"So she's kinda fucking cute. Let her touch your penis"
I have been one motivated chick this morning. I have no idea where it came from. I�ve done a little housework (like sweeping the fucking kitchen floor three times and using the swiffer wet jet cuz some bonehead got sticky shit on the floor, and walking on a sticky floor drives me insane), re-potted two houseplants (I hope to god I don�t kill them), and, and I did some yard work.
I know, me, doing yard work! Who-da-thunk-it? But, I want shit done and waiting for Hub to do it is a joke. While I was out last night, I bought this wildflower seed mix. We have a bed in the back of the house that the previous neighbors used for a garden, that we�ve only used for growing weeds. We�re really good at that. They had an herb garden there, too, and the oregano has spread like crazy. Anyone want some organic oregano? I got tons. I�ve got three different kinds of mint (orange, peppermint and spearmint), rosemary and something else that I don�t know what it is, but it�s definitely an herb.
When I discovered the herbs, I didn�t know what they were, but I was working with Andrea�s mom Diane at the credit union and she grows her own. So, one Saturday, we were working together and she�d told me to pick some and bring them in, she�d look at them. So I put them in a plastic Ziploc and brought them to work. The President of the credit union (old French memere in her early 60�s) opened the door for me and was looking at the bag. I said, �I brought a bag of weed for me and Diane, and if I�d known you were going to be here, I�d have brought some for you too�. She not in a good mood and said, �This morning I could really use it, too�.
But I digress.
For the past two years, I�ve wanted to plant a shitload of wildflowers there, and this year I�m doing it. So I had to go up there and clean it out, pull weeds and spray weed kill. That�s a lot of fucking work, man. I got a blister! Anyway, I�m gonna let that sit until tomorrow and then I�m putting down the seeds. Then the next hurdle will be keeping that kid next door out of it while it grows. But, this will be the perfect opportunity to talk to his daddy, ya know.
I know, I need to stop with the adulterous thoughts. No I don�t. Shut up. I�m just thinking about it. A lot. But anyway.
I did speak to Hub briefly yesterday about how I feel. And he listened. Wonders never cease.
Yesterday was Wednesday, which is my night, as we all know. Weight Watchers starts at 6:45, so to be there remotely on time, I need to leave this house by 6:30 the latest. I asked him yesterday afternoon, if he could possibly be to the house by 6:00, because I needed to refill Beavis�s medicine at the pharmacy (it is such a pain in my ass that the fucking Concerta is a controlled substance and can�t just be called in). I could go to Brooks, drop it off, wait for it, and then go to the meeting and even be on time.
Anyway, he called at 5:00, just as I was leaving to pick up Daisy (my job now, I�m back to seeing my pal The Douchebag two to three times a week again), and said he was taking Zack home and he�d be home. From Litchfield to Nashua and back to Hudson should take no more than 30, 45 minutes tops in rush hour traffic, so he could�ve been home by 5:30-5:45. I also asked him to pick up some beer cuz I wanted to have one before I left, and I don�t like stopping at the store for beer when I�ve got all the kids, and at that point I still had Andrea�s two with me, plus Minnie, Mickey and Daisy.
What happens, it gets to be 6:00, then 6:10, then 6:15 and no Hub. WTF? I called him at 6:15, he says, �I�m sorry, I had to go see Joe, I�ll be home shortly�.
WTF? How important is Joe, that he hasn�t spoken to for a few weeks? When I asked him for a simple favor? And he goes to see Joe when he knows I want to leave? But, at that moment, Joe was much more important than me. That pissed me off. Besides, that, he�s constantly doing that to me. I can�t rely on him to help me, especially if there�s a time factor involved. I was so pissed, but I did take that pin yesterday, so I wasn�t all freaking out.
When he finally rolled in at 6 fucking 30, I met him on the porch outside. He was carrying this in his hands (sans vase):
You know, a little something to shut me up. Didn�t work, I ignored them completely. Fucking flowers. Probably bought them at fucking Cumbie�s for all I know. Whatever, anyway, this is what I calmly said to him:
�If you are really concerned about losing your marriage, then I am willing right now to tell you exactly how I feel right now, but you have to listen. I don�t want to hear �I�m sorry�, I don�t want to hear your excuses and if you start talking to me before I�m done then I will just leave. It really upsets me that I ask you for a simple favor and yet again, I get let down. I can�t rely on you to help me out when I need it. You say that you want this marriage to work, but you are not showing it to me at all. It hurts me when you do this, and it happens far too much, and I don�t know how much longer I can live with this. This is just one of the many, many things that is bothering me�
He said, true to form: �I�m sorry�
I said, �Those words don�t mean shit to me anymore. They don�t fix anything. I�m sick of hearing them�
And that was pretty much it, except for my last jab about how it would have been nice to have that one beer before I left, which is why I�d asked him to get it in the first place. At that point, I�d even teared up a little.
I don�t know if it worked, because when it got home he was half asleep and didn�t want to be bothered with me. This morning he�s been kind of a kiss ass so far.
But, I was kinda proud of myself for communicating, and I tried to use my �I� messages as much as possible, but I know I threw a few �you� messages in there too. And I was clam as hell.
Anyway, I went to Brooks and skipped the meeting. Then I headed to Christmas Tree Shops and spent $46 on four bags of shit I did not need. Well, I got the weed kill, some preen, garden gloves and scissors, oh and a killer big beach bag (for five bucks, man!), and of course crap like candles and candle holders because I cannot resist them. And other various odds and ends.
Then I hit Wally World for potting soil, one of those thing-a-ma-whatsie pot holder things, and the wildflower mix (�hummingbird and butterfly mix�). Oh and some ponytail holders and smelly stuff. And that was all less than $30.
Not a bad night for roughly $70. I felt better after.
I�m suddenly interested in that myspace gig. How fun. And, what�s better than getting a new friend request? �So and so wants to be your friend�. How the fuck can you hate that! I for one LOVE it! Go there, sign up if you haven�t, and add me! You will make me so happy!!! I even wrote a few entries in the blog.
Something interesting about myspace, I located a guy I dated briefly when I was a teenager. His name was Frank, and he was somewhat older than me, and a musician. My first musician. I had the hots for him but good. I still think he�s pretty fucking hot, twenty damn years later. Check him out on my profile, his name is �Francis�, you have to go to �view more pics� on his profile to see him. We have been chatting back and forth about the old days and it�s way too fun. There�s someone from the past I�d happily see again. [insert more adulterous thoughts here]. And shush, don't let the cat ot of the bag! Be cool, man!
Anyway, gotta make the kiddos some lunch, and then it�s back outside, baby!
Ciao and shit!