Hurricane Christmas
Oh. My. God.
My house is trashed. There�s trash everywhere. There�s pieces of candy randomly lying on the floor (last night I found a bit of candy cane stuck to my sock and all I could do was laugh. Normally, candy on the floor will freak me out), Those little wire twisty thingies that they use to permanently embed toys in their packages are strewn all over. Empty toy boxes. Plastic jacks (I�m going to kill Hub for buying those fucking things). Web blaster foam all over. Roughly 12 empty beer bottles on the kitchen counter. I can�t even see the top of my kitchen table. Gift wrap. And toys absolutely all fucking over.
So, we had a good Christmas. At least I�ve learned that I have not lost my strong urge to clean. I was up at 5:00 and already started on some laundry. I haven�t done much else as I�d like to enjoy some quiet time here by myself, but I�m looking around and coming up with my plan of attack on the mess.
Today, the tree comes down (WHOOOOOO-HOOOO!!!!!). The toys are going up to the kids� rooms. I�m cleaning this shithole. Life will return to a somewhat normal state.
I have the worst heartburn ever. I made this Mexican type dip yesterday, a recipe I got from Hub�s sister Tina. Man, if this shit was in my house all the time, I�d weigh an easy 300 lbs. You take a baking pan and put down a layer of refried beans, then a layer of sour cream, then salsa, then a bunch of shredded cheddar cheese and cook it until the cheese is nice and melted. Holy frickin� moley, yum yum yum.
So. I got some cool stuff and some not so cool stuff.
Cool stuff: Beavis bought me a little Buddha carved out of green jade. It�s beautiful. My dad got me a $50 gift certificate to B&N, which I will definitely only spend on me, and soon. Butthead got me one of those pretty glass bottles that you can put oil or dish soap in (I�ll use it for soap) with a fruity pattern on it so it�ll match my kitchen. Hub got me tools! (Yes, tools, as he had to lock his all up out in the shed a few months back because of the boys, and I�ve been high and dry. Not that I�m very handy, but I occasionally find myself in need of a hammer or a screwdriver and I haven�t had those so I asked for tools for Xmas). And Hub got me the first Star Wars Trilogy, which is wicked fucking cool, only he could have saved himself a bunch of money and only bought �The Empire Strikes Back� because that�s the only one I�m going to watch. And everybody got me candles. I�m so stocked up on them it�s ridiculous.
Not so cool stuff: Hub bought me a set of pots and pans. It�s no secret that I like to cook and I�m sure he was going along those lines, but I guess he hasn�t actually looked into the pan cabinet lately, because if he had he�d have seen that there�s barely room for what�s in there now. And my current pans are in really good shape. And it comes with a utensil holder full of utensils (which I already have) and a knife block with a set of knives, which I already have. And not to be a bitch, but the knives I have are nice, the kind that are screwed into the handle (Hub got those for me about three years ago). The ones in the pan set are glued into the handle, and those kind are crappy and break wicked easily. He also got me this Buddha teapot, which is neat, albeit a little ugly. And won�t quite fit in with my kitchen d�cor. But it�s the thought that counts right! And what a fucking bitch I am complaining about my gifts, right! I suppose, but I could�ve used that cash to buy more for him or otherwise have put it to better use. But, he has to be Mr. Big Present Man.
Oh well.
Yesterday in the morning I went to pick up Ned�s son Jayden at his �other grandparents� house, which is close to me so I had the honor. Jayden hadn�t seen Ned since before his birthday in November, so I gave him a head�s up that �Daddy Ned� would be there. Poor kid. He said, �He stole my mom�s money. I was going to have the best birthday ever but I couldn�t because he took the money. I was going to go to Fun World with $20. Then it was ruined�. OMG! What does one say to a kid! I just told him that that was a really stinky thing and that I was really sorry it happened to him. I�m definitely going to make a point of seeing him more. He and my kids get along really well.
Ned was really quiet yesterday. Who knows what�s up with him. He only got out of jail on Wednesday or Thursday, I guess he went to court on the 16th, when he thought he would get out, but the judge decided he needed another 5 days. Well, at least it sobered him up, and he wasn�t drinking yesterday. That was a good thing.
Had an interesting conversation with my aunt, who�s in her 60�s, my little cousin (�Lulu�, her nickname in real life), who�s 13 (but she seems older), and Hilda shortly before we left my aunt�s house. I bent over to pick something up and Lulu saw my thong. So, she says, �Dukkha! Nice thong! I didn�t even know you owned one of those� (cuz I�m all old and out of it, ya know). And I was like, �Hon, I own way more than one�. Well, then it became the comfort of wearing thongs. It turns out Lulu has one, but wants more. And my aunt joined in, saying that her daughter in law (Ross�s wife--they weren�t there btw, they�re in FL) swears by them. OMG, if I wasn�t so buzzed I don�t think I could have had that conversation with those people!
And of course, Hilda was sitting there going, �Ew! That�s gross!�, but in the course of the conversation, I told Hilda if she tried and wore one for one day she�d feel differently. And she went from �ew� to �Can we go to WallyWorld tomorrow and buy some?�. Heh. It seems her momma won�t allow her to wear them, and if I can piss off that bitch by being a way cool step mom, then I�m going to do it, dammit. And at least I�ll have a nice little chit chat with Hilda about being clean and wiping her ass good when she�s wearing them, which her mom wouldn�t do.
I don�t see the big deal. A former co-worker (who�s kind of goody-goody) told me a few years ago that her daughter, who was 15 at the time, wore them. And that was long before I did. And I was like, �You let her wear those?!?� and she explained to me, they�re friggin� underwear, big deal. And a lot of girls wear them. I know as soon as Minnie is old enough, she�ll be wearing them. So, if Hilda�s mom gets pissed at me and says something, which she probably won�t, I�m going into the �it�s just underwear� argument.
Blah. This was lame and lengthy. Now I�m going to get geared up for my day, since I�ve been sitting here for an hour.
Sayonara!