"I'm John." "Ohhhh, John. John who?" "John Cock... tos... ton."
Okay, now that Adelphia was gracious enough to give me my internet connection back, I guess I should update, ey?
Months ago, I signed up for an AudioBlogger account in case I wanted to post some voice or something. The opportunity came yesterday, when I bought a regular old answering machine (that voice mail shit isn�t working for me at all), and Beavis decided to fuck around with the outgoing messages. He left this one, of him doing this totally hilarious voice (like that guy on South Park, the hippie Vietnam Vet in the wheelchair with the artificial voice), which fucks up in the middle of the message because it strained his voice so much. OMG, all I could think was that I had to post that message here, it was so funny. I was in tears and not breathing, I was laughing so hard. I still am. I left it on there, telling friends who call me to call right back and listen to it, and they are dying too.
I figured, oh all my dland friends know what a retard I am, they�ll love this shit. LOVE it. Yeah. I don�t know what happened, but the damn phone number audioblogger gave me ain�t picking up. WTF? Like it�s not enough I had no internet this AM, now this. Goddamn it.
My computer is going in for service next Monday. I�ll be without random internet access until Tuesday, Wednesday the latest. Of course, we�ll still have the computer downstairs, so I�ll still see about updating at night or early AM, whenever I don�t have that munchkin Colin here.
Now I�ve got to go through this thing and get all the questionable shit off of here. Good lord. Deleting cookies and temporary internet files and such. And I must go through all that yahoo messenger shit, too. How fun. The guy who�s working on it is one of Hub�s pals, so you can see why this is necessary.
Now that I�m finally on here, I�m at a loss as to what to update about. Geez.
I really am ghetto, Jess, and that wasn�t the only pic I took of the poor girl who passed out at the concert. I only got one actual one of her on the stretcher, and that was as she was being carried out, from behind. I did not get her face on camera. I took about 70 pics that night, I was so damn bored. For example:
The guy that was sitting in front of me. I kept thinking, "I�ll bet you�re bored now, pal, you�re not on your boat".
When Beavis was sitting watching the fracas with the poor passed out girl, I kept snapping pics and his buddy next to him said, �Your mom takes a lot of pictures� and Beavis replied, �She has this photography thing�. He�s just so articulate.
I�m bummed that I couldn�t share his outgoing message with you all. The kid kills me.
Rod is going to be in shock this summer when he sees what a kick ass cool kid that Beavis is. Of course, he�ll probably dwell on Beavis�s lack of interest in athletics. Not that skateboarding and bike riding aren�t enough to keep fit or anything. It�s not like he�s not active, he is. He just doesn�t get into competitive sports and I accept that about him. Partly because he got that from me. Not that Rod was any kind of jocky type that I could remember. But whatever. He should just be thankful the kid wants anything to do with him at all.
Whatever. Enough about him. How about the other sperm donor?
I talked to Nina�s mom last Friday about why she actually threw him out of her house, which was basically because he was being his typical dink self, acting like he owned the place. She was trying to justify her side to me, and I told her point blank, �If there�s one person that you don�t have to explain the difficulties of living with him to, it�s me�. I don�t blame her. But I was mildly amused by her disclosure that a whole scene was started because Pat (Nina�s mom) and her boyfriend Joe went up to Nina�s to smoke some weed, and Nina�s boyfriend didn�t want Dick up there as he doesn�t like Dick at all. Being that he�s, well, a dick.
I can�t believe this person is 40 years old. He acts like he�s 12, I swear. I hope his psycho retard traits are strictly environmental and nothing that my kids will inherit genetically. They do get bent over some stupid shit, though, but I�m holding out on the hope that it�s just kid shit at this point.
He has been taking them to church with him every Sunday, though. They love it, too. I don�t mind the 2 hours of peace and quiet, either. I think for Dick, it�s like the one time a week that he can be, like, normal and spend time with the kids. And that�s good for all of them.
Until he starts shit with me again, which so far hasn�t happened but is bound to.
OMG, Coldplay �Speed of Sound�, yet again! Again! Don�t they get sick of playing this song?
Anyway, a nice steamy weekend ahead. I wish more swimming places were open but I�m not sure what is. Not going up to the beach again because we�ve got Daisy, and she�s too hyped up for me to drag all the way out there at the drop of a hat. Heh. I wrote �we�ve got Daisy� when we all know, �I�ve� got Daisy. Oh well. Me and my ex-wife The Douchebag, we make sure she�s taken care of.
Oh yeah, remember me writing about her getting a job recently? And Hub wouldn�t ask where because he thought she wouldn�t tell him? Ha. She mentioned getting a job on the phone to me, and she told me the whole story. She�d started at Old Navy but kept sending her home and cutting hours due to lack of business, so she went and got another job at a restaurant called Lui Lui�s. Gee, that was tough.
What a day for a beer! I could so go for one right now.
I�m so lame. I�ve got to go before the lameness spreads any further.
Mickey is acting like a big fat ass. Who wants him?
Ciao.