"Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker."
It just takes little things for me to break out of a funk and get back to reality. Yesterday and this morning there were three. Except for the whole Ned situation. I could still cry at the drop of a hat about that. It must be the motherly instinct thing, I think. I know if I talked to my dad about it, I�d fell better. He�d put things into perspective for me.
Anyway. Number one. I got the best pics in a total surprise email. Which is all I can say about that. Except to say that Minnie looked at me as I was looking at the pics and said, �Mommy, why are you smiling like that?�.
Number Two. In my quest to master the macro setting on my camera, I have been stalking bugs left and right, particularly the dragonflies and damselflies that are in abundance in my yard every summer. They are hard to get pics of though, with that whole flying away thing they�ve got going on.
Well, yesterday, this little guy just sat while I took a bunch of pics of him. There are more of him up at Flickr. This also broke a silence between Butthead and I as he watched my retarded ass with the camera and said, �Hey, did you find out about the photo contest yet?�.
(Which, btw, they will not be taking any more submissions after July 29, and I think I remember reading that they�d announce the winners in August sometime).
Number Three further snapped my ass out of it. As I was spacing out on the potty this morning at 5:30, I could hear something walking right out back and looked out. Two deer, walking right at the edge of the woods by my driveway. Holy shit! I was so excited, I ran to the bedroom to get my camera, which wasn�t there (aargh! I left it downstairs by the computer last night!) and when I returned they were looking at the house, obviously they�d heard me. I decided to take a chance of getting a pic anyway, and ran downstairs, grabbed my camera and quietly went outside. (Yeah, in my charming PJ�s again).
It wasn�t easy and didn�t come out very well, but I shot those two does, yes I did. See? It�s the best I could do. They ran off right after I snapped that. But it was still cool as all hell seeing them, I love spotting deer, and we�ve been here for three years and I�ve never seen one here. The boys saw one once, but that was it. I saw two!
I don�t know why, but the clock in my camera is a day behind. It happened sometime in NY, I noticed it when we got home and I downloaded all my images and found that some of the pics I�d taken on the 4th of July were marked July 3. Maybe if I got my manual out, I could figure out how to fix it. One of these days.
I still have to sneak a pic of the neighbor, but I haven�t seen much of him lately. Plus, you know, I�ve been a depressed fool too.
I kept trying to talk myself out of it. I�d think, it could be so much worse. I could be a dark-skinned Arab-looking male in, say, London, for example. As much as life sucks sometimes, I�m better off than a lot of the world�s population. And I�ve got my health. I think.
When I found out I was pregnant with Mickey, I got into one of those funks. I thought my life was over, it was the worst situation I could be in. Then, on the news, I saw this story about a guy who�d been in an accident and lost both his legs, and that just snapped me out of it. I thought, I�m having a baby, it�s not the end of the world. That poor guy just lost his legs and he�ll never get them back. It could be worse. And I�ve tried to think of that through the years.
I�ve probably written about that before, too. If I have, sorry about the redundancy.
Anyway. I have some shit to do out in the real world before Colin and Makayla come at 11:30. Then it�s a quick nap for Colin and we are off to Robinson Pond for a few hours because the Weather Channel told me today that it�s going to be HOT and so humid that it�ll be OPPRESSIVE. So far it�s pretty decent and it�s only supposed to last through tomorrow. Another reason not to be all pissy. It makes the hot oppressive weather suck a lot more.
So. I�ve got to go.
Adios!