"I'll be honest with you, I love his music, I do, I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, it doesn't get any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman". "

I suppose I should start writing this now before Smokey shows up and hogs my computer all morning. He hasn�t been on myspace since Wednesday maybe�maybe Thursday, whatever, anyway, he�ll be hogging this for a while.

And he�s been a friend for so long, I might just leave him here on it and go run out to the credit union and give Hub a ride to Hudson Quarry cuz he needs some kind of foamy rock cement shit to repair that $70,000 waterfall he�s been working on. Again, must be nice to have $70,000 to blow on a waterfall.

Speaking of those people (Bob and Roberta, great names, ey?), they are raising their granddaughter who is 7 or 8 years old. There aren�t any other kids her age nearby in their neighborhood, plus she�s a heavy kid and kind of shy because of it. Hub was talking to Roberta yesterday and suggested we get the girls together. Which I am all for. First off, they�re nice people, I wouldn�t agree to hang out if they weren�t. Plus? They also have a nice, nice in ground pool with a waterfall in it. I told Hub, �Hell yeah, we can hook the kids up. They can come over here but when it�s hot? We�re going swimming, man!�.

They�re house is like a big, fancy playground. You should see the waterfall. I just tried to look for the photos of it under Beavis�s username, but all I got was a bunch of bullshit about all these .exe files that have failed, and all I can think is that he�s got a nasty virus in there. Goddamn it! WTF!

That little fucker is in prime fuck-up mode lately. Well, visiting his virus infested username is only the second fuck up. Yesterday, I did laundry. Now, for the past few weeks, I�ve been doing my laundry with Minnie and Mickey�s, and Hub�s, Butthead�s and Beavis�s separately on a different day. Not yesterday, though. Nope, yesterday, I did them all together, even though Hub�s really filthy clothes (and trust me, they�re FILTHY) get washed in a totally separate load on �extra heavy� with lots of extra soap. Anyway, in one load, the one with most of my tops in it, there was a pair of Beavis�s shorts. Little fucker left a pen in them. And since we have so much laundry, I don�t check pockets. MY mistake. Yeah. So, six of my tops, including every damn tank top/halter top that I wore in the last week, is covered with pen marks. Which, btw, I�ve been thinking how I just don�t have enough tank tops and needed more anyway, and now four of them are ruined.

I was in tears. At first I thought it was one of Hub�s crayons (omg, that sounds funny. Like he colors all day. Hee hee. He uses the crayons to mark where he needs to cut brick for walkways and such. He�s not a good colorer, otherwise. I am, though. I kick ass. I stay inside the lines and everything. But I digress), so I called him, but then I found the pen.

Hub showed up minutes later (Bob and Roberta live right behind us, minutes away). He handed me $300 cash and told me to buy clothes. I told him, I was upset because I like those clothes. He insisted that I only spend that money on clothes for me, �And if I find out you bought anything else with that money, like shit for the kids, I�ll be pissed�. I knew I was keeping him around for a reason. He then handed me another $1000 in cash and said �Do what you have to with it, But make sure you only spend that $300 on clothes for you�.

Seems the walk he just built was 100% under the table. Yey! I loves me some cash-paying customers. Check it out:

He put that lamppost in too, and the steps at the door. It�ll look nicer when the grass grows in, which the dirt is covered in straw right now. I can say a lot of negatives about Hub and his literacy and his lack of judgment and whatever, but he can do amazing shit with his landscaping, that�s for sure.

Anyway, back to that fucker Beavis. Yeah, same thing happened last year, only it was my work clothes that got destroyed. He was good about emptying his pockets after that, but evidently had a brain fart or something. Whatever. I guilted the shit out of him and told him to do his own laundry from now on, which scares the crap out of him. I won�t do any of his for like two weeks, that�ll be plenty of time for me to get my point across.

Then I had to go through our Monday ritual as of late, Beavis dreading going to Boy Scouts. Every Monday, it�s the same damn thing, and I�m of the opinion that he should drop out. He likes being there, and he loves camping, but other than that, he doesn�t work on his merit badges or fundraisers or anything. And I�ve had the feeling that he�s embarrassed about it, too. He admitted that to me last night. But yet, he doesn�t just want to quit. Summer camp is coming up in July, and since that�s mostly paid for, and that�s his favorite part of Boy Scouts, he can go to that, and then I advised dropping out. I don�t know what else to do, and I�m so fucking tired of the drama every Monday afternoon.

Andrea�s kids stayed home with their dad yesterday, so I had no other kids. What a pleasant surprise. I got a bird feeder pole for the back back, by the woods, where I�m working on a wildflower garden. I hung a seed feeder and a hummingbird feeder on it and the thing had hummingbirds on it every time I looked out there. Rock on. I also got a feeder post that suction cups to a window, and put another hummingbird feeder on my big front window. They found that one, too. Cool. I love it.

We have a pair of what I believe are Star Finches, they�re some kind of finch, anyway, that have been hanging out for a few weeks. They sit on our wires outside and sing and fly around, and they�re in the middle of building a nest on the side of the house. So cool. I�m trying to think of names for them, and the ones that keep coming to mind are Sid and Nancy.

I know, I�m like the biggest, most boring geek ever. All I need now is some binoculars, a bird book, and some gaucho pants and I�ll be an old lady birdwatcher.

Speaking of gaucho pants, I never finished my clothing story. I went online last night and spent the first $100 of that $300. I got a pair of shorts, some capris, three tanks and two tees (one says, �Rock on�, and I got it just for that reason) from Old Navy, and then two halters (buy one, get one free, man!) from Kohl�s.

Um, yeah, I checked out Target? And what the fuck does Target have against tank tops with the built in bras? I found one there. WTF? I don�t buy them without the bras built in, for one, this chick can�t get away with letting the jugs hang free. Especially in the summer. Too sticky. Besides, if I�m wearing a tank, I�m not wearing a bra with it. One, too hot, two, I have having my straps showing. It doesn�t work for me. So, Isaac Mizrahi or whatever your name is, get on the fucking ball. I would have bought a bunch more if it weren�t for your lack of attention to us women with big boobs.

But I digress. Gaucho pants are back? How fucking hideous. I wore those in the second grade. They were ugly then, and they�re ugly now. That�s just my opinion.

My sunburn is at the itchy stage. It still hurts, but not as much. It feels like there are bugs crawling all over me. I feel like a crackhead in withdrawal. And tags on my shirts are making me INSANE. Hub and Minnie have been trading off the daily Aloe Vera/Noxzema applications. And when we went to Wally World yesterday, I bought myself some sunblock with SPF 30. I saw some SPF 4, but that�s the same as going without, I think. I get a kick out of the bronzers, though. I too could look orange like Paris Hilton and Charlize Theron. No, no thank you.

Anyway, I�ve got shit to do.

See ya!!!

Listening to: Blue's Clues!

Currently reading: "No Second Chance" Harlan Coben. Did I mention this is an awesome book? Cuz it is.

Thinking about: Cutting up veggies, atking meat out of the freezer for din, going to the credit union, watching Colin climb on the furniture.