Fuck a duck
Well. Let�s just say that had I written my entry this morning like I usually do, it would have been one scathing, nasty entry mainly about how much I absolutely cannot stand the Hub right now. But in all the loveliness of the morning, I caught sight of the headlines about what�s going on in Asia right now with the earthquake and the tsunami and realized it could be way, way worse and I am fortunate to be here right now.
However, just because that put things into perspective does not change the fact that I would like to choke the living shit out of Hub right now. Of course, he�s a lot stronger than me so I wouldn�t get very far with that.
I began my morning dealing with Hub�s billing crappola. I just love that, but hey, the town over owes a nice chunk of change for snowplowing and dammit we could use it right now, so I woke up ready to put my best foot forward.
First, I finally downloaded Service Pack 2 for XP. That took fucking forever and irritated the shit out of me. When it was finally friggin� done and I restarted the computer, I moved onto billing.
Yeah, and seeing as he bills an hourly rate to the town for plowing, it was simple. Until I tried to print the invoice. Then the printer wasn�t working. Piece of shit, I thought, I should have known better than to buy a printer/scanner/copier for $150, it�s fucking up already. You get what you pay for.
So, I tried restarting the computer again. Still no printer. So I checked the �Printers� menu and noticed that it said my printer was offline. WTF? I unplugged the crap on the back of the printer and plugged it back in (to the back of the printer. Nothing.
So, I deleted the printer, figuring I�ll just add it back on and that�d fix it. Nope. You can�t do that.
So, I uninstalled the program, and re-installed it. Only it wouldn�t let me re-install. It would only get so far, to the point where it would ask me to hook the printer up to the computer, and wouldn�t go further.
Now, by this time, I�ve got one extra kid, plus Hilda was still here with her nose in everything. Which annoys the shit out of me, by the way.
And then in come Bobby and Cindy and their mom. And I was like, uh, I wasn�t expecting them! Seems as if PunkDaddy called me yesterday and left a message to that effect, and I didn�t check my messages. (Serves me right. I�m notorious for not checking messages. People in the know don�t even leave them anymore, they just call me repeatedly until I answer the phone. But I digress).
Anyway. All this is going on plus Hub is just annoying the shit out of me, and I was being a bit abrasive and irritating him too, and I�ve got it in my head that NOTHING can happen until I fix that damned printer. Goddamn it, son of a bitch, motherfucker, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! FUCK A DUCK! Which is what I really wanted to be saying out loud, only I couldn�t because other people�s kids were here.
So, I unstalled the friggin� program AGAIN and re-installed it AGAIN. And the same goddamned thing happened, it asked me to hook the fucking printer up to the computer, and I was all, what the fucking fuck!!!! I�m hooking the fucking thing up. Then it occurred to me, hmm, maybe I should unplug and plug in the thingie that goes into the back of the computer tower. So, I got down on my hands and knees (there�s a mind picture for ya) and crawled under the desk to check shit out down there.
Heh. If you haven�t already figured it out (like 7 paragraphs ago if you�re wicked smart) here is where I finally get to use the phrase �user interface problem�. Uh, yeah, the printer was not plugged into the tower. Hence, the computer telling me from the start that it was �offline�.
Of course when I realized my awesomely stupid mistake, the first thing that went through my mind was an early bickering with Hub in which he asked, �Did you try re-starting the computer?� and I answered, �OF COURSE I RE-STARTED THE FUCKING COMPUTER!!! WHAT THE FUCK, DO YOU THINK I�M FUCKING RETARDED OR SOMETHING?!? THAT�S THE FIRST GODDAMNED THING YOU DO WHEN THERE�S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! ANY FUCKING MORON KNOWS THAT!�
Yeah, any fucking moron knows you check and see if everything�s plugged into the CPU too, except this one. User interface problem. I shared my moronic blunder with Hilda and swore her to secrecy.
We�re not even out of smoke yet and I�m all riled up. Well, I was pretty riled about the cash flow situation and how it really is due to Hub�s stupidity. I�m sorry, but I can�t apologize for being pissed about being this broke, and having to take my kids� money for basic necessities like gas and groceries. I get so sick of his fucking shit up and when I get pissed about it, I�M A BITCH. It�s infuriating.
Anyway.
Beavis has his buddy over this week. �Marc� and Beavis met three years ago in fourth grade. They were two peas in a pod from the git-go. Marc was the first friend Beavis openly admitted his ADHD and his being medicated for it to, as Marc was equally ADHD and absolutely unashamed of it. I would credit Marc for allowing Beavis to embrace his ADHD and celebrate it. Marc was also the first friend Beavis picked up from school with totally rockin� parents. Marc�s mom, Kim, and I got drunk together more than once.
After fourth grade, we moved out of the city to here, and Marc moved with his family to a town about a 45 minute ride away. They�ve remained friends since and Marc�s mom and I have traded off driving back and forth on school vacations.
This kid cracks my ass up. Kim called last night as Marc had forgotten his Adderall at home, and she was all worried about him. First of all, I think he forgot it on purpose (he confirmed this with me tonight) and second, I like him better unmedicated. (Adderall is the zombie-producing medication. Beavis tried it last summer and we both hated it. It totally took his personality away. Again, I digress).
Marc hasn�t been here since July. He�s done a bunch of growing. His voice has changed and he is really going to be one cutie pie when he gets older. Hopefully he and Beavis will still be friends when they�re 18. I can�t even believe I just typed that sentence. I need to be shot.
This kid looks like either a young Christian Slater or River Phoenix. I did a Google image search for River Phoenix and browsed all kinds of pics. I had just loved him and had forgotten what a cutie we lost when he died. (But I also remember being a little miffed at how he died, and how he�d always acted like he was Mr. Clean when he wasn�t anywhere near that). Anyway, I searched Christian Slater too, and I think Marc looks more like him.
Either way, this kid has a model face. Not so much strikingly handsome as just totally unique. Not that he�s not handsome. He and Beavis are quite a pair. I�ve been waiting to hear some good ADHD humor to share, but thus far I have nothing interesting. Except Marc saying he�s interested in Buddhism because he wants everybody to rub his belly and give him food. Uh-huh. You�re fine.
Anyway, here�s something that made me smile today, my front yard:
It makes me smile because it looks like a blast, they�re all happy and they are all OUTSIDE!!!!
Ciao!