"'My friend! My friend!' You big crybaby. Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place."
Last updated FIVE days ago? Who, Me? I guess so. I should be ashamed of myself. At least I was caught up with everybody through Monday morning. I didn�t even get onto dland yesterday, so I know I have some major reading to do, too. Which is why I�m not doing so right now. Because I�d put off updating yet again.
Ah, I�ve just been busy, I suppose. Monday I started volunteering at Minnie�s school. Ya know all those worksheets the kids come home with? Or the little bound journals and projects, or the laminated decorations on the walls in their classes? Someone has to do that. At first I thought it was just going to be copying and shit, but there�s little projects to do, too.
Nina just called me to see if I wanted to smoke one. It�s 8:30 am. Maybe I�m just old. But smoking at 8:30 am will wreck my whole day. I just cannot do it.
My weekend wasn�t too bad. Friday night we went out for dinner and drinks with Robert and Rhonda. Rhonda is really pissing me off. She�s been cheating on Robert for months now with this dude Frank. She had me go into the bathroom with her at the club and she called him. She wanted me to stay in there the whole time while she talked to him, but I just couldn�t do it. I really don�t want to know anything about it. I don�t want to know because I feel like I should tell Robert, but I can�t. I�ve just known both of them for too long. Plus their son Shawn is one of Beavis�s best friends. I think Robert has an inkling anyway and is just in denial. But still. She just has no fucking clue what a good man Robert is and it pisses me off, dammit.
Saturday I just ran around town doing this and that. Sunday morning started out really, really shitty. Dick had called Saturday to say he�d be working a side job on Sunday and wouldn�t be able to see the kids in the morning. Which, I was just going to take them to Sunday School and come home after, and I was really really really looking forward to not having to deal with him for a change. Then he called Sunday am to say he�d be there anyway, the guys doing the side job called it off for the day. Fucking great! Plus a few other irritating circumstances (including another fucking pity party for poor neglected Hilda--I can�t even go into how fucking fed up with that shit I am), and I was in full freak out mode.
I hate that. Anyway, Dick was at the church. He�s been sober for over a week now and staying at the shelter. Whatever. Not my fault. I was waiting for his pity party when he said he�d just take the kids until about 3:00 pm or so. Yee-hoo! At that point, I was though with the freak out. Hilda went with Hub, Beavis had taken off for an early bike ride with Shawn, Daisy wasn�t with us last weekend, and Butthead was gone with his �GF�.
Long story short: I had NO KIDS for several hours on Sunday. When the fuck does that happen? Not too much. I got a bunch of shit done around here, then smoked a nice blunt and headed out to do some shopping for me. I wanted to get shoes so I went to DSW (aka Shoe Heaven) and did not find one pair of shoes. Know why? I want the winter version of flip-flops. Just a nice little pair of shoes that are somewhat warm and feel like no shoes at all. I don�t want a big fat hard sole that�ll make me ten feet tall, and they have to be slip-ons. The closest I could find was the Birkenstock rip-off clog-type shoes, and I don�t like them. Well. I might end up getting some anyway. Or I might just wear my shoes from last year. They�re still good.
Anyway, so I left DSW very disappointed and went to Old Navy. I got two pairs of jeans, two short sleeved shirts and two long sleeved shirts for the low, low price of $61.45. I was rather pleased with that. So, in the end, I was happy.
Oh are you not fascinated with the minutia that is my life? So if you read this far, here�s a laugh. Kind of. It might be a location joke, though.
Beavis came home last week with a funny little story (actually, it was a location joke, too) about a silent moment in school in which a buddy of his blurted out the phrase, �Me so horny�, just like in the 2 Live Crew tune. Well, Beavis made this his catch phrase to randomly say all afternoon. I asked him not to around the kids, but it was stuck in his head. I know how it is. I do it myself. (Lately, my phrase is from Harold & Kumar, �IS THIS YOUR SPECIAL BUSH?!?�. It is totally stuck in my head. Anyway). Not that it makes it right.
Now, Minnie knows that saying �horny� is not a BAD word, but it�s not one for little kids to say. So, she�s not repeating it. Not around me, anyway. Mickey? Does not give a crap. So, my beautiful little five year old will walk around the house saying, �Me so horny�. And he sings it. Just like in the song. And if Minnie says, �Mickey keeps saying that!�, he will just keep on keepin� on with it. He was singing it on the way into Wally World the other day. At one point another mom was walking near us with her kids, and I actually had to say, to my FIVE YEAR OLD, �There�s little kids around, you need to stop saying that�.
Yeah. If anything, they are my kids. I can�t deny them. No matter how much I try. If you met me in real life, you�d agree. The apple don�t fall too far from the tree.
I suppose I�m a bad influence on the other kids, too. Colin is finally starting to talk, and it is too cute. He�s 18 months old now. He sings �Happy Birthday�, which you can�t make out the words, but you can tell what he�s singing. Anything yucky? He calls it �kaka�. Now, as much as I can�t stand a little kid saying kaka, the way he says it is absolutely adorable. He elongates the second syllable on a higher note, so it�s like �ka-KAAAA?� in question form. It is so fucking cute, I make him say it all day. After I change his diaper, he points to it and says �ka-KAAAA?� and can�t wait to throw it in the trash. What a thrill, throwing a dirty diaper into the trash, right? The kid LOVES it.
Oh, I took a break from my Tami Hoag book to read "A Child Called It". You ever hear someone yell at a book? Well, I did. Damn did that story PISS ME OFF. Not even just the mother, who was just a pyscho piece of shit who should rot in hell, but the father? Just watched her treat his kid like that? And blame THE KID? Truly a piece of shit. I think Dave had ADHD big time, just judging from what he wrote. I know an ADHD kid is tough to deal with, but COME ON. Did that bitch ever go to jail? I read "The Lost Boy" last year (it was around, that's why I read out of order) and can't remember if she did, but I'm thinking she didn't. Which is an atrocity considering what she did to him. Dad deserved jail time, too, as far as I'm concerned. Fucking letting your wife put him in a closed bathroom with clorox and ammonia gas. Watch her make him sit in a cold bathtub for hours. Seeing that your kid has been STABBED and is bleeding PROFUSELY and sending him to do the dishes before Mom gets upset. Piece of shit. Why did I read that? I'm so happy for Dave, though, for doing so much with his life anyway, and to share it with others. No one deserves that.
I am frickin� freezing, Mr. Bigglesworth. Finally, fall is here. I was wondering when it was going to show up. I just closed the windows in the house the other day. Most of them, anyway. I hate the closing of the windows. I love fresh air in the house.
Anyway, I�m out. Anything else can wait until my next update.
Ciao!