"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope".
Geez, a whopping sixty minutes before the boys get home and I haven�t started updating yet. Not that I haven�t been screwing off here on this here computer or anything. That and taking care of these kids and Hub even graced the house with his presence for about an hour. You have no idea how much that fucks up my day when he comes home. I mean, I don�t go and bug him at work, right? This is pretty much my work during the day. The kids, the books, the screwing off on the internet� I basically have a real job. And my boss is SO COOL! She has no problem at all when I surf the interweb or snack at my desk or anything!
Anyway. More Star Wars shit I forgot to mention. Fucking Butthead, homophobe extraordinaire, thought that Yoda and Chewbacca were �gay for each other�. Which is just ridiculous. Yoda and a Wookiee? How could that work? And besides, look at the age difference! Anyway, Butthead is constantly, constantly making gay references, and of course, everything stupid is �gay� and he likes to call people �faggot� which irritates the shit out of me. So, at supper the other night after the movie, he starts talking about Yoda and Chewie being gay. And I just calmly, almost half joking but not really, said, �Brent, I�m pretty much convinced right now that there is nothing you want more than a nice, big fat cock�. I had to spell out �cock� cuz of the kiddies, there are SOME words I don�t use around them. He didn�t get pissed at all, he just wanted to know why I thought that and I told him he�s far too preoccupied with homosexuality. He is, I�m telling you. I really don�t think he�s gay, though. Bi at best.
Yoda and Chewbacca. Sheesh.
Anyway, Beavis has a girlie! The one he danced with at the dance the other night. They�ve talked to each other on the phone every day since. (Yey! Another person for Beavis to talk on the phone with! Make it four hours a day instead of three now). Her name is Kelly and she�s in the 8th grade and she�s about 7 or 8 months OLDER than him. He can�t remember what color her hair is, even though he sees her at school, and she plays a lot of sports. When I referred to her as a jock, Beavis said, �Girls can�t be jocks, Mom�. Yah, okay. She�s also about as tall as him which is tall for a girl.
He went out into the shed to talk to her on the phone yesterday as apparently there is no �privacy� in our house, anywhere. Deal with it. I live with that fact every minute of the day.
I can�t believe he�s going to be 14 in a month. 14!!! I remember being 14 very well, and all the hell I put my dad through. I didn�t start all the drinking and drugging and actual sexual intercourse until I was 15, but I did some naughty shit at 14, too. Like running away. I ran away for two days and had a blast, except the part where I slept in my friend�s closet. That was uncomfortable. When I got bored I went home, and found out they�d called the cops. Oopsie. I gave them this whole big drama scene about being confused and wanting to find myself, which was total bullshit. I just wanted to hang out with my friends all night and skip school.
Which if Beavis tries that shit on me, I�ll kill him. But I do think our relationship is completely different than what I had with my dad. Not that it was bad, but it was severely lacking in communication.
Once he was old enough to understand I was joking, I�ve always kidded him about ruining my life. I think I saw someone saying that about their kid on a talk show or something and was just appalled that someone would even think that. So it became a joke between us, �You ruined my life by being born!�. Because in actuality, he definitely has improved my life, and did that just by being born, but that wasn�t him, either, was it?
He said that to me last night in Wally World, �I ruined your life�. I got all worried, like, oh no! He thinks it�s serious! But then he says, kinda chuckling, �Imagine if you were serious about that�. Like he wants to put on a white trash show at WW or something . Kid.
But he did share with me some fashion sense. It doesn�t matter where you buy pants or shorts. Who cares, he says. Shirts, sweatshirts and shoes have to be cool, but pants don�t matter. �Why spend $100 on pants you�re just going to outgrow anyway? Other kids say they last longer, but who cares if they last if they don�t fit anymore?�. He rocks. I guess I can live with the $80 DC Shoes and $52 Bam sweatshirts if he only wants to get $14.84 shorts.
Bah. I have nothing else, boys are due home momentarily, I gotta go.
Adios!