"Your mom goes to college"
Fucking snow. I had this great, peaceful day planned. No OPK today, just mine and the boys had school. I was going to take Minnie and Mickey to the mall just to hang out, maybe have lunch or something. But no, we have to be expecting 5-8 inches of snow today. And they cancelled school! WTF! I swear I never had this many snow days when I was a kid, no matter how bad of a winter it was.
Anyway. I was reading Jennifer�s diary the other day, and she wrote about writing on bathroom walls, which reminded me of something I did a few months ago that I totally forgot to write about here (there�s a lot of funny shit that I space out about writing here, which is why I need to start carrying around a memo pad). I wrote the story in a note to her, which I just copied most of, since she enjoyed it so much I�m sharing it with everyone. Just another glaring example of my 12 year old-ness:
�When I went to Beavis's school for a parent teacher conference a few months ago, I had to use the bathroom. I got such a kick out of what was written on the walls, especially when I saw one of his buddy's names up there. So, in my best middle school handwriting, I wrote down my son's first and last names and "is sooooo hot!!!" with all hearts and stuff. Hee hee hee. Then I told him about it. He had to play stupid when girls were coming up to him saying, "I saw your name on the bathroom wall! Someone likes you!". And the poor kid had to think, "My mom wrote that" but he couldn't like say it or anything!�
Ya know what else I�ve never written about? For the past few months, my wittle angel baby Mickey�s favorite thing to say is �Butt Crack�. He says this all the time, everywhere, and usually when we�re in the company of professionals, ie; doctors and the like. Like when we went to his pediatric cardiologist in December, he felt it necessary to share his favorite word with everyone from the echocardiogram lady, the EKG lady, all the nurses and especially the doctor herself. He just randomly blurts it out, �my butt crack!!!�. Ask him his favorite word and he�ll say, �Butt Crack!�. I tried to get him to stop, but the more I told him not to say it, the more he said it, so I gave up. What would my redneck family be without a 4 year old shouting �butt crack� everywhere?
It�s okay though, I guess, because at that age, Beavis�s favorite word was �penis�. He was a bit more discreet about using it in front of professionals, but he was also way more hyper than Mickey is, so when he did blurt it out, it was loud. I can remember he�d be playing with his little buddies, running all over the place, having a ball and he�d just yell it out, �Penis!!!� for no reason.
Yeah, my boys have fucking Tourette�s or something.
Now, Beavis�s favorite word is �vagina�. He doesn�t blurt it out like he used to, he just says it, but he puts a different first letter on it, like �magina�, so he can say it and he thinks he won�t get shit for it.
Speaking of Beavis, that kid has been hit by puberty hard. Holy shit. Like overnight, man. He went to Boy Scout camp for two days and came back and his voice is lower than when he left. And his hands are hanging way down below his knees. With that and the peach fuzz, he does look kind of like a monkey. Maybe �ape� is more appropriate. I feel kind of bad for him, but he still has retained his good looks. He�s not all geeky like I remember some guys being at that age. Not yet, anyway. But, really, how can he be geeky when he has a cool mom like me?
I bought �Napoleon Dynamite� yesterday. The boys keep talking about this movie like it�s the funniest thing ever, so I was dying to see it. Here�s where my age shows. I was not impressed. At all. To me, it was just about some retard kid that really needs to get a fucking clue. He annoyed me from the beginning. But I can see why the younger folks would like it. I�ll probably watch it again to give it another chance. (I did that with �Trainspotting�, which I hated the first time I watched it, and now is one of my favorite movies ever).
I also bought two of the CDs on my wish list, STP�s �Core� and GNR�s �Appetite for Destruction�, which I am very excited about. I keep thinking of crazy shit from listening to �Appetite�, like the way me and my girls would take hearing �Sweet Child of Mine� on the radio before going out to mean that we were going to have a great night (it had to be randomly played on the radio, though, I couldn�t pop in my cassette version of the same album and have that count). Or the way we loved the line from �Welcome to the Jungle�: �when you�re high you never, ever want to come down�. You know, since we were always fucking high.
But anyway, this is really too bad. I often wonder what would make someone like that kill themself. (Or "themselves"? But that doesn't sound right, either. Grammar is not exactly my strong point, in case you haven't noticed).
I fucking hate this stupid keyboard shelf on this desk. It falls all the time. Piece of shit.
And blah, blah, blahdie blah. I�m going to take myself a nice steamy shower now.
Bah-bye!
Listening to: I do not know the name of the band or the song. Obviously, I'm listening to FNX again. Currently reading: "The Blue Nowhere" Jeffery Deaver. This is a damn good book already, and I'm on like chapter 7. Thinking about: That shower. And thanks for letting me know what "ese" means, that answered a long mystery for me. =)