So needless to say I'm odds and ends But that's me stumbling away Slowly learning that life is OK

Ahhh�to write or not to write? That is the question. I was busy doing books for the pathetically failing business all morning and just as I was about to update after lunch, Smokey popped in for a visit. So that put things off. But anyway. Here I am.

Anyway, to answer and comment on some of your comments yesterday (which, btw, you all RULE. I wish we could have a big dland convention and hang out. Seriously. Sometimes I feel like a freak when I think of my �friends� on dland, but it�s true. You all help me through the day, more than you know!): First off, yeah, I guess I�d forgotten that I am a pyscho from hell on the pill. It�s been a while since I was on it and the last time I was it low-estrogen or something like that because I was breast feeding and that wasn�t too bad but when I was on the regular shit? Watch the fuck out. Yeah. I�ll just deal with my period every month.

And my support system with the kids. Well, here is why the boys don�t babysit more often. As far as Butthead goes, he�s an asshole. If we dare inconvenience him with babysitting, like we did a few weeks ago for my cousin�s wedding, then we can expect nothing else. I made supper for the kids and everything before the wedding (and AND, I had to change the skirt I was originally wearing because it got stained, but that was my stupidity anyway), which was tacos. I make the whole spread for tacos, salsa, sour cream, lettuce, tomates, cheese, etc, and left it out for them. He didn�t clean up shit. I didn�t have to leave it out, I did it so he could eat, and that�s how he re-pays me. Anyway, that and he�s got such a busy social calendar, I don�t bother with him.

Now Beavis? Can�t be trusted to care for the kids. He�s perfectly capable of being responsible for himself, but not the kids. The last time I left him with the kids was in July, for an hour, early in the morning. He ended up jumping off of the top bunk of Mickey�s bed, landing on a toy, and cutting his foot open. He is still just a big kid. He tells me all the time, too, that I insult him by not trusting him with the kids. I usually don�t reply right away, I just wait ten minutes for him to pull his next dumbass move and then I say, ��what was that about me insulting you?�.

And, of course, I�ve always had a big issue with parents who use their older children as babysitters for the younger ones. I know that I wouldn�t abuse it like some parents do, but I still think it�s primarily my responsibility to take care of the kids and not the big kids. Besides, Butthead is retarded. Totally retarded.

He asked me yesterday, �When does school start?�. All I could think was, this kid cannot be that stupid. Last week, he had his panties in a bunch over getting his parking permit in time for school to start, now he doesn�t even know when? So I told him. Then, when I saw Beavis, I asked him when school starts, just to see if maybe they didn�t know or if Butthead really is dumb. Beavis said, �Next Tuesday, August 30!!!�. Okay, so Butthead is dumb. He�s his father�s son, after all.

Oh, and you guys, I�m so flattered y�all think I�m superwoman. Some folks in real life think so too. Where does this idea come from? I hardly think I am, but that�s me. But thank you anyway. It means a lot to me.

Anyway. My latest fashion trend to bitch about. Which, allow me to digress, I did some research the other day into the whole �skirt over jeans� thing. Oh, that�s so old, I guess. Where the fuck have I been? Evidently, Japanese girls have been doing it for 6 years. Whatever, I still think it looks ridiculous. Anyway, I have noticed lately (and who knows, maybe this has been going on for years and I�ve been clueless) that some folks are turning up their collars on their shirts. OMG shoot me now, please! 1984, go away! ACK! Now, back in the day, that was true preppy style, and totally obnoxious. And I, in those days, was completely anti-preppy. I even had a pin that had the Izod alligator on it, with one of those red cross-outs on it. NO PREPPIES. So, to be totally anti-preppy, I stole the turned up collar from them. Seriously. I got cheap, cheap, cheap polo shirts, wore a gnarly tee shirt over it, collared up and�and�*gasp*�wore a bandana, rolled up, around the turned up collar. And then put on my beat up denim jacket over it, and flipped that collar up, too.

Let me tell you, I couldn�t get the preppies to hate me as hard as I tried.

Anyway, my 8th grade junior high school yearbook had a great pic of me in said style, but I can�t find it. I was pictured because I won the spelling bee that year. Only because, a guy I�d had a crush on earlier that year but was a total dickhead to me, Andy O�Hara, was in the finals and no way was that asshole beating me, nuh-uh! Anyway, that picture was actually flattering of my face. But, never fear, I found another. And it�s hideous. All you old ladies who thought you were fugly in the 80�s, feast your eyes on this:

A particularly awkward stage, ey? I even cropped out another friend who was beyond dorky and awkward.

Anyway, so while digging up that lovely pic, I found some more hideous 80�s pics to share.

Here�s me, circa 1985. Somewhere in Texas, between Dallas, where we flew in, and Altus, OK, where we were headed (my older bro was an Air Force man). All I need to say is�Camaro, trailer park, mullet. �Nuff said.

Me, circa 1987, at �Under 21 Nite� at the now defunct Brothers 4 nightclub. Brothers 4 went out with the 80�s and was rumored to have been run by the Greek mob. There was more than one shooting there. Anyway, the pic says it all�and isn�t as bad as the first one.

Finally, my prom. I don�t think I�ve ever posted a prom pic, have I? June 17, 1988. My dress was the bomb for 1988, and it fits me now! Well! I know this because I still have it. My date was Ted. We were very good friends who crossed the line that night. He�d asked me to go with him when we were at his band practice at his dad�s shop, we were drunk and I was in the bathroom on the toilet when he asked me through the door. To say he was shy is an understatement. But, he was very sweet and thoughtful and just not a bad boy at all, so that relationship was doomed from the get-go. He was a musician though (drummer) and quite artistic, so he got a chance, at least. He lives in Atlanta now, doing web graphics or something like that.

Anyway, dland is fucked as always, so hopefully these pics show up. Stupid dland.

I�m out, yo.

Listening to: Commercials. Buy our shit. Blah blah blah.

Currently reading: "Ashes to Ashes" Tami Hoag.

Thinking about: I wish that I knew what I knew now, when I was young.