"Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"
So. My step-son is still a moron. I've been getting along with him as of late, but seriously, that kid is totally intellectually challenged. Allow me to share.
First of all, the kid applied for a job at Petsmart or some big pet store. Part of the application process is a drug test. Now, me, I hear "drug test" and I think, "No fucking way". Because obviously, I'll fail. No doubt. So, of course, my first question to Butthead: "Are you worried about the results?". Now. While "no" came out of his mouth, his face clearly gave it away. He was nervous! Of course, I called him on it.
Needless to say, Mr. Butthead did not get the job.
Anyway.
He was here yesterday with his "GF", Jen. She's a sweetheart, really cute but also somewhat challenged like Butthead is. Not that there's anything wrong with that. So, they were here and Butthead was chit-chatting with me. Why he even still likes me with as much of a bitch as I have been to him at times is beyond me, but he still likes me.
The conversation went roughly like this:
Butthead: Tim [his best friend since grade school, his only guy buddy and the kid who he spent most of his summer with, sleepovers, fishing, etc etc] got busted the other day.
Me: [Thinking that Tim got busted by the po-lice] For what?
Butthead: He was leaving some...um...stuff in a paint ball case and it got found.
Me: What did he have in there?
Butthead: Um. A bowl. A really nice one, too! [He then goes on to describe this thing to me, in detail I might add]. And five grams of something.
Me: Of what?
Butthead: I can't say.
Me: Well then don't say, let me guess. What color was it?
Butthead: Black.
Me: Hash?
Butthead: Um, yeah.
Me: So, wait a minute, who found that in the paintball case?
Butthead: His parents.
Me: So he didn't get busted by the cops?
Butthead: No but he's grounded BIG TIME!
Me: So WHY are you telling me this? You didn't have too, ya retard.
Butthead: Are you gonna tell my dad?
Me: Well, I can't keep juicy gossip like that to myself! You didn't even have to tell me! He didn't get busted by the cops, and Tim's parents aren't gonna tell your dad. Dumbass.
Butthead: Well, it's not like I did anything wrong, I didn't have it.
Me: Guilt by association, dumbass! You spent most of the summer with him, sleeping over and everything, and you expect us to believe that you're not taking the pot? Cut the crap.
Butthead: We were fishing most of the time!
Me: What better time to smoke?
Butthead: Yeah, like we would at Clocktower, after all those cops showed up that time for throwing fish in the water.
Me: Like you couldn't take your truck somewhere else BEFORE going there. Please.
If there's one thing I know about, it's how to get high as a teenager. These guys think I can't remember the days. I bust him every time because his excuses mean nothing to me, I can argue around them and he just sits there like "duh".
Seriously, though, I love the kid, but he didn't have to tell me that. I was kiddingly calling him a dumbass and stuff, but he knew why.
Seriously, Hub is a little upset about it, but what can he expect? He smokes the reefer, too. As much as I don't want my kids doing it, if they do, I can take the blame for it. I hate to be a hypocrite. Although I'm sure when it's my kid doing it, I won't find it as funny as Butthead doing it.
I do things when Butthead's friends call and he's not home. Jen called for him last week and I said, "No, he's not home, I think he's out picking up a bag of weed". Just matter of fact. They have no idea what to think.
I have no plans on partying with any of them until they're at least 21, just so you know.
I took Mickey to WallyWorld earlier to get a few things. He asked for toys. We found mini-slinkies for 88 cents. I bought two, one for him, one for Minnie. He's broken both of them in less than two hours. That's my boy.
Minnie is feeling better today. I was starting to get really worried about her. I hate random fevers with very little other symptoms except fatigue. That was her yesterday, with no appetite. Minnie's an eater, and for her not to eat much is not a good sign.
The paper the other day reported that a woman in Newton, NH just died of EEE (eastern equine encephalitis), and we've had a few other cases in the state, too, although it still is pretty rare. So I dug up the other day's paper and looked up the symptoms: flu-like symptoms at first, followed by headache and delusions and shit. I started to get worried and I never worry too much about the latest health scare.
Well, rewind to Friday night after I'd had a few drinks, and folks were talking about EEE and how we're out in the woods, the kids should ALWAYS have bug spray on. Well, I disagree. First, the bugs aren't out most of the day. They aren't out much now that the evenings have been cooler, either. And bug spray, FYI, is poison. So I limit my usage of it. If the kids are going to be out on a hot night, or when it's particularly buggy, I spray them up, and they HAVE to shower before bed.
So, I had a buzz and was saying all this, plus factoring in that EEE and West Nile are still very rare. Yes, we should worry about it, but I'm not going to stop my life for it, either.
I figured when Minnie got sick that karma was kicking my ass. Especially as the day went on and she just wasn't feeling better. After she went to bed, I got up periodically to check on her. Her fever went down overnight, plus she was in front of the fan, so her skin felt so cool at one point that I checked her pulse! I know, I'm a freak.
She woke up this morning and the first thing she said was, "I feel so much better today!". Yey! She's off at school and I haven't heard anything so I guess she's still better.
Well, I should end this now. I'm sure once I cut and paste this into the evil white box, I'll have to change all my quote marks so this doesn't show up in Arabic like it did yesterday. My supergold is due to expire in November, I'm thinking I might just leave it and do photos at flickr and comments from haloscan like everyone else. Unless Andrew really fixes this shit. Which I doubt.
Anyway, I'm off.
Adios!