Where the fuck is everyone?
I've been spending way too much time on the computer the past couple of days. It's amazing how easy it is to kill 2 or 3 hours on the internets. Internet time definitely goes faster than regular time.
I'm becoming increasingly more bored with d-land. Well, maybe that's not so true, as I've really enjoyed reading people's reactions to the election. I've enjoyed reading the reactions that are similiar to mine. I'm fed up with Republicans reactions, and even took someone off my buddy list when I just couldn't stand the trashing and generalizing of Democrats and liberals any longer. Doesn't matter, that person won't notice, and never once replied to any comment I'd ever left, so said person didn't give a fuck anyway.
Hub's custody trial with Esther is coming up at the end of the month and I'm not loooking forward to it. I hate the whole thing. Hub most likely won't get custody of Daisy, although had he actually had the trial a year ago when it was first scheduled, he most likely would have. But, time has changed things. They can't agree to a settlement, so it's off to court.
I've never gone into details about it here, so here's a brief, vague description. Esther had a boyfriend, "Chester" (see where I'm going with this) who lived with her. Chester is not a savory character, as we've discovered in the past almost two years of this trial crap that he's a three time convicted felon who is a drunken asshole, and who regularly abused Esther verbally and physically. The cops were called to their home 38 times in 2001. Anyway, almost two years ago, Daisy revealed to me that Chester had done something to her that he really shouldn't have done. The court shit started right after, as Hub believes that Esther cannot protect Daisy from harm. And of course I'm involved because Daisy initially told me about what happened.
Well, Chester is out of Daisy's life and that's the best thing that could have happened, so at least all this bullshit has been worth something.
Esther and I did not get off to a good start. She hated me from the beginning only because I was with Hub. Knowing that she was somewhat of a loose cannon, I steered clear of her in an effort to avoid a high school drama scene. The court shit only added to the hostility.
Over this past summer, sick and tired of all this shit, sick and tired of being nerved up everytime I had to see Esther, I decided to make nice-nice with Esther. We can communicate with each other now, which is best for us and Daisy as Hub cannot stand Esther and is impatient and hostile with her, mostly because of the situation with Daisy. I am merely a tool for communication between the two of them. I don't make any decisions that need to be made between the two of them, I just relay messages. I don't meddle. I am a voice of reason to Hub regarding her, and sometimes he takes my input under consideration, but ultimately, it's up to him.
I'm trying to be the step-mom that I would want for my kids.
I don't anticipate ever being "friends" with Esther, I'm just trying to be a grown-up about everything. And she appreciates it, and she's even told me so. I'm trying to put any negative emotions aside and get along for Daisy's sake. It's not easy, and I expect that it will only get worse as the trial nears. Hub expects that all of our nicey-nice will go out the window once the trial starts. He could be right.
I don't have my heart set on any verdict. If Hub gets Daisy, great. If he doesn't, life goes on.
If he does get her, I think Esther will go off the deep end. She may be giving us all kinds of a hard time. But, who knows?
I know alot of shit is going to come up in court that I'm not going to like. I'm getting myself ready for that so that I'm not so shocked when it does happen. I'm trying to find a place that'll keep me from taking it personally. I know that Esther is just trying to keep her kid because she loves her. I know her behavior in the past might seem like she doesn't, but I know she loves her kids.
I think her behavior is a result of the fact that she does have the mentality of a 13 year old and she's quite self-centered. I think once she gets another boyfriend, he most likely will be like Chester, and I agree with Hub that she really can't protect her kids. But I also think she realizes that Hub is up her ass now and making it well known that he is going to be in every aspect of Daisy's life, like it or not, and perhaps that will be enough of a deterrent for her to allow another man to behave like Chester did.
It's such a complicated situation. It's made me realize that I never want my children's lives in the hands of the court system. It's so flawed. I don't want the well-being of my kids left to the decisions of a judge who's never met them. Even when Dick and I went through the custodial thing (what seems like a lifetime ago), we agreed upon everything and never saw a judge. If he were to emerge today (highly unlikely, but ya never know), I would work with him as opposed to going through the courts. (As a matter mcfact, the only plan I have for the courts in regards to my kids is to eventually ask for sole legal custody instead of the joint legal custody that we share now. And I'm giving that time, like at least two years, to at least give Dick sometime to come around. Not that I want him to, but they are his kids, too, and someday they'll be adults and they'll know everything and I want them to now that I didn't deny them to him, even though I could've and should've).
I wrote a little last week about my ex-landlord who screwed us through the court system. Never did I realize exactly how fucked up the courts are until I got the verdict that we owed him $712.69, on top of my $750 security deposit that he'd already taken, for damages to an apartment that we'd cleaned, painted and repaired before we moved out, for a floor that had some scratches in it before we moved in. And for his legal fees, because even though we told him we'd be moving and exactly when, he tried to evict us at the same time we were voluntarily moving out. We had signed statements from witnesses, I had every episode of his harassment documented, and we were still ruled against. Because of bullshit precedents.
But, in the end, we fucked Bob (his real name). Legally. Because, at the time, Hub and I were in financial turmoil. And we wrote to the courts saying we couldn't afford a lump sum payment and asked to make monthly payments. Bob objected, and we went back to court and Hub and I demonstrated exactly how strapped for cash we were. The judge ruled we'd pay Bob back $25 a month, which means he'd get his money over a 2 1/2 year period. Now our balance is hovering around $260, and we have more than enough money to pay the rest, but he can fucking wait for it and get his $25 check every month (I pay it early most months, just to irritate him, because it shows that yet another month, you can't fuck us in court again).
Well, it's time for me to find a shred of motivation and get off my ass.
Adios!