Friday! TGIFF!!!
I have no idea where to go with this today. I don�t believe I have much to report.
I can say that that whole deal about quitting smoking pot after the trial has been put on hold. Smokey came over last night on his way to visit his buddy for some �nuggets� (Smokey-speak for good old fashioned stinky spankin� good weed) and we jumped onto that idea. And it is fucking good shit. Turned me into a retard, worse than I am straight.
If you want to read a funny outlook on religion, read George Carlin�s take on it . I wouldn�t advise clicking that if you�d be offended by blasphemy. Buddhababy had a link to it in one of his entries yesterday. It cracked my ass up.
Butthead decided to quit the wrestling team. Yey! I was starting to enjoy not having him here until after 6:00 pm. He thought that Driver�s Ed (he started last night. Unbelievable, there�s a kid in this house old enough for that)would be a conflict with wrestling practice. Quitter. I think it�s a bunch of horseshit. But, whatever.
He�s going to his momma�s for the weekend, which is nice. Down one obnoxious teenager for a couple of days. Now if only I could find a place for Beavis.
Beavis has been one friggin� pain in the ass lately. He�s got this idea in his head that he needs a cell phone. 13 fucking years old and he wants a cell phone. Please. Part of the reason he thinks this is because he�s got friends who have them. Parents, come on, get a goddamned grip. Let the kids at least hit driving age before you start contributing to their fucking brain cancer.
I�m not a big cell phone fan, but that�s mainly because I�m not a big phone fan at all. I�m thought of as thoughtless sometimes because I don�t pick up the phone to chat much. Sorry. The second I get on the fucking thing, you can guarantee that turns out to be the exact moment every friggin� kid in the house needs me. Beavis being the worst offender, btw.
So, the yard-ape is presenting his case to me. He wants a pre-paid. It�s only $40 at Wally World. That includes minutes. That would be, minutes he�ll piss through in roughly two days, if that. He says he�ll pay for it with his own money. Initially. Then, after he runs out of minutes, it�ll be on Mom�s ass until I buy more. He could easily dry his account right up in a matter of a month.
His sales pitch is unimpressive. �Mom, I could use it to call you when I go down to Wally World or St0p & Sh0p�. Okay, the one day every two weeks or so that you go? Bring a couple of quarters. They have payphones at both places.
I love how he tries to tell me he merely wants it for my benefit. Pah-leeze. The only frickin� reason he needs it is to be cool. Sorry. Your $52.50 Bam sweatshirt will make you cool. Not the cell phone. I told him he will not be getting a cell phone until he�s 16 and driving. Until then, suffer without one.
Back a few years ago, on �Malcolm in the Middle�, they had an episode in which Dewey was watching a commercial for a toy. They showed Dewey�s interpretation of the commercial: �if you don�t get me, you�ll die�. This has been my mantra for Beavis ever since. He gets so fixated when he wants something, he cannot think of anything else. I think, without his stupid cell phone, he will die.
He gets so pissed when I present it to him that way, too. �I�m not gonna die, Mom! I just really NEED it�. Needs it. Please. I love teenagers so much. And it�s just starting with him.
It�s absolutely fascinating, though, to see the compliance I�ve been getting from him since I started threatening to take his TV away from him for a day for certain offenses. There has not been a wet towel in his room since I said he�s getting the TV taken one day for every towel I find in his room. Argue with me anymore? A day without the TV. I didn�t realize I had this kind of leverage. I thought taking the PS2 would hurt, but it seems the TV is a particularly sensitive area. Who knew?
Anyway. Hub �finally� got laid last night. It�d been a whole four days or so. How does he live? Anyway, he was so good, he brought on my period. WTF? Looks like it�s gonna be another few days!
Meltdowns are beginning to occur behind me. �Sniper is a BOY!!!�. �Sniper is a GIRL!�. �No, he�s a BOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!�. This is the future of our world, debating the most important things in life.
I�m out, yo.