"Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect! "

Is it going to rain today or not? This is the big question for the kiddos today. If it doesn�t rain, we�ll go to Robinson Pond for a swim. If it does rain, then we won�t. Right now, it looks fine. And it�s sweaty already (hee hee, kind of like Betty Spaghetti!). I guess we�ll �wait and see� (three words that kids cannot bear).

Anyway. I was really irritated with the whole Hilda situation yesterday and I know I came off as harsh, especially considering she�s �just a child�. Ha. Just a child my ass. The thing that pisses me off is that according to Hilda, nothing is ever �fair� to her. Nobody ever does enough for her. And for the past year or so, since I got over the shit she pulled with her mother, I�ve been going out of my way to make sure we get her nice things, I try to do stuff for her, and I was going to take her to NY with us ONLY because she wanted to
go. And it�s not enough. Hub says that she doesn�t want to go to NY because he and Butthead are going to Six Flags on Sunday, and she wants to do that, but what she doesn�t realize is that the truck is full, she can�t go with them. And so, when she returns home from whatever church trip she went on today, she�s going to find out that she can�t go to Six Flags, and she�s not coming with me now, either.

It�s just so irritating that I�ve gone out of my way to make her feel the same (as much as I can with the living situations) as my own kids, and no matter what, she talks bad about me behind my back and says I�m not fair and yada yada yada. Bitch. That�s why your digi cam that I got you for your birfday cost $30 more and was a better camera than the one I got Beavis (of course, we won�t mention that he has a way better memory card, okay?). That�s why I buy you clothes when I�m under no obligation to do so. And still, you�re an ungrateful little bitch. We go out of our way to set her up with counseling (the girl who whines that she doesn�t go to the doctor enough, first when she lived with us we neglected her medical needs, now it�s her mom that�s doing so), and she tells Beavis, �If they make me go to therapy, I�m NOT going�. I mean, what the fuck is going to make this little douchebag-in-training happy? Nothing, I say.

So, if I�m going to be unfair and mean no matter how much I try not to be, then I�m done. I hate when I do nice shit for people and get shit on for it. Regardless of whether or not they�re adults or 14 years old. She knows what she�s doing. You can�t tell me she doesn�t. She knows what she�s trying to pull with her lies and her stealing and shit. She can�t be trusted. So, fuck her, I say. No more clothes, no more expensive presents, no more spending the same amount on her on Christmas as I do my own kids, when she�s got another set of parents spending on her.

She is so much like that bitch I was friends with when I was a teenager, Robyn. We were 14 when we first started hanging out. And that bitch fucked me over more than once, and all I did to deserve it was to trust her and be her friend. I was too young to realize what a conniving cunt she was. (Oh! I said the C word! Can you tell that, 20 years later, I still harbor some issues in regard to her?). She lied about me, started awful rumors about me, stole from me, lied to me about EVERYTHING, tried (and sometimes succeeded) to turn friends and boyfriends against me, I mean you name it, she did it. And I wasn�t the only one she did it to, either, so it wasn�t special just for me.

Eventually, the girl did turn herself around. She got the mental help she needed and started a family. She got an MSW and works with a local public mental health facility as an advocate. I�m sure she�s not the same person she was back then. However, she was much smarter and determined than Hilda is, so I don�t see the same outcome for Hilda. Hilda will end up just like her mom, who�s biggest job skill is brushing dog hair (I can�t even go as far to say �dog grooming�, because it�s just the brushing of the hair for her).

Anyway, all that being said, I cannot wait for Friday. I can�t wait to go to NY. Can�t wait. I�ve been saving up the money and it looks like taking the money I wanted to will not be a problem at all. Plus not taking Hilda saves some money. So that�s one less thing to worry about. I�m just so dang excited about going, I can�t wait. As soon as Andrea picks up Makayla and Colin Friday evening, we are on the road. It�s roughly an eight hour drive straight through, and by leaving at night, the kids will sleep much of the way, so we�ll be in Jamestown around 3 or 4 am Saturday morning. Quinn and Steph won�t be in town until later Saturday, so for once, I�ll be one of the first ones there. The past two trips, I�ve always missed the �first night in Jamestown� drinking binge. Not this time! HA!

Seeing Rod again is going to be crazy. I haven�t seen him in person since 1992. Funny too is that I look better now than I did then. I think I might even be a little thinner than I was when I got pregnant. And I ditched the whole hippie/dead head thing I had going then, which he was kind of embarrassed about with his family. (I know, what a dink). I�m not going for the �eat your heart out� angle, but I may end up with that. Especially considering, the one time he saw me since back in the day, was on web cam about three years ago, when I was 100 lbs overweight. So he�s expecting a big fat Jackie. Imagine his surprise. If I can get it on camera, I will. The surprise between me, and mostly Beavis, will be kind of shocking.

Speaking of Rod. Beavis asked me to email some pics of him to Rod, so I did. He hasn�t even replied that he got them. WTF? I suppose I shouldn�t be so surprised.

I�m on my pity pot lately. Nobody is treating me right! ;)

Actually, that�s not true. Yesterday, little Jennifer next door came over and announced that she and her brother are going to the Hudson Rec Center all summer. Which means
Two less neighborhood kids to be around all day to aggravate me. Yey! So maybe my neighbor still wants to marry me and is looking to score brownie points? Just kidding. But really? This neighbor is so appreciative of their getting rid of their kids all day this summer. Rock on. Must have gotten the notice that the Neighborhood Babysitter quit. Or the one where she�s a drunk. Whatever.

I put a bunch of pics up at Flickr from yesterday. Some boring flower ones, but then a bunch of last night�s Boy Scout Court of Honor at Robinson Pond. One of Mickey is especially hilarious, he was in an absolute rage running with a big stick ready to beat the crap out of Minnie. He has major rage issues, and I shouldn�t laugh at them, but the pic is freakin� hilarious, man.

Anyway. It rained a bit, and now it�s not. Who knows if swimming today will happen. We�ll see.

I�m out, yo!!!

Listening to: "Helena" My Chemical Romance. OMG, I actually know the song AND the band today.

Currently reading: Haven't started "A Cold Heart" yet.

Thinking about: Rain? Or not? WTF?