green eggs and ham yosemite sam

One of the most fascinating things about living in New England, and I've been here all my life, is the diehard Red Sox fans. DIE FUCKING HARD. I mean, the Sox disappoint the shit out of us repeatedly (ie; last goddamn year), but when they show some actual promise, like the play-offs and last night's ass-wuppin' on the yucking Fankees, the fans go nuts.

People keep saying, "THIS is going to be the year". People say that every year. People said that last year. Talk about keeping the faith.

It's insane around here right now. Listening to the radio is a blast. I have to admit that I'm catching the fever, but that's a secret, okay, because in reality I'm being the cynic. Every time I hear "this is going to be the year", I say, "Remember last year?". Or, "well, I'm glad we have the Pats anyway, they won't let us down".

However, it would be nice if the team with Roger Clemons ended up playing against the Sox in the World Series and wuppin' their ass. But, I'm not getting my hopes up. I'll remain a curmudgeon until the Sox win. If. When. Whatever.

Anyway, that said, I've got some fucked up kid shit going on. Yesterday was not a great day as far as the little fuckers go and I'll share the two particular reasons why.

First, there's Beavis, the hyperactive spaz case. This is a boy who has embraced his ADHD and celebrates it very openly. He thinks nothing of screaming like an idiot around the hood. It's kind of embarrassing to tell the truth, but still somewhat harmless.

Yesterday, the young demon and his partner in crime were wandering around the neighborhood (which is a private driveway off a windy country road with four duplexes on it. We all rent. It's a mini ghetto in the sticks). They went to the house next door to see if one of the kids there could come out. She couldn't, so they left the house and walked through their front yard, with Beavis screaming like he's got Tourette's. Idiot. Then the lady on the other side, a Brazilian woman who I'd previously thought to be insane, came out and started yelling at him, telling him she'll tell his parents. As she's getting out of the house to do this, he comes in to give me the scoop. He thinks that because I think the Brazilian lady is crazy that I'll side with him. But I didn't, because I don't blame her for being disturbed by the retarded boy screaming in her yard. And I told him if she does come over to talk to me, I'll be extremely pissed at him for getting a grown woman to that point.

So, she shows up. And she was very nice, and not crazy like I thought. She apologized for having to come over, and then explained that her father is staying there and he's ill, with cancer, on oxygen, and doesn't have much longer to live. =( And the screaming is making him more uncomfortable. I apologized, explained that I understand her position and promptly got the boy in the house to guilt him with that. And the lad felt very bad about it. Good. And he stopped screaming. Until this morning, when he yelled his way down to the bus stop.

I'm thinking medication isn't enough for the boy and it's time to consider tougher measures. Like electro-shock therapy. I saw what that did to the people on "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". Or possibly a lobotomy. That'll shut him up. But probably all he'll get is a good old fashioned ass-kicking.

Then there's my darling little daughter. She's 5. She was out playing with the neighborhood demons yesterday afternoon as she always does. She ended up in our yard with the little boy next door, who's 6 and has had the hots for Minnie since he moved in this spring. I noticed that they were in our Little Tikes play cube gym thing alone, so decided to spy and see what they were up to.

Minnie went under it and laid down. Then, the kid next door gets on top of her (fully clothed, mind you) and starts humping her!!! NO FUCKING SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! So, trying not to make too big of a deal out of it, I called her in the house and sent him off. I just let her know that's unacceptable behavior and from now on, she needs to stay in the yard where I can see her at all times. What the fuck. I thought I had at least, what, 8 years before I have to start worrying about her having sex.

It never fucking ends. Plus her school is closing down for good next week because they can't keep running. This is a school that's been in business since 1968. Her teacher is looking into perhaps doing something in her home, which would be great because she's a wonderful teacher, but otherwise, I'll probably home school her for kindergarten. I can't afford what the kindergartens around here are charging, except for the parochial school down the road, which I have no strong objections to, but still am not entirely crazy about the idea of religion being crammed down her throat. I don't want my kids to be riddled with the catholic guilt that I grew up with.

I've got five fucking kids coming here today. I'm so not looking forward. I just need to get through this day, but the way I'm feeling now, I don't know if that'll happen without me going bananas. I gave Hub the heads-up that I'll be a little bitchy today, and of course he just called to bother me with stupid shit, making appointments with accountants without checking my schedule out first. Men. Can't live with them, can't leave them on the side of the road for dead.

But, me and Esther had a pleasant conversation this morning when I dropped off Daisy. Hub has Daisy for trick or treat this year and Esther would like her too, and I don't see why we can't just go out together, but Hub's totally against it. Sheesh, it's only a few hours and we'll probably be fried anyway, but he's dead set.

Anyway. I've got 30 minutes left of freedom before the hyper patrol starts rolling in.

Good lord.

Listening to:

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Thinking about: