot in western NY. Three hours into Mass, at a rest stop on the Mass turnpike (aka Rt. 90), we stopped fro dinner. We had all six kids with us. I was passing out McD�s meals to the kids, when someone walked up to me and said, �Hi, Jackie�.

It was Sim0n Br0wn, dressed in a tee shirt and shorts. �Hi, it�s Sim0n Br0wn�.

Like I could forget. �Hey! Congrats on your conviction!�. He told Beavis he did an excellent job testifying, and they�d gotten their conviction. He was headed to upstate NY to spend the Fourth of July weekend with friends in the Catskills. I introduced him to Minnie, who he remembered from the first trial, and Mickey, who he remembered from my belly.

That meeting, Beavis and I agree, was more than just coin-ki-dink.

Ack. Okay, that only took four hours to write. Four hours and six pages. Now Hub and his darling daughter Hilda are here. Whoopee-fucking-doo. If I forgot anything, I�ll put it in the next update.

I�m telling you, I cannot make this shit up.

Bah-bye! =)

Listening to: Everclear. Whatever it is. I love them. I'm Alex's next woman.

Currently reading: "Derailed" Something Seigel. Fucking awesome book.

Thinking about: Fucking Dick called me. All cool and shit. And all I can think about. Is. His. Dick.