"My life is a soiled tattered tissue, tossed into the toilet of life. What will I do know? "
Happy Effing Spring. I hope that somewhere in this country someone is feeling spring weather. I�m not. It�s looks kinda springy outside, and the buds are starting to show on the trees, but it�s still cold as all hell. I�m really ready for weather that doesn�t require a hat and gloves.
Friday I went over to Nina�s for a while with the kids. They had a bunch of sidewalk chalk and since their driveway is the only one here that�s paved, we went over there.
Well, Jay came home and was all rambunctious with the kids. First he duct-taped a few of them up and drew on their faces with magic markers, which was funny. They all joined in and painted each other up nice and pretty. They looked like a bunch of hungover drunks the day after a really fun party.
After, they all wanted to see inside their shed. So, Jay let them in, and then locked them in. They were loving it, just so you know. They were yelling and screaming like kids do when they�re all riled up.
I noticed that at about the same time they were put in there, this crow was on a tree right next to the shed and just started �caw�-ing like crazy. Then, it flew to another tree right next to the shed and kept it up. I told Nina that it seemed like he was reacting to the kids somehow.
She was kinda iffy about it, until the crow flew onto the shed itself and kept cawing. Then, he flew away, like hundreds of feet away, and then came right back, right onto the shed again. Jay let the kids out of the shed right after and the crow flew away.
It was the weirdest thing. I don�t know why he would react that way. Maybe because the potential for human carcasses was good and he wanted to let the flock know of a likely food source?
Anyway. That�s the excitement in my life. We spent Friday afternoon and evening at Nina and Jay�s. I swear I should do like a weekly feature, �The Scoop on Nina & Jay�. A regular gossip column but just about them. It gets kind of funny sometimes.
Saturday, I spent with the kids. What fun, only not. It was a Daisy weekend and plus Shawn slept over.
I�m all set with Beavis�s fucking sleepovers. I like that he lives in a house where he can have his friends over a lot, but he pushes me. And it�s not like this is all a big deal unless you consider that I am constantly asking him the same things, and he just ignores it.
Take for example, the late night snack attack. We all do it, especially as teenagers. The thing about Beavis and his friends is they leave a fucking mess for me to come down to in the morning. Hey, you want to have a late night snack, fine, but pick up after. Rinse your dishes, wipe up your spills, clean up your crumbs, close the cabinet doors. It�s not like I�m asking a heck of a lot.
However, every goddamn time, it looks like a bunch of three year olds got themselves their own snacks and fed themselves. Sunday morning, I walked downstairs barefoot to get my coffee started and walked in all kinds of fucking maple syrup on the floor. WTF? Is it so hard to sit down and eat? You gotta pace around the kitchen and make sure to drip that shit everywhere?
I hate that. I hate stepping in nasty shit. Dirt, soda, syrup, shit, it all pisses me off. Which is why, for the most part, I wear flip-flops around the house. And make my best attempt at keeping the floor somewhat clean. As much as I can living in a house full of slobs.
Plus, I�ve told him a fucking million times to clean that shit up. Make an effort.
Then, he had the phone downstairs. The remaining cordless that we have out of a set of two (that I bought last summer), since Beavis broke the other one a few weeks ago. So, Hub went down to fetch it.
Somehow or another, the little fucker got his hands on a roll of stickers from the grocery store, big, circular bright orange stickers that say $2.99 on them. They�re all the rage in the basement right now. Well, he fucking covered my fucking phone in them. At least 15-20.
Honestly, after my initial reaction of flipping out, I began to wonder what kind of huff-able substances we have downstairs. Paint? Gas? (OMG, I would kill Hub for that) Glue? Because really, the kid had to have been sniffing something to do that to my phone.
It turns out that he wasn�t huffing, he�s just an ass. I grounded him from the phone for a week. He has shown so much disrespect for my shit that I had to.
He had nothing to say for himself besides �sorry�. As for the syrup, �Well, Shawn had some French toast sticks on a plate and the syrup was leaking off of it�. So, he couldn�t fucking SIT DOWN, why? It couldn�t be wiped up, why? Someone was gonna steal your glue if you didn�t hurry?
And the phone, �I thought it would just come off�. Yeah. I told him, put stickers on YOUR shit. YOUR TV, YOUR PSP, YOUR PS2, etc, etc. NOT MINE. Maybe you think that because you�re on the phone all the time that it�s your�s, but it�s not.
The minutia of my life. Fucking fascinating, I tell you.
I haven�t written about my weight lately. �Lately� meaning, what, two months? I haven�t weighed in since January. The last time I went, I felt like a huge piece of shit. A fat one, too. I thought I�d done okay that week, only to find I�d gained three pounds. It was depressing as all hell. I wanted to leave the meeting right then, but I was with the girls so I stayed. Which was not such a good idea, listening to all the success stories and knowing that just two years ago that was me.
That, and the financial difficulty made it very hard to keep up. First, we were so broke that I couldn�t afford the $12 for the meetings. Second, shopping on an extremely tight and sometimes absolutely non-existant food budget does not leave room for the really healthy stuff like fruits and veggies. Cheez curls, however, are very affordable at any time.
I was trying to keep up with walking the trails out back, but having kids makes it impossible. They don�t walk fast, they piss and fucking moan, they don�t want to go, blah blah blah. Plus? It�s fucking cold. I won�t go out there after Hub gets home when it�s getting dark. Why? The last time I took a walk when there was fresh snow on the ground, I saw tons and tons of coyote tracks. I know they�re out there, but to see such direct evidence of them? Creepy.
I have every excuse in the book.
Anyway. I need to do something, or I�m going to need to buy new clothes soon. I need to anyway, since Hub made a pair of my favorite jeans vanish into thin air (I�d left them on the bed one day during a snow storm, that was the last I saw of them. Hub came home from plowing and went to bed and I haven�t seen those jeans since) and the jeans I got at Old Navy for $7 last fall ripped right down the side. I LOVED those jeans. I definitely got my $7 worth, but still. I�m down two pairs of jeans. If I gain any more, I�ll be down ALL pairs of jeans.
And summer! Summer is coming! Tank tops and halters and shorts and skirts. Of which I have way too many to have to buy more.
Anyway. Yeah. Since lately I�ve acquired this habit of waking up for the day at 4:00 AM (with the exception of today, which was 3:00 AM), I think that in the next few weeks I might start going out for a nice brisk walk on those mornings. It�s too fucking cold right now.
I feel lame right now. It�s a good time to go out and buy napkins, milk and bird seed.
Don�t covet what I have. I think it�s against some kind of commandment.
Anybody watch �Big Love� on HBO? I fucking love it. I am addicted. Add another show to the DVR list. Thanks to the power of the OnDemand, I�ve already seen the third episode.
Chole Sevigny�s character Nicki? Absolutely unbearable. I love it.
Ciao!