Dip trip flip fantasia
It�s Monday and school vacation is over. I�m elated about it. Having four teenagers in the house this weekend (as Beavis had his buddy Mark over) is goddamned expensive. Here is a brief list of what I bought at the grocery store Saturday that was gone by Sunday morning:
--1 large bag of Sour Cream and Onion potato chips
--1 box of Little Deb �Cosmic Brownies� (not my kinda cosmic brownies, however)
--1 box of chewy granola bars
--1 full cookie jar of cookies
--1 gallon of milk
This is just a list of what they actually finished off. It does not include the things they finished off that were already here (that would be the cinnamon graham crackers, the Little Deb pecan twirls, the yogurt, and the fruit roll-ups), or what they left some of (like the cheese crackers) or what they ate at meals. Fucking pigs.
Hilda is so funny too. She�s a 12 cookie eating little pig who pretends at meals that she doesn�t eat very much. Pah-lease, girly girl, who are you fooling? First off, she�s no skinny-minny. Watch her at dinner and she acts like she�s anorexic. The second she�s in the kitchen by herself, wham! 12 cookies and two glasses of milk. She raids the Little Deb shit all night long. And for breakfast? I had to tell her that 10-15 French toast sticks is a little excessive and maybe you won�t actually need a full cup of syrup with that.
But her stinky little ass has gone back to her darling mother where she belongs and that�s just fine with me!
Speaking of her mother, Shauna, with the icky teeth (if you�ve read my �cast� page), Butthead described her teeth this weekend as looking like they are covered in raisins, which cracked me up because, well, number one it�s true, and number two, that�s his mother he�s talking about. The next day, Saturday, he dug some raisins out of the raisin bran and covered his teeth with them and walked around the house smiling at everyone! Holy crack my ass up. Right in front of Hilda, too, who doesn�t like people talking bad about her mom, but what the hell can she do when it�s Butthead, and Shauna�s his mom, too! (I have never, ever denied to anyone that I am still 12, so don�t blame me for laughing at my step son�s silly behavior).
I don�t trash their mom to them. I just keep my mouth shut. Except a few weeks ago I made some kind of negative remark about Hub�s ex-wives, while speaking to Butthead, and I quickly siad, �Geez, Butthead, I didn�t mean to insult your mom� and he said, �Yeah, I�m sure I look all broken up about it�. He has no respect for that woman at all, and goes to spend the weekend with her like every other month, maybe. He likes me better. =)
My dad heard from Ned on Friday. He went to court and got 90 days, which could get reduced if someone can vouch that he�s got a job. I think he wanted Hub to do that, but when my dad mentioned it to Hub, Hub said, �Looks like he�s staying in jail�. Ned also said to my dad (this is funny, really funny), �The judge is starting to be really harsh�. Ya think maybe, idiot? Perhaps he�s sick of seeing you six times a year or whatever it is. Because you do dumb shit that most people would get bailed out on PR for and get a fine for or a suspended sentence, but you keep doing it over and over and over again. My dad said pretty much what I just did to him, but Ned wasn�t hearing it.
Funny too. My friend �Scottie� from the Sean story? He�s up there too (driving shit, don�t fuck around with driving shit here in my state, because you�ll do time) and sharing a cell with Ned. Too fucking much. I can�t wait to see Scottie (he�s out in two weeks) and get the scoop on Ned.
I�m one of the few women I know, that knows or has known Scottie, that hasn�t slept with him. I�m serious. Just so you know.
Also, I�m going to Aruba in September. The kids are not. I just felt like stating that again. I might just get a job down there and stay. And oh by the way, you have to be careful when buying weed down there because some of those guys on the street are undercovers. I have been doing my research. I will know everything about that island before I go. Watch.
Maybe I�ll get one of those counters and put it here, to countdown the time until I leave. Ah, obnoxious, yes, but I�m excited as all hell. I�ve never been to such a great place, and I�ve never gone anywhere far away without visiting family.
Anyway, FNX had a great �Leftover Lunch� today. It all started with Men Without Hats, �Safety Dance�--cuz your friends don�t dance and if they don�t dance, then they�re no friends of mine! And A Flock of Seagulls, �Space Age Love Song�, and The Waitresses �I Know What Boys Like�, and best of all, INXS, �The One Thing�. I can picture the video right now. And from the 90�s they played Portishead, the name of the song I can�t remember (and it would be so easy to go upstairs and look at my CD), but the one that goes, �Nobody loves me, it�s true, not like you do�. And another song, and this one I can�t even think of the name of. It�s circa 1994, I�d say, and is a rap type song, but not hip-hop, and the guy says �dip trip flip fantasia�. DUH! Forgetting I have the internets right here on my computer, it�s US3, �Cantaloop�. Good tune.
And that�s all I�ve got today. Well, now I�ve got hungry little rugrats begging for popcorn. Oh well, I want popcorn too.
Later!