"How you like me now?! Huh? How you like me now, fishie? Oh, yeah, that's right you can't talk - cause you don't have a head!"

Here�s a question. One of Hub�s friend�s moms died on Tuesday. The wake was yesterday. Hub went last night. The funeral is today at 11:00, and there�s not another wake today.

Anyway. He came home from the wake last night around 8:00 and asked me to send flowers to the funeral home today. I think it�s kind of late, don�t you? I mean, shouldn�t the flowers be there for the wake? Of course, I know nothing of this stuff, but I think sending flowers on the day of the funeral is not a good idea.

I mean, instead, wouldn�t it be better to send a sympathy card? Maybe make a charitable donation in her name? It would eliminate the clutter of more frickin� flowers, too.

Obviously, the flowers aren�t going to be sent, but I�d like to know this for future reference.

You�d think if Hub wanted to be Mr. Nice Guy, he�d have thought of this, oh, I don�t know, YESTERDAY? No. That would take him out of his characteristic �day late and a dollar short� style.

As usual, I could bitch about him forever.

I will share, however, how I chose to deal with his fucking shit all over the driveway. He cleaned out his truck the other day. What a nightmare. It was full of shit. Shit everywhere. As if his ass exploded.

Anyway, he had some friggin� patio block left over from a job he did. Probably from July. Who knows. And he just puts it in a pile by the house, where, if I don�t bitch about it, will just stay there until it becomes a natural part of the landscape.

So. I thought, if I keep them visible to him (AND bitch about it, too), he�ll get rid of them. So I moved them all over to where he parks and built a rock formation. It was a wall. A pyramid wall. I should have taken a picture, and I apologize for not doing so.

(I got the idea for the rock formation because I�ve seen some �Thumbs Downs� in the Hudson/Litchfield News about people going into other people�s yards and building rock formations. Which is just funny, if you ask me).

Of course, it was pointed out to me by Beavis that it was patio block and not wall block. Like I care. I told him, �It�s not pyramid block, either, but I built one, didn�t I?�.

It was pretty lame. It was like as if Hub did the books for the business one day. Out of his element. So was I.

Anyway. What happened to my creation? Motherfucker hit it when he came home. Ran right into (�I did know that was there�). Again, further evidence that he doesn�t have �bad luck� when it comes to vehicles, but rather he destroys them. Like I needed more evidence.

I�m going to cart Nