"What are you gonna do about it? You think anyone's gonna believe you? You think anyone gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me. I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack of monkey shit, a

My first entry as a locked up diary. Somehow not as exciting as I�d envisioned.

I weighed in at Weight Watchers last night for the first time in 3 weeks. I�d actually lost a little under a pound, and I�m still hovering 4 pounds over goal, but still I think that�s pretty damn good considering I haven�t been tracking or even frickin� trying for that matter. And when I think about it, I�m getting close to a year since I hit goal (last July), and I haven�t gained that much. I can lose that 4 this week and be back at goal. So, I�m basically maintaining for a year, that�s pretty fucking good. I�ve seen other Lifetime Members gain a bunch back within 6 months, and then they�re struggling to lose again. Fuck that shit. Homey don�t play that.

After the meeting, I went to Robert and Rhonda�s for a few. Robert bumped into a good deal on smoke so he hooked us up. We haven�t had any all week and I�ve been relying on what Smokey used to call �OP�s (other people�s). That�s a sad state of affairs. Anyway. They invited us up to Cheryl and Lou�s on Saturday to watch the race and get drunk. Cheryl and Lou�s was the location of the infamous New Year�s Eve party, just so you know. I�m all for it, seeing as we haven�t been out since fucking February. (Instead of �since�, I typed �sine�, and spellchecker didn�t even fix it. What the fuck is �sine�?).

Yeah. Til I got home and found out that Butthead isn�t going to be here this weekend, he�s going to help his grandfather open up his camp. Argh. Why does he always leave on the weekends that I want him here? And vice versa? So we�re stuck with no sitter. WTF. I�ve thought about leaving them with Beavis, but I�m just not cozy with that idea. Plus Hilda is coming back up this weekend (oh yeah, she loves it here now, did I mention that? I guess sitting in a house full of smoke and watching tv, as that is all they do at her mom�s, is not her idea of fun). I�m tempted to go by myself. But of course it�s a �couples� thing.

Although, their friend J (as in �Jay�, I�m sooooo incredibly creative with the nicknames, no? From now on all new names are real ones, because I�m locked now!) of the sexy eyes is newly single and what fun that would be if he went. I�d get in so much fucking trouble. Holy moley.

Anyway, that�s a suck job, no babysitter. Such is the bane that is my existence.

My bro Ned is not in jail. My dad checked out his homeless hangout, �The Gathering Place�, yesterday when he was in town, and he was there as of Tuesday. So, I guess I should say he wasn�t in jail as of Tuesday. Tomorrow�s payday, so I�m sure he�ll suddenly find a way to get in touch then.

And Dick has been calling. I am taking the kids to Field�s Grove park to see him tomorrow afternoon. Me and Robert talked about him last night too, and I�m glad I did, as Robert reminded me how Dick is. He�ll be around for a bit before he goes down again. Which I know, I know. At least the kids are used to him not being around, so their lives won�t be too thrown off when he disappears again.

He�s already sounding like he�s coming off of manic and going into depression. He called this morning to say that he saw his newly ex girlfriend Lorri with my old pal Scottie. There�s a recipe for a new veneral disease if I�ve ever seen one (�Herpes, you keep that shit forever like luggage. AIDS kills Motherfuckers, AIDS. Next thing you know, you�ll just put your dick in and it explodes. The girl will be sitting on the bed saying, �Maybe I should go see a doctor about this�� Gotta love Eddie!). But he�s all broken up about it, and plus I told him how Lorri was the reason my friend Gina and her 1st husband got divorced and he confronted her on it. She�s been around the block once or twice or a million times. Anyway so now he calls me to vent about it. Which is funny, because I don�t know what to say except, �Yeah, I heard she was slutty like that before you even knew her�. And what good can that do?

As far as my own relationship, animosity and hatred are currently being repressed until further notice, when they blow up again. Which will be soon. Last night, he said, �I do worry a lot, you know, about losing you�. Gee, why would you do that? Because it�s getting to be more of a reality? I said, �Then maybe you should try listening to me�. Know what he said to that? Huh? He said NOTHING.

�I�m really worried about losing you, but I�m too tired to make any effort to try to keep you. Hopefully if I keep throwing money at you, you�ll stay. Maybe I�ll buy you something nice for Mother�s Day and that�ll shut you up for a while. If I keep making you go ooooooooooooooooooooo, then you�ll stay.� That�s what I picture going through his thick skull. I�m sure it doesn�t sound like that exactly in his head, it�s more like �pushing a rock, pushing a rock, pushing a rock� (That�s from America�s Funniest home Videos, remember when Bob Saget was doing that show? Dumb dog pushing a rock with his head, and that�s what they dubbed over it).

He was just here and I got to hear five head splitting minutes of everything his old boss did to fuck over his customers and now he�s fixing everything. He built a waterfall for these people last year (that cost like $70,000, can you imagine? Having the bucks to spend on a fucking waterfall? I can think of lots of shit I�d do with 70K, and a waterfall certainly ain�t one of them) and his boss bought the wrong pump and sensor equipment, and now the thing doesn�t work. So they�re a bit pissed, and they want it fixed. So I got to hear the whole re-hash again. Blah, blah, blah.

You know, I haven�t forgotten the pic requests. I just have to do some digging and I just haven�t had the chance.

But I do have a pic of my Beavis in his new glasses! They came in yesterday and when I informed him they were in, life stopped until we could go down to the place and pick them up. Then Butthead said he looks gay. So when I asked to take his pic in them, he said, �I look gay in them�. I said, �So! What�s wrong with looking gay? Gay guys have incredible fashion sense. They look damn good. So, if you look gay, you look good. Now smile�.

He�s so cute. And he gave me a hug the other day. And he�s taller than me now by an inch. And that happened like in the course of three weeks.

My head hurts. Five beers in two hours is not a good idea. This was a lame entry because of it too. I�m everywhere. Sorry.

Peace out, yo.

Listening to: Willy Wonka, WIlly Wonka...

Currently reading: "Quickbooks Fundamentals". I should have read it first. I've fucked some shit up. Oopsie.

Thinking about: My aching head.