Diary Maintenance & A Meme
I just did a bunch of much-overdue diary maintenance. Archived a bunch and cleaned up the old buddy list. I had to cut out about everyone who hasn't updated in over 30 days as a rule. A few exceptions, of course, but if I cut you out, that's the only reason! Oh, there is ONE person I cut out because I can't stand them anymore, but if you're reading this, it's not you, that person doesn't read me anymore.
Anyway, since I'm feeling absolutely like a pile of shit today and don't feel like putting up another "woe is me and my pathetic life" entry (maybe tomorrow, folks), here's a survey I stole from Ali and Taylor:
How tall are you?
That's up for debate. I've always thought I was 5'9", only to have someone who says they're 5'9" point out that they are taller than me. I haven't officially re-checked yet. So, probably 5"8". I'M SHRINKING!
Can you crip walk?
Can I what?
Do you like bondage?
Not for pleasure but more for restraint purposes. If it was legal.
Have you ever smoked heroin?
No. First, what a waste of heroin. Second, I'm all set with being a junkie, thanks.
Do you own a gun?
No. No. No. Too many kids and too many bad moods. If you know what I mean.
Have you been to jail?
Nope. Never even been arrested. Yay, me!
Rehab?
Never. Not that I haven't needed it.
Who is your favorite villain?
Darth Vader. And Cruella DeVille as played by Glenn Close. Speaking of whom, she was pretty fucking scary as Alex in Fatal Attraction, too.
What do you think of chicks in white belts?
I don't know...it wouldn't bother me as long as the belt isn't worn with a skirt over jeans, I suppose.
Are you gay?
No. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Are you Irish?
Not one little bitty bit. My Celtic origin is purely Scottish.
Who would you punch if you could?
George W. Bush if I knew it would do any good at all.
Do you smoke pot?
Too much.
What do you think of hot dogs?
Yummy!
What's your favorite Christmas song?
"Deck The Halls", as sang by the Chinese people in "A Christmas Story": Fa-ra-ra-ra....
What is your favorite smell?
Very early morning air.
What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Vodka. No. Really, coffee coffee coffee.
Would you go to SF or NYC right now if you had the chance?
That's a toughie. I'd love to go either place, but probably NYC with me being all East Coast and shit.
What's your favorite college football team?
I can't even NAME a college football team.
Does your little brother listen to Reggie and the Full Effect?
I don't know, do they play at the homeless shelter?
Do you ever fantasize about murder?
NO COMMENT.
Would you fuck Victoria Gotti if you could?
How much am I getting paid to do it?
Who is your favorite artist right now?
I always liked the renaissance guys who painted fat girls, cuz back then fat was beautiful and a sign of wealth.
Have you ever done ecstasy?
Nope. After my time. I grew up on good old fashioned LSD.
Are you straightedge?
If I knew what the fuck that is, I could answer this.
Are you vegetarian?
Not even close.
Do you shoplift?
No.
What's the last thing you stole?
Okay, I shoplifted once. In 1984, when I was 13. Me and a friend stole the fugliest boots from Bradlee's Department Store. High heeled, suede, mid-calf length...hey, if I still had them, they'd be back in style!
Do you ski or snowboard?
No. I hate the cold.
What do you think of mustaches?
With a goatee/van dyke, they are yummy.
Do you use hair gel?
Just a teeny bit to tame the stupid fly-aways I get around my face.
Do you sniff cocaine?
No. I do not like to go fast.
Who is your favorite serial killer?
Gee, there's so many great ones to choose from...Jeffrey Dahmer was pretty twisted, as was Ed Gein...oh, and Ted Bundy was so cute...
Do you wear robes?
In the winter.
Do you believe in Bigfoot?
"Your wife's a Bigfoot, isn't she, Gus? You shaved the bitch down and taught her to speak". Um, no.
Sleep in pajamas, underwear or naked?
PJ's.
Have you ever made out with your friend's bf/gf?
Not that I can remember.
Have you ever been caught mid-hump?
Oh yeah, with the sperm donor of the oldest.
Have you been shot?
No.
Have you ever been hospitalized?
Oh yeah, a few times as a kid, three times for birthing babies.
Do you like painkillers?
Yeah, you got any?
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Hate.
Ever been in a bar fight?
No, but I've broken one or two up.
Do you have a.d.d.?
Without a doubt.
Have you ever had a head injury?
That's up for debate.
How many virgins have you slept with?
None that I know of!
Do you love the pain a tattoo brings?
Couldn't tell ya, I've never gotten one.
White or black?
What season is it? Spring or Summer: white. Fall or Winter: black.
Hoodies or no hoodies?
Eh. I don't feel passionately either way. I own none, however.
Would you stand in the rain naked for the person you love?
Fuck that shit.
Would you fuck Danny of "The Real World"?
It's been asked before, which one? On the current one, no. The New Orleans Danny, if he were to come play for my team, definitely. He was hot.
Ever gambled?
Never! It's such a waste of money.
Been on a ferris wheel in the rain?
No. I hate ferris wheels.
Stuck in an elevator?
No.
Your worst memory?
Losing my mom at a young age.
Best memory?
I can't narrow it down.
Are you redneck?
Redneck, white trash, take your pic.