Yada, yada, yada
Oh, goody, Weatherbug has just informed me that we are under a flood watch or warning or something, a cold front is moving in and we're getting remnants of that hurricane, whose name I forget, maybe Barney? (I wish it could be my job every year to think of the names for the hurricanes. What a cool job. I'd have fun, like naming my kids. "Hurricane Declan", "Hurricane Jaden", "Hurricane Fallon", they'd all have cool names, until I ran out of those. Then I'd just name them all after my kids, repeatedly. So fitting).
Anyway, I guess today they're right and we're going to really have crappy weather. The last two days they said we'd have crappy weather, but it was actually beautiful, and I wasted those beautiful days school shopping instead of hanging out at the E.coli pond where I could work on my tan and wear out the kiddies.
Beavis came up to me yesterday and said, "Why does it take Butthead so long to wake up in the morning?". I was like, "Huh?" cuz I really wasn't in the mood for Q&A (his can get pretty tough sometimes, and they start out easy and then it turns to, "What exactly does E=mc2 mean, and when and where was Einstein born?" I'm flattered that he thinks I'm that smart, but one day the world is going to come crashing down upon him when he realizes I'm not). Butthead is working with Hub for the summer. Anyway, Beavis goes, "Well, I know Butthead is up cuz his light is on, but Hub will have to call him like 20 times before he gets up". And I said, "Beavis, he's 15, why don't you wait and see how fast you wake up when you're 15..." and he says, "What do you mean?" and now Q&A is getting irritating, so knowing exactly how to get rid of him, I said, "He's probably jerking off". End of conversation, as the boy promptly left after that comment.
I'm going to hell.
This is kind of like the evening of Beavis's birthday earlier in the summer. We had cake and all, and as we're sitting at the table, Butthead says, "Just think about what you were doing nine months before 13 years ago today" and I promptly blurted out, "Yup, same thing I'm gonna be doing tonight!". The look on their faces is priceless. PRICELESS! Kind of like turning away, with a hand to the side of their face...it's great. Like when Eric Forman caught Red and Kitty having sex.
It's fun to embarrass them, but it's also nice to have an open line of communication about sex.
Anyway, on the homefront, things have settled a bit. Hub actually listened to me regarding the other night, which is a big step. Face it, for a week or so every month, I'm a complete pyschopath and all the issues come up. I know we'd greatly benefit from some counselling, and I'm sure some anti-depressants would help me but the latter is out of the question for me. I know I like to smoke and pop 'pins, but I'd rather be a psycho than put myself on prozac or paxil or lexapro or anything that really fucks with my head. Never have, never will. Why?
1. Weight gain. Nope, sorry, been there, done that. I struggle enough to keep this weight off as it is.
2. Decline in sexual desire. I'm not horny enough as it is.
3. Fatigue. Got enough of that without drugs helping out.
4. The fact that they can make you crazier. I'd be that person to go completely fucking bananas on them.
When Beavis was having issues last year, the first thing that was suggested by his med person (who prescribes his ritalin) was to put him on anti-depressants. I so was like, uh, no, how about some counselling? Which worked way better than any drug could. The medical community is way out of control with the drugs. Oh, we've got a pill for that! And that! And that, too! Some things are necessary, but for every little teeny thing? I think I can handle my ingrown toenail without drugs, thanks.
Anyway. I've got to pee. Bye!
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