"In other news the Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today and my tiny little nipples went to France".
Ya know, I�ve lived in this area all my life, basically. I was born here, I was raised here, I ran the roads and got nutty as a teenager (fuck it, as an adult, too) here and I�m raising my kids here. I�m never leaving New England, ever. Frankly, I never want to leave New Hampshire itself. I love it here.
That being said, if this area were to be destroyed, even if my entire family lived through it, I�d be traumatized. I don�t know what I�d do. I can�t even fathom what it would be like to see my entire hometown completely destroyed. I watch the coverage of Katrina and the aftermath and I just want to cry. I just can�t even imagine it.
Anyway.
I just realized the other day that I am going to see Elton John again in two weeks from this Saturday. Two weeks! This time in Bahston at the BostonGardenFleetCenterTDBanknorthGarden, whatever it�s called now. I�m pretty sure we�ve got nosebleed seats but they�re pretty close to the stage, so I might be able to see him this time instead of the back of people�s heads like last time when we had floor seats.
I love Elton John. Love him love him LOVE HIM. Not like I love, say, MCA from the Beastie Boys, but like you�d love your gay best friend. Or your gay dad. Because of course he�s gay (which makes me love him more more more) and old enough to be my dad (he�s five months younger than my dad, as a matter mcfact). This would not stop me from bearing his child if he were to need someone to artificially inseminate. Pick me, pick me!
I love his music. Mostly stuff circa 1989 and before, but some of his new stuff I like, the stuff I�ve heard anyway. I haven�t bought or listened to any of his new albums and I suppose that says that I don�t love him as much as I say but I do! He might be 58 years old but that man can still put on a show. He still plays lots and lots of his old stuff. I can�t wait to see him. Can�t wait!
It�ll be my third time seeing him. The first time was 19 years ago this Saturday, September 3, 1986, when I was almost 16. Some friends and I saw him at the Worcester (�woos-tah�) Centrum. Now The DCU Center or something. (Notable, that I saw the Beasties, my other favoritest group ever, last year at the Centrum). Last year I saw him in Manch-Vegas at the Verizon Wireless Arena.
Actually, it would have been the fourth time, as I had tickets to see him in October of 1989, but he got sick and cancelled the show. Like two days before. And I was mad at him for it. Mad at Elton John. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? Well, I was still a spoiled little 19 year old bee-yotch back then.
Anyway, we bought tickets for this show back in March, so it was easy for me to �forget� that the show was coming up. However, I�m getting prepared now. I�ve been listening to all my CDs and last night I made a huge EJ play list on Napster. Including lots of live shit, because like I said, that man can still put on a show.
His boyfriend/life partner is pretty hot, too.
So. This is like news from two weeks ago, but I have to comment on it. This guy, Sean Combs. WTF is his deal? First he was Puff Daddy. Then Sean �Puffy� Combs. Then P. Diddy. Now it�s just Diddy? Make up your fucking mind, dude. I think it�s just silly. Silly, I say! I also say, that I refuse to conform and will continue to call him �Puff Daddy�. Or Puffy. Because I�m a rebel like that. And I think if you�re going to pick out a stage name, you should stick with it. Don�t keep fucking changing it. We are but human, we get confused too easily.
I kept calling Prince �Prince� all through his �The Artist Formerly Known As Prince� silly symbol years. At least he took his name back. As much as I love Mark Wahl berg (and I do, he just makes me moist) and as much as I know how he hates to be referred to by his rapper name, I will still refer to him as Markie Mark. I get stuck in my wasy, I guess.
Speaking of names, why is it that every new female singer now only has one name? That bugs me too. It was original when Madonna did it. Now it�s old. And, again, silly.
Again, with names. I have this awful habit of repeatedly calling certain actors by a name of a character that they played in one movie. For example, Bill Paxton. You might remember him from such movies as �Apollo 13�, �Twister� and a little movie called �Titanic�. However, I remember him first as the obnoxious Chet from �Weird Science�. So, for the past, oh, twenty years or so, whenever I see him in a movie, or wherever, I say, �Hey! It�s Chet!�.
Now I�m doing the same for the guy in �The 40 Year Old Virgin�, who I just found out is named Steve Carell. His performance in �Bruce Almighty� made such an impression on me (especially that one scene, one of the funniest scenes in any movie ever--as good as the dinner table scene in �The Nutty Professor�--you know what scene I�m talking about if you saw the movie, �I like to do the cha-cha like a sissy girl�, this scene still brings me to tears it�s so funny), that I refer to him as Evan Backstabber. I think the character�s name was Evan Baxter, actually, but Evan Backstabber sticks with me.
Also from �Bruce Almighty�, when we went to Niagra Falls both times this summer and last, every time I saw the Maid of The Mist, all I could think of was �Back to you, FUCKERS!�.
I�m silly. I know this.
Finally. My little Mickey. This is the conversation we had in the van last night, when just he and I took a ride to pick up dinner.
Me: Mickey?
Mickey: What?
Me: I love you.
Mickey: I farted. (pause) Again.
He kills me.
Anyway. I�ve got to go. I need to get gas before the price goes up anymore (At this point, I�m ready to trade in the minivan for a Mini Cooper. Seriously.) and I�m going to drop Daisy off at home.
Adios, amigos!