"If you're not with me, you're my enemy".

Regarding my title today, that�s a quote from Anakin Skywalker in the new Star Wars. It�s also a quote (though not verbatim) from someone else we all know and love. Well, I don�t love him, anyway.

Okay, for all of those who asked, I can assure you that I what I did the other night was pee and not a squirting orgasm. For one, I just don�t have that kind of vagina (Ew! I said Vagina!), as much as I would like one. For two, I was completely wasted and I have trouble having an orgasm when I�m drunk. I used to think it was impossible but Hub fixed that, although it doesn�t happen often. I definitely peed.

We went to see Star Wars yesterday and it was awesome! Holy shit! I wanted to come home and put on Jedi clothes and play with light sabres in the back yard. And Anakin Skywalker? Fucking smoking hot, man. Scha-wing! And of course in keeping with my taste for bad boys, the closer he got to going to the Dark Side, the hotter he got. I swear there�s something wrong with me. (I should note that Hilda thought the same thing, so there�s another girl who�s going to have a thing for bad boys). Of course, towards the end of the movie he�s not so hot anymore (but kind of hot, just not in the same way!). I�m going back without the kids, maybe Wednesday night. They were pretty good, but there were four potty trips (yes! Four! Fuckers! One for every stinking kid 7 or under, despite having asked around EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. someone else had to go) and multiple requests for candy or whatever else.

We came home an immediately popped in Star Wars Episode Four, which to me is and always will be THE FIRST ONE, even though technically it�s not the first in the story but it�s the first one that came out, dammit. Wow, so much more shit made sense, it was cool how it all ties in. It was cool seeing how Luke gets those droids and meets up with Obi-Wan. And to think, us old people saw that whole first movie without knowing that Darth Vader is Luke�s dad.

I�m really not a geek, I swear.

I spent yesterday and this morning just as busy as I was Saturday. I had a flat tire the past two mornings in a row, so I ended up getting four new tires this morning. I knew I needed them, I hadn�t gotten new ones since I got the van two years ago. I also am going to need new bearings whatever the hell they are. Yey. That fucking van. I had my Cavalier for 8 fucking years with barely any problems and this thing gives me a fucking headache. The gas gauge is completely fucking retarded, the back windshield wiper doesn�t work, the brakes squeak (which, Hub assures me is fine since he just changed the brakes a few months ago but hello! When are squeaking brakes okay?), and now this bearing thing. I�ll bet is has something to do with Hub driving it. I�ll bet it�s him. That or it�s a POS. Oh well only three more fucking years to pay on it. No biggie.

Now, I�ve got Andrea�s kids, it�s a cloudy, rainy crappy day and I�m eating like a pig. Andrea�s Memere brought over a bunch of baked goods and I could not have been happier to see them. I really need to stop. I need to stop eating like shit and I need to start getting some exercise before I really start to pack the weight back on. Moo. Plus I�m all bloated and shit.

Butthead had no scoopage on what happened with his mom and step-dad. He did say they fought a lot about money. This guy works at a gas station, like an assistant manager. Not exactly a cash cow, which I think is really what Shauna is looking for. She doesn�t work, she collects SSI for her third kid, Andrew (he�s 10), who is handicapped. That is her sole means of support, and before she got married it was like $1200 a month. She lived off it. I don�t know, but that doesn�t sound right to me. From what I understand, that money is supposed to be for the benefit of the kid who�s on it, and while housing him and shit is to his benefit, what about everything else she buys with it? Are her cigarettes to be considered for his benefit? Ya know? Anyway, she got married and they cut her SSI checks like majorly, down to like $500 a month, but then her husband Howard got promoted from cashier to assistant manager and the checks went down even more. So they had money stresses. Hub thinks too that she was probably already on the internet hooking up. She�s a piece of work, that�s all I can say.

Funny, too, the father of her third kid, the handicapped one, was in love with her for years even after they broke up. They were spending a lot of time together when she was first pregnant with the kid she has with her husband, and Dave even helped Shauna in her fucked up little restraining order against Hub based upon bullshit scheme, until she married Howard and then he was all hurt and pissed off.

Well, then he starts working at this flower shop and meets this co-worker who becomes his girlfriend and then suddenly, out of nowhere (through some sort of unexpected inheritance), this chick ends up fucking rich! Like near to if not a million bucks. Suddenly Dave is getting married and living high on the hog and oh yeah, NOT WORKING!

Too funny. Funny, too, the way that Shauna met her husband when he was the manager of a Cumberland Farms up in Bristol, and she even worked there for a little while. But money was just like mysteriously disappearing, in the thousands, and Howard got fired. The way Hilda explained it was that he wasn�t a good manager because he couldn�t stop the workers from stealing the money. Come on! HE was the one stealing it, dingy! And shortly after Shauna was let go too. Nice, huh? Nice. I swear, when I find one, I�ll post a pic of her. She�s charming.

Hub and I have a bet on how quick she has another man. I say by the summer, he says she already has one. Piece of work! You should see the guys, though. Let�s just say, they are exactly the type you would expect to not care about the fact that the woman�s teeth are rotting right out of her head. (Trust me, my teeth are far from perfect--I�m half Brit remember--but Shauna�s are at a completely different level. Like Butthead described and demonstrated, like raisins on her teeth. I know I mention it like every time I write about her, but I�m telling ya! Ya know the scene in �Goldmember�, when Dr. Evil meets The Mole, and can�t stop staring at his huge mole? Ya get like that talking to her, and you just want to say �teeeeeeeth��).

Five paragraphs about Shauna. Nice. She�s interesting if nothing else.

The boys are due home any moment. Yey! Maybe they�ll want to go play Star Wars with me in the back yard! Maybe even the front yard! Yah right. I know I had more to write about, but I hate to write with them around, and it�s almost time for the 3:00 Feeding Frenzy.

Ciao!

Listening to: "Yellow" By who? I don't know. I don't even know if that's the name of the song, but he keeps saying it.

Currently reading: "The Heart of The Buddha's Teaching" Thich Nhat Hanh. Maybe I'll even finish it this time.

Thinking about: Putting Colin down for a nap. He's being all bitchy and shit. I know, he's only 14 months old, they can be bitches too