Jackie's World
It was gorgeous out yesterday afternoon. Gorgeous! I spent the afternoon outside with the kids. All of them. Minnie, Mickey, The I want Kid, Bobby, Cindy and Andrea�s two kids.
There�s only one way to stand it. First, make a quick trip to the upstairs bathroom and take a few hits off the glass pipe. Trust me this is needed when Bobby and Cindy are here.
Then, I set up headquarters at my favorite place in the world, my outside table. HQ requirements: snacks, water, napkins, camera (not pictured on account of the fact that it's taking this pic), cell phone, book (that barely gets read on such afternoons, but I have it anyway):
And I kick back:
I watched Mickey play with a bug, endlessly fascinated:
He�s so cute it kills me. (Oh, and this bug was later squished by the same boy who was so entranced by it).
Of course, if you take pictures of one kid, you get others begging to have their�s taken. The infamous �I want� kid (aka Bailey):
And this is Cindy. The shirt says, �I may be the smallest, but I�m the BOSS!�. Not at my fucking house, kid.
I let them play this slide game until they got out of control with it. The boy in red is Bobby, aka Lucifer. And Minnie always has her butt crack hanging out. She thinks it�s cool.
This was adorable, they set up a little band and made music with sticks and stuff. Bobby pouted the whole time because he didn�t want to play it. I�m talking like half an hour to forty-five minutes of pouting and making that loud sigh of impatience. I ignored the little motherfucker the whole time.
When Beavis came home, he played with Andrea�s son, Colin. Colin is just like Beavis was at one year old. Busy, busy, busy and into fucking everything. If you look close, you might see the ring of dirt around his little mouth. Yummy dirt, good fiber!
This is from Wednesday, taken exclusively for diary land. I forgot to upload it yesterday. The Dukkha short bus:
I saw this guy on Comedy Central yesterday, Charlie something. He does this thing called Planet Charlie, and he describes what life is like on Planet Charlie (like, �On Planet Charlie, all strippers are also certified cable technicians to ensure they�ll be on time�). This reminded me of a friend I had back in Jamestown, NY, Norma. Norma was from West Virginia and lived in a world of her own. We used to randomly describe Norma�s world.
�In Norma�s world, the tip is always included�. �In Norma�s world, anyone can get a driver�s license� (She was a fucking scary driver. Shit your pants scary).
Anyway, so sitting out there yesterday afternoon, I made up some rules for Jackie�s world.
In Jackie�s world, kids are ALWAYS seen and not heard.
In Jackie�s world, weed never runs out.
In Jackie�s world, the sky is always blue.
In Jackie�s world, the sun is always shining.
In Jackie�s world, all the men want me. Bad.
In Jackie�s world, beer is free. (And calorie free too).
In Jackie�s world, Adam Yauch and Elton John are the co-bosses of the world. (I had a tough time on this one. I had them as prez/vice-prez, but couldn�t decide who would be what. So I just made them co-bosses of the world).
In Jackie�s world, there are no commercials.
In Jackie�s world, you CAN make all of the people happy all of the time. (This makes business much easier).
In Jackie�s world, you can wear flip flops and sandals with everything, all year round.
In Jackie�s world, the neighbors don�t have any kids. And they have no problem with mine.
In Jackie�s world, summer vacation is ONLY for grown ups. We get out of work but the kids have extended days at school.
In Jackie�s world, EVERYTHING is easy.
It�s a wonderful place, Jackie�s world. I�m buying a one-way ticket.
Anyway, that�s it for today. Have a lovely weekend, all!
Adios!
Listening to: "Here's the mail it never fails it makes me wanna wag my tail when it comes I wanna wail, MAIL!" Currently reading: "Stalker" Faye Kellerman Thinking about: Seeing Dick today. Big guilt trip expected, about what happened FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO.