"If you have any poo, fling it now"

I just have to say that I find it very humorous that my picture on Flickr of the mutilated red squirrel on my trash can has gotten a bigger number of views in the few days it�s been up than most of my other pics. To think I�d thought that maybe people would be too repulsed by it. I have a great close up of the inside of it, dare I post it? It is truly disgusting.

Anyway, the big news today is that Hub and I had a big blow out last night. Well, not that big, it only lasted a few minutes but has resulted in our not speaking to each other. Which is fine with me because I just can�t deal with his horseshit any more.

I�ve been mentioning here and there how the business is failing, right? How we only have money to make payroll every week and that�s about it. How, the Worker�s Comp and liability insurance payments are due, never mind paying for materials and making the payment on the equipment, and it�s just not happening. I mentioned the numbers the other day here.

Anyway, I�ve made this clear to Hub as well. How I told him, if the insurance is cancelled, we�re done. At least I am. That dumbass would just keep running the business if he had his way, insurance or not. So he told me twice this week, not once, but twice, that he will let the guys go at the end of the week. I agreed with him that this was a good idea.

Well, he had mentioned to me last week that he had a kid starting Monday. I said, �We can�t afford what we have right now, and you want to hire someone else?�. His fucking response? �It�s only for like 25 hours a week�. HELLO?!? WE CAN�T AFFORD WHAT WE HAVE! That means, we can�t afford another 25 hours a week.

He is so stupid. I fucking hate him. Just thought I�d throw that in.

Anyway, I said, If you have to hire this kid, then I want an application and W-whatthefuckever filled out prior to his starting. He said, �I�ll have him come over Sunday�. Okay, fine. Sunday was the day he was home ALL FUCKING DAY doing the driveway with the Bobcat. No kid came to fill out an app, so I figured he got the clue about not having the money to pay for him and didn�t hire him. Of course, I couldn�t actually speak to him about it, as he was in that Bobcat all day, and for extra time I�m sure so that he could avoid me.

Which is fine, fucking avoid me. Because that means, I don�t have to deal with you and your stupid problems and excuses which irritate me to the point where all I have to hear is, �But I need�� and I want to throw myself right off the nearest bridge.

So. No mention all week of anyone new starting. Conversation times two regarding the fact that we can�t afford the help.

So, he walks in yesterday around 5:30 like fucking Superman with two checks. One for $1800 and one for $109, from someone I didn�t even know he was working for, didn�t bill out and probably spent more in labor on the job than he was paid. But I can only speculate.

Great, so we can pay next weeks payroll. Whooppee fucking doo. Bring me a check for, say, $7000 so I can pay our bills and I�ll be fucking impressed.

Then he hands me a copy of a social security card and birth certificate of the kid he hired!!! And informs me he�s worked two days this week.

Hello? Is this thing on? You did not just fucking tell me that. Did I get any info on this guy? Do I have his hours? Did he come over to fill out the app? DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE BIT ABOUT US NOT BEING ABLE TO PAY THESE PEOPLE?!? And you go and have him start and intentionally didn�t tell me for two days? Knowing that we can�t afford it?

To say I flipped out would be an understatement. I flat out called him the most retarded person I have ever met. And I called him stupid numerous times, because you know what? If the shoe fits, wear it. I ran down our conversations as of late, and he said, �Remember I asked you a month ago if I could hire him and you said yes?� Well, a month ago, okay, but FUCKING HELLO, MORON, have you listened to a word I�ve said at all recently? Like in the last week? Like, especially the times when I had to make sure he knew I was serious when I said, �I�m serious as a heart attack about this�.

I�m not even fucking sorry I called him stupid, because he is. I swear to fucking God. I couldn�t hold it anymore. I am so sick of all his bullshit, he just doesn�t fucking get it. And he never will. He thinks the world revolves around him and he just does whatever he wants and gives not one single thought to any potential consequences whatsoever. �Because I need, but I need, I need�. Ugh. You need a fucking clue, is what you need. Stupid is as stupid does, and the character that�s famous for saying that is totally way smarter than my husband.

So. He reacted by yelling at me, slamming the storm door around and busting out the window (because, as I predicted back in January when he finally switched the screen to the glass, my screen has not yet been put back in, because of course he broke it, and if I don�t go to the glass place to get another one, it won�t get put in. Besides my landlord is buying a new storm door whenever that happens, but I guarantee it would be like the day after I go to the glass place and get a new screen), and calling me a cunt.

Which, every other time in my life that a man has called me that, I�ve gotten all bent out of shape. Last night? Fuck it, I agreed with him. I said, �YES I AM! I�M THE BIGGEST ONE YOU EVER MET!�. (Jackie�s strategy for fighting tip #45: Always agree with the opposition�s assessment of you. They tend to get put off that they can�t insult you). Then he went upstairs, broke a lamp and my bookcase, got his shorts and undies and grabbed Daisy�s bag (because I had gone to pick her up a little before, you know, like I do all the time when it�s time for MY visitation with her) and left. Bye! See ya! Fuck you have a nice day!

Of course, they went to Dunkins and came right back, but he was not going to get me to bite to the �Gee I�m sorry� bullshit even if he tried. I did ask him about why he didn�t mention this kid to me again, why he didn�t come over on Sunday to fill out the app like he�d said. He said, �I was busy Sunday�. OH YOU FUCKING RETARD. You were here all day Sunday. ALL DAY. Here. Hello? Am I the only one who sees that I am dealing with Dummy McStupidpants?

I�m so fed up with him. I just can�t even deal with it anymore. But what the fuck am I gonna do? I know it�s so easy to just say �Get rid of him� but it�s just not that easy with kids involved. I could walk out of here right now, but that would mean, my kids lose their home, the home they�ve known for 3 years. And I move, where, back into downtown Nashua? Fuck no. I�m not ready for that struggle at this point. He sucks, but it�s still bearable. In fact, it�s wonderful because he�s gone all the time.

He could be fucking someone else and I wouldn�t give a crap as long as it keeps him out of my hair.

I know I have one reader out there who knows exactly where I am coming from in staying in a crappy marriage due to the kid situation and the repercussions of leaving. Hi.

I will be taking my name off the business so that he doesn�t ruin it for me. Because he will. It�s just a matter of time. Because is he going to tell the employees that this is their last week? No, he won�t.

And he wanted me to write a letter to all of his customers notifying him that the business will be closing. I said, Fuck you, you write it. It�s your fault we�re in this mess, you�re the one who�s fucking it up, you never wanted to listen to a word I said, so you write it. I hate to play the blame game, but he is truly deserving of it. Fucking numbnuts.

It doesn�t help that he got all his records from his lawsuit against the bread company because of the IRS shit. I was perusing them the other night with him, he had to look for some letter. Now, Hub had a bread route back in the day when he was with The Douchebag. He made a ton of cash at it too. To hear him tell it, one day they just �took it away� from him. HA. There was warning after warning in there to him, not servicing certain accounts, unacceptable behavior, bread and crumb cakes missing or returned when he hadn�t even been giving them, etc, etc. I said, �They gave you warnings all the time� and he said, �No they didn�t�. Um? Hi? I�m reading them. What, are they fake?

Yeah, so he lost his route on account of the fact that he was stealing, or at least faking numbers, and because he�s stupid, he couldn�t do it right. Now the IRS wants him to pay them $97,000 because, again, he�s stupid, and the bread company issued a 1099 to him in 1999 and maybe if he�d checked it then, he�d have this taken care of back then.

He said to me, �You should get your share of the tax refund back�. DUH. You�re damn right I�m getting it back, that�s why I filed �Injured Spouse� and that�s why I�ll file separately from now on.

I could just bitch on and on forever about the asshat fucktard that is my husband, but I�ve really go to move on with life, post this, read some diaries and maybe do some shit around the house.

Bye.

Listening to: Spongebob Squarepants

Currently reading: "My Life" Bill Clinton

Thinking about: I think I went over that pretty well above.