"I'm a fuggin' idiot. I'm a fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot... "
Well, it would be so much easier to update if the spousal unit would stop hanging out at the house and hogging the computer on me. He�s gone now, but he�ll be back.
Yesterday�s rant was cathartic, man. It felt good.
Mickey loves school. He is so much happier in the afternoons, not that his happiness or lack thereof has been a concern of mine or anything.
As far as The Nina Situation. She came over the next day and just asked if he was in preschool or kindergarten. She didn�t ask about me not telling her, nor did I bring it up. But, I�ve settled on the �being overwhelmed with my own problems� line of attack, so should it be brought up, I�m prepared.
Anyway, I think she realizes the importance of getting her license back, because she was talking about it a lot the same day. It seems to me like Jay is stalling her efforts to get it back, if only just a little bit. She was going to have the money for it (the drunky class) Tuesday or something, but he took the money and said he�d give her the money for it Thursday.
Of course, one thing I�ve learned about Jay is that he and his money don�t part ways easily. Unless it�s for important shit like weed or pain killers (he has an awesome set of prescriptions; percs, vicodins, valiums�.man, I�d never leave the fucking house if I had a set-up like that, so thank God I don�t) or pizza. They had their cable shut off. The cable company was going to let them pay last Friday without disconnecting them, but Jay wasn�t ready to pay it. Not that he didn�t have the money, he makes plenty of it. Anyway, the cable company shut them right off. Nina doesn�t care, she doesn�t watch tv much at all. Jay�s the couch potato, and now all he ahs left is DVDs and video games.
Anyway, yeah, see, as annoying as Nina can be, she�s not someone I�d just dump the friendship of. Not because it means so much to me, but she�s my nephew�s mom. As much as I can�t stand the little fucker, there is a family connection. Plus, I�ve known her for over ten years. And, they live right next door. So, if I were going to just dispose of the friendship, trust me, it�d be done already.
Goddammit, why am I wasting my time on this shit when my life has been so full of Dick lately. Hee hee. That almost sounded sexual. Speaking of sexual. I hate having sex with my husband first thing in the morning and having his load coming out of me all day. It�s just gross. Of course, it�s my fault, I initiated �things� this morning. I just couldn�t wait until later. And it was after my shower.
There�s your ration of TMI for the day. You�re welcome.
Um, before I discuss Dick, might I mention that my myspace has become very full of real life people lately? I am mixing worlds. Since so many of my dland friends are on there, too. Worlds are colliding! Anyway, yeah, Jeff that I worked with at the credit union is on there (find him, he�s a cutie pie, he�s the only Jeff on my friends list), my old friend Chris from Jamestown, now Courtney next door. Now, *that�s* a funny one.
Beavis knows all about my myspace, and therefore, he refuses to get one. I�m serious! He won�t get one, even though I�ve asked him to, because I�m there. Especially with the whole �Brendan�s Mommy� thing. I fucking rule. Anyway, he went over Courtney�s yesterday, and told her about my myspace, which was his biggest mistake. Because Courtney? Loves me, man. So the first thing she did was request to be my friend. Beavis was all, �no!� because all of his friends are friends with Courtney on myspace, and then everyone is going to see Brendan�s Mommy and since most of them have seen me, well, this is the whole fucking point of that screen name.
And he thinks it�ll be so embarrassing to have his friend�s say, �Your mom is on myspace?�. Well, kid, if I could, I�d totally Photoshop some half naked chick in a thong in some sexy pose to a picture of my head. So, be happy I�m like, clothed and shit and don�t do that anyway.
He�s just afraid that his friends will think I�m cool. Which I am, and they know it.
He keeps begging me to change my screen name. Poor kid. I might, eventually, but I really like this one. And Courtney is in my top eight. HA! HA!
He can�t be too pissed at me though. I made his day yesterday. He was still stressing the clothing thing big time. I feel for the kid. So, yesterday, I didn�t have Colin and Makayla so when Mickey went to school, I was *child free* for two precious hours. I went to Bob�s Stores with my little Visa card and hit the best clearance, EVER. I got him two pairs of jeans, two t-shirts and a sweatshirt for $75. All skater-type stuff, Hurley sweatshirt, Quiksilver jeans, Independent Trucking Co shirt, etc. His words, �Mom, I could like hug you right now�. He could like hug me! Aw!
