Happy Halloween, Bob!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
I spent the afternoon yesterday at my girlfriend Shelly's house. Every year she and her husband have a pumpkin carving party. Shelly has an alcohol problem, and sometimes she can be an obnoxious drunk, as she is by nature an obnoxious person. Hub won't go over at all because the one time we did go over together, she and her husband were bickering exactly like his parents used to when he was a kid. But Shelly's heart is in the right place and she and her husband have a bunch of fun friends, the Harley riding type, and it was a better option than staying here all day by myself with the kids.
Ha. I planned on being there just a couple of hours, depending on Shelly's disposition, but since that was good, me and the little bastards ended up staying until like 8:00, when Hub called (for the second time, he'd called when he ot home at 5:00 too). I had a great time. It's so nice to be with people for a change, people over the age of 18, that is.
I had to take a brief trip out from the party to bring Beavis to his buddy's sleep-over birthday party. I was greeted in the driveway by roughly 10 7th grade boys and the father of the birthday boy and another dad. The other dad, "Ron", is one cutie pie, and even though I'd met him before, when I was still heavy, he didn't remember me. Ron's kid is one of Beavis' good friends, and he's so cute, he makes me want to be 13 again.
It's funny too cuz Ron seems more like a professional type of guy with kind of a preppy style, and his ex, the kid's mom, is a wild, Harley riding type. I've been trying to figure that one out for two years now.
Anyway, suffice it to say, I just love it when I get to flirt with hot guys when I'm dealing with Beavis and his friends. It's even funner when I start referring to Beavis's friends dads as hotties in front of Beavis, since that gives him the willies. His partner in crime in another duplex on our little road has this adorable uncle, "Uncle Scott", who lives with his family. Every time Uncle Scott's name comes up, I say, "oooo, Uncle Scott" and Beavis gets all flustered.
It is so fun to fuck around with the boys. I don't know how they put up with me giving them shit like I'm 14 years old all the time. For example, Butthead was on the phone with one of his friends the other day, and came over to ask me if he could go out or something, and knowing his friend could hear, I said, "Butthead, do you think you could possibly get your hand out of your pants and stop touching yourself for like one minute? Geez, there's little kids here".
When the boys aren't available when their friends call, I tell them stuff like, "Oh, Butthead? He's in the middle of shaving his back right now". And they both learned the hard way not too leave any IM's left up unattended, because I will start chatting with their friends. The last time I did it, Beavis left one up. I proceeded to type in, "I like boys", "Let's talk about boys". The friend was like, "okay". Tee hee. Beavis was bullshit.
It's my little way of returning a small amount of the shit that they provide me with regularly. I'll probably get all kinds of bad karma over it, but it'll be worth it.
Oh yeah and I LOVE extra hour day! The clocks I haven't changed say 9:00, but it's really 8:00! Yey!
Trick or treat is tonight Hooray. Halloween candy. This is a struggle for me every year. I wrote about this last year.
(Which reminds me, I had to renew my gold membership the other day. Which was cool, because it means that I've had this journal in operation for a year now. Unbelievable. I really committed to one, finally).
And Hub and I are going out later tonight for some Halloween mischief. Our previous landlord really screwed us a couple of years ago and we've been quiet, we've been good little doobies and have been paying monthly on the lawsuit he won against us (for damage that was present in the apartment before I moved in, which he knew about, but because he could, he fucked us for it) and left it alone. This cantankerous old bastard made us totally miserable when we lived upstairs from him. I was so appalled at what he got away with at the time, that I seriously considered forming a Tenant's Association to help other people out with fuckers like him (but, needing to have alot of motivation to pull something like that together, I never actually went through with it). I've never gotten over it, because I was a good tenant, paid rent on time every month, kept the place clean, etc, etc, and he fucked us just because he could, because he's a greedy old fuck who's claim to fame is being the landlord to one stinking apartment.
I'd never normally do what we're going to do tonight, but it's time for a little karmic retribution for the asshole. Let's just say it'll involve some eggs, wet tp, pink silly string and rotten pumpkins. The theme is "Halloween mischief". As much as I'd like to dump a gallon of paint on his 2004 Ford, I'm staying out of felony territory. I can handle a misdeamnor and a $100 fine if we get caught, seeing as it would be my first offense EVER, anywhere. That would eb worth it. Not that they'd recognize me now, since I've lost the weight in the time since they last saw me. And they are in a crappy neighborhood where shit like that happens. And it's been long enough that we won't be immediate suspects.
It's gonna be like I'm 15 again! Sure, it's childish, but I don't care. If I could give all the details of my 3 1/2 years in that place, one would have no choice but to support us. Seriously.
Anyway, I'm outta here.
Happy Halloween, Bob!
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