"Who the fuck are you, shitwad?"
Finally relaxing after a very busy 24 hours. Thank God. Really, I should now be preparing supper for the family, or at least getting the damn tank to the grill refilled, but I�m pooped. So fuck it.
Honey Mustard and Onion flavored pretzel pieces. Fucking yummy. �Bursting with flavor� is fuckin� a right.
So, uh, yeah, Jackie got her drink on last night. And went OUT. Yes, that�s right, Hub and I went out for the first time in 3 months. And it was fun, too!
Yesterday at around 6:00 or so, Robert chirped over to Hub inviting us out to the club for a few drinks. I was on beer #2 so I was all for it. We were to meet them at around 8:30. I cranked out supper and clean up and baths in record time. Of course Hub was late coming home, but that�s par for the course with him.
Oh and you know what, I had the camera with me all night and took all kinds of pics but to upload them to dland I have to resize them and save them and all that shit and I�m just too fucking lazy for that right now. I did put some up at Flickr.
Butthead and Hilda stayed with the kiddos. Oh! Oh! Their mom is getting a divorce, her husband is moving out or already has, something like that. They got married a year ago in February (on the 29th, they did that on purpose), had a baby a year ago (on St Pat�s Day). This is her first marriage since she was married to Hub. I mean how could it not work with dates like those anyway? Shauna goes through men like underwear. Now she�s 34 years old, got four kids with three different guys, and up shit�s creek again. With nasty, nasty rotten teeth. Holy shit. Like health threatening nasty. I�d have had them yanked a long time ago.
I�m dying to know why, Hub said Butthead knows and made a hand gesture alluding to money but wouldn�t say cuz Hilda was there. I asked Hilda a little bit about it this morning, and when I asked her if she was upset about it she said, �No. I�m used to it�. And I noticed that all of a sudden, a few weeks ago, she was all into coming here a lot more. She got the shit end of that whole deal. Shauna�s a piece of work. I was going to link to her yahoo profile, but she took her pic down.
Mark my words, she will have a new man within weeks. By the summer at the latest. Watch!
Anyway, wasn�t I talking about my night?
I was feeling great by the time we got to the club around 9:00. We hung with Robert and Rhonda and Cheryl and Lou, and saw Hub�s sis Lily and her husband Armand, too. Rhonda was on the fucking phone a lot, and her friend Carolyn was there, too. Well, I�m in the loop on the secret that yet again, Rhonda is cheating on Robert. She was one of the women I wrote about when I wrote the entry about the infidelity bug. Anyway. Robert totally doesn�t deserve it at all, and that sucks.
So, they were getting ready to leave and Rhonda was saying when they got home that she was going to Carolyn�s and Robert FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. I�ve known Robert for more than 15 years and I�ve never seen him get upset. He is so laid back and non-confrontational, I mean way worse than me. And I don�t blame him one bit for being so pissed, I�m sure that he knows something is up. WTF, if I had to choose sides, I�d pick Robert in a heartbeat. He is such a good guy, I love him to death.
Anyway, so they left and we hung with Cheryl and Lou for a while, but when they left, we had to cuz neither of us are members. So we went in the van a puffed a fatty with them and then we headed out.
We weren�t done for the night, we wanted to go to another bar but didn�t know where. I�m always partial to the same place, Martha�s Exchange, but Hub stopped at the first bar we saw, Nick�s Sports Bar. It�s kind of a dive.
Well, for some reason, when we got there, I was all set with beer and asked for 7&7. This is very unusual for me. The only way I usually drink hard liquor is in shots, or something tasty. Well, the 7&7 were tasty and just might be my new bar drink.
Of course in a semi dive bar we were bound to know people there and of course we did. I was smashed by the time we got there, btw. I saw this guy I knew in high school who was fucking spent in the 10th grade and didn�t remember me at all. I remember making conversation with everyone there, and some being disappointed I was married. Someone put a peppermint pattie in my jacket pocket and I don�t remember who.
All the way home, I took the most useless pics. I cranked the music way too loud and generally irritated the shit out of Hub.
When we got home, Hilda and Butthead were asleep in the living room. I took pictures of them, too. They are up at Flickr.
Anyway, Beavis wasn�t home cuz he went to a dance and then slept at a buddy�s house. Some girl, an eighth grader, asked him to dance and they danced to every slow song after that. Even fucking �Stairway to Heaven�. They still play that at dances! When I was in junior high, that and �Freebird� were totally mandatory songs to play. And �Wipeout� aka �Pee Wee�s Big Shoe dance�. Anyway, he got her number. Beavis might have a chickie poo! Note to self: buy a big box of condoms.
So Hub and I went to bed and attacked each other. I�m a wild fuck while drinking. A regular pig. Anyway. Here�s what happened, Dukkha�s stupid drunk move.
We were going at it like crazy (according to Hub, �I was fucking the shit out of you�) and I peed! I PEED THE BED IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX. Who the fuck does that? It was stop the sex, tear off the sheets, wash the mattress, spray with disinfectant, and flip the mattress over pee. Lots. Hee hee.
Ya know, normally, that�s the kind of shit that would have me all ashamed of myself, and ready to quit drinking. But now, eh. Whatever. It�s kind of funny if you think about it. I�ve done some stupid shit drunk. Not even counting the multitude of one night stands. A lot of whom were pretty fucking hot, so no regrets.
One time, round about 1993 when I was about 22 years old, Smokey had this buddy he worked with named Chris. He was a hottie. Damn. I wanted to hook up with him bad. So, one night, there was a party, and it was me and Smokey and Chris going. Here�s my night to try to hook up with this guy, right?
Yah. First, I got really drunk. No biggie. Then, as I sat outside on a lawn chair, I basically just turned my head a bit and puked on the lawn. Nice. But it gets better.
Now, I knew I needed to rest, so I went out to the car (which was either Chris�s or Smokey�s, I can�t remember whose) and passed out in the passenger seat. Well, who showed up but Hudson�s finest. Smokey and Chris were just coming to the car, and the cops were asking them questions, then they saw me, all passed out in the front seat, so they asked if I�d been drinking and fucking Smokey said no.
Well, what did I do at that precise moment? Puked all over myself. Right in front of the cops! Duh! And that Chris! Bye bye, chances of hooking up!
Yeah, that was stupid. I�m a puker. But I didn�t puke last night, I peed! Yey!
But I do feel more like a teenager or college student than a 34 year old, married mom and business owner. Oh fucking well! Deal with it! I�m a drunk. Here I sit, drinking beer right now.
So taday, today was fucking busy as all hell, too. First, I slept a little late (7:30, dammit, there goes the day), then took a shower and then Rhonda called. Yak yak yak. I got off the phone with her and Smokey called.
This is what he said, �Guess where I am now! At the credit union, cashing my check, and today is your lucky day because I am totally willing to let you have me over AND get me cooked�. He�s too funny. So he came over, telling me all about Star Wars and showing me the pics he took with his camera phone. �Dude, he gets wiped out in that movie, WIPED OUT, Jackie!�. I can�t wait to see it.
Which has turned into a big event. Originally it was going to be just me and my three, But then we had Hilda. And Hub wants to go. And then I talked to Nina and she said my nephew wants to come hang out, so I said I�d take him to the movie, and I can�t not take his little bro Josh, so he�ll be going too. Not sure yet about Butthead. But, yeah, another fucking $100 trip to the movies. I�m skipping the popcorn and drinks and shit. Fuck that!
So, I finally got the fuck out of the house and ran to the grocery store with Hilda and the three little ones, because by then The Douchebag had dropped off Daisy who wanted to spend the day with Hilda (it was Hilda�s 14th b-day this week). Then, I had to run to Litchfield to get my camera from Hub.
I lent him the camera which is supposed to be �our�s� but I claimed as �mine� because I love taking the pictures so much and because he fucking breaks everything. I told him when I handed it to him how important it was to me and please don�t break it, it couldn�t be fixed, I didn�t want him to think that he could just buy me a new one and everything would be fine because it wouldn�t.
Anyway, so I grabbed the kid�s some McD�s and let them eat in the car during the ride out there which is something I never do but I was pressed for time.
Came home, put away groceries, ate my salad and then we left again for the house Lily is staying at taking care of an assload of kids. They have a hot tub, so the kids went hot tubbing. It was too cold for me, I couldn�t even think to get in there.
Lily has these two foster kids, Anthony and Christian. The foster kid thing always makes me a little sad, poor little kids whose parents have whatever deals they have, and no other family to care for them. These little guys� mom is some kind of fuck up. Her rights were just terminated. Two boys, four potential daddies. Christian is autistic, just diagnosed this week. He�s three. Anthony, oh my god. What a total fucking sweetie pie. He�s four. You can tell he�s a little slow, but so so so sweet. He saw my camera from across the yard and started saying, �Cheese! Cheese! Take a picture of me!� . Then he was running around doing different stuff saying, �See me do this!� instead of �look at me�. It was so cute. I want to adopt him. Lily has them for a year, and when they�re gone, I�ll miss them! See, here they are (I uploaded this one, at least). Anthony is in the grey. Cutie Patootie!!!
Anyway, that house was chaos. Lily and her two foster kids, the four foster kids she was providing respite for, and the foster mom�s daughter and her two kids. Plus Hub�s niece Alicia was there with her two kids and her niece Alexis. Kids everywhere! Holy moley!
Then it was time to drop Daisy off and come home, at which point, I expired. I�m pooped.
OMG and, and that blast from the past on myspace wants to grab a cup of coffee and catch up. Uh, yeah, I�m safe as long as it�s coffee and not alcohol! And he thinks I look pretty hot. How can one hate that? Not me.
I�ll be good. I promise.
Anyway, time for me to get off of here.
May the force be with you.