Since Hub still doesn�t know about the credit card, I had do this under cloak of secrecy. I waited until Hub left for a bit to give him the bag and I told him not too even ask about where the money came from and to keep it on the DL. The wonderful thing about Hub�s lack of attention to details is that he�ll never notice the kid has new clothes. Not even a chance.
But anyway I wanted to chat about Dick. Dick, Dick, Dick. I nicknamed you after your most redeeming feature and also the word that best describes you. Dick is sportin� a �capias� due to not coming to court this morning.
He got a job, don�t cha know. Swell. Right back at the company he was working for last fall. He just started last week so he can�t miss the time from work. And judges, well, they just sympathize so much with that excuse. Only not. So, he called the CSO that handles our case, Tim, yesterday to say he can�t go. Tim told him, �Sorry, pal, at this point, we have to go through with this�.
Tim told me this morning (because I figured *I�d* at least show up) that he still could have saved himself from certain incarceration as late as last month. He said that he signed the certified letter that they sent him in February telling him about the court date, and never made any effort to discuss his situation with Tim until yesterday, the day before the court date. He said that killed him.
Long story short, he has a warrant out for his arrest and will get out of jail when he pays $2000 toward child support. He got a deal, his arrearage is $11,237. Most of which, I�ll never see.
Anyway, but that isn�t the best of it. Dick called me yesterday, too, and I pulled a set of balls out of somewhere (mostly my anger) and let him have it.
Oh, he keeps going back to �wanting to be with my family�. That�s what he calls me and the kids. �If I had it my way, I�d be with my family and then I could take care of them�. OH SHUT THE FUCK UP. I told him to stop whining about that. I said, �It�s not like I just woke up one day and said, Oh, I think I�m just going to be done with Dick today�. There was a great deal of shit, months and months upon months of it, that brought me to the point where I believed the only way I could get out of that relationship was to have court and police intervention.
�But things were going to be fine. Financially, we were going to be fine. I had a $600 check in my pocket the day you had me thrown out�. Yeah, and I knew that. I knew that and the money didn�t fucking matter to me. I took the biggest chance of my life getting rid of him and in the way that the universe tends to unfold itself, everything worked out for me as soon as I did.
So, he kept harping about back then, how everything was going to be fine, and I said, �Do you want to do this? Do you really want to rehash this six year old shit AGAIN? Because we can. And allow me to bring Beavis into it, since he was there and remembers what life was like with you, and gives me shit about it every now and then, about why I stayed with you for so long when you were so bad to us�. Yeah, um, no response from Dick over that line.
I gave him shit about the kids. I.e.; not taking care of them, and how Hub does. Hub keeps the roof over their head, Hub does Daddy�s job. Want to know what that piece of shit had to say to that? �That�s his choice�. Cocksucker! I told him he should be thankful for that.
�Blah blah blah, Mickey doesn�t even know that I�m his dad, yadda yadda yadda�. Evidently ,when they were there for New Year�s, Mickey drew a picture of him, Hub and Dick and told Dick, �It�s Daddy, me and you�. Well, there�s the reason why he hasn�t seen them since. Whatever, he�s done it to himself.
That�s the other thing, he makes it seem like I keep the kids from him. Admittedly, there have been times I�ve refused, and most notably about three years ago, when I didn�t so much refuse him as I gave him an opportunity to show some commitment to them before I allowed him to see them. He couldn�t commit, so he didn�t see them.
I put him in his place about not seeing them, too. �Don�t make it seem like I keep them from you, because as memory serves, I was going out of my way driving them and you places so that you could be with them. Now, you can�t even walk up to see them at church on Sundays�. Fuckwad, I�m telling you.
There is so much that I went over in a mere 13 minutes, I can�t possibly cover it all here. Suffice it to say, he is a useless piece of shit and I felt way better after confronting him about everything, rather than sit there and not say anything.
It may be a new beginning for me, who knows.
Ciao!