"How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?"

This morning has been kinda suck ass.

Not that this is the suckiest thing, but the I want kid showed up in a fucking halter top and shorts. Cute outfit, but, hello! It�s only supposed to be 60 degrees outside today, and even if you don�t watch the Weather Channel like a freak as I do, you�d think you�d notice that it�s only like fucking 40 degrees right now. I made the girl get changed, making her do it herself cuz sorry, you�re big enough to! And she�s still in the bathroom struggling, whining, �I need help�. Too bad. You�re old enough to dress yourself. Funny how she can play dress up with no help. I had to listen to her mommy trying to talk her into taking her shoes off: �Bailey, do you want to take your shoes off? Or keep them on? Honey? What do you want to do? Do you want to keep your shoes on? Honey? Take them off? What do you want to do?�. Okay, if she�s staying in, they come off, that�s the rule. No fucking choices. And mom was arguing with her, she needed to leave for work, and Bailey was whining, and she�s saying, �Bailey, I need to go�Mommy needs to go to work�okay, one kiss, Mommy needs to go�okay, a hug, Mommy needs to go�I�ll see you tonight, honey, I promise�okay, a kiss�okay, Mommy needs to go�� This kid rules everything at home, and that�s goddamn ridiculous. Everything as Bailey wants. Fuck that shit.

Okay enough about that. She managed to dress herself, btw.

This morning started out crappy. I was up and showered by 5:30, and I figured, �Hey! I�ve got an hour before any kids get up, so I can get a shitload of stuff done in peace�. I came downstairs, cleaned the bathroom (still smells like piss though, I have yet to make it to the pet store for the animal stank stuff), washed the bathroom floor (love the swiffer wet jet!), swept the kitchen floor, went upstairs to put away clean towels and Hub was up. Whoa, at 6 am? To what do I owe the pleasure?

No sooner was he up, than he wakes the boys up. Argh. And then all the little ones. I had a half hour before they really needed to get up, a half hour that I could accomplish just as much as I had in the first half hour, and it�s like he just HAD to fucking ruin that. I was so pissed.

So, I was feeling pissed, and I said, �Oh, by the way, if Dick does take the kids this weekend, I�m going to take some ME time, which means you�ll have to have Daisy. If I don�t have Minnie and Mickey, and Beavis is supposed to go to a friend�s, then I�d like some peace and quiet if you don�t mind�. He says, �WHATEVER� with total attitude. Fuck you and your whatever. I said how I just needed a break, I have kids 24/7 and I�d like a break if I can get one. �Whatever, I�ll just take her to work with me, I won�t burden you with her anymore�, which is NOT what I was trying to say, I just want a break, and I want him to recognize what I do around here and that YES HONEY YOU DO DESERVE A BREAK. I said, �You know, you don�t have to be all attitude about it, I do a lot around here and I�d just like some time to myself without having to listen to �WHAT TIME ARE YOU GOING TO BE HOME?�� (which is the shit he pulled on me last night on my Wednesday night out, which I spent a bunch of that time shopping for his daughter�s birthday present, but don�t take too long hurry up and come home cuz I�m a big fat wuss who can�t be home alone with the kids for any longer than I have to).

So he says, �Yeah cuz I do nothing around here�. Totally turns it around to being about him, as usual. I said, �I didn�t say that, I didn�t say anything about you doing nothing around here, I just would like a little show of appreciation, a little less being taken for granted for what I do here, and if you can�t stop and listen to me and stop taking me for granted, then you won�t have a marriage to worry about for much longer�.

And he slammed the door and left. Swell.

(You know I just re-read the paragraphs about Hub and my conversation this morning, and I�m all talking about just �me me me� too. So, I suppose I�m no better than him. Whatever. It�s how I feel. Me, me, me).

So, then I had to drop off Daisy (which, The Douchebag told him last night to drop her off at his sister Tara�s, and he didn�t ask why even, just �okay� like a doofus. I swear he�s scared shitless of her, he just thinks she going to tell him it�s none of his business so why ask? Anyway I asked Tara why I was dropping Daisy off there and she said it was cuz The Douchebag was watching her baby granddaughter who she just got custody of last Friday and she doesn�t have a sitter for yet and in return Tara would drop off Daisy and her brother at school. Big secret). As I was coming back home, he chirps me and goes right into Milton mode:

�FInd out what we owe out in bills so we can pay it off because I�m just going to finish the spring clean ups and then just do the mowing and enough work for me and Butthead and then next year kjlfj fsdfslfj fkdjfefjsl alkjffldk lskjjs because I�m not doing this anymore and so find out what we owe out so we can get out of debt�

Now you have to remember that on the chirp-chirp, you have to wait until the other person stops talking before you can say anything. My husband can go on forever talking, he�s like an old lady. Or more like ten. So, when he was done, I asked him to clarify, and he ges all back into the same thing, adding that next year he�s going back to work for someone else, this is not worth his marriage, blah blah blah.

So, that�s his quick fix solution, quit the business. Yes, brilliant plan. And so completely unrelated to what I was trying to get through to him. I�ll admit that it is a big stressor right now, but is not the root of the problem, and he just can�t see it. So, go and blow your business but it will not fix the real issues one bit and your marriage is going to end anyway.

Whatever.

So, I was going to start off good after the Weight Watchers meeting last night (stayed the same) and eat better this week, as I�ve been slacking A LOT lately, and I don�t even deserve to be the same weight I was last week. Yup. Until I ate those two breakfast burritos. Moo!

Bobby and Cindy didn�t come over yesterday, which was a delightful surprise. I can�t say that I hate when that happens. But today I have no such luck. Oh well. It�s only four hours. �Only�, heh.

What can I eat now?

I got our cell phone bill the other day. I�m not sure if I mentioned this, but Hub�s plan is for 1200 minutes, mine is for 300. I still get a kick out of that. Anyway, our totals for the month? Hub used 1593 minutes. Me? 12. I shit you not. Of course, I did use 222 chirp chirp minutes, which was just a little less than Hub�s 270. I think, though, that my very favorite part of the bill was the �directory assistance� charges originating from Hub�s phone. $106.40. I couldn�t believe my motherfucking eyes, but sure enough, there were 76 directory assistance calls listed. He said, true to form, �But I needed to call people and places to get prices�. But I need. But I need.

But I need a fucking lobotomy. Anyway, the hour of the devil�s spawn is getting closer. I must complete my chores so that I can be 100% available for surveillance. Meaning that I plan on spending my four delightful hours right up those kids butts.

Adios!

Listening to: Commercials on the radio.

Currently reading: "lost boy lost girl" Peter Straub

Thinking about: What to make for lunch for the kids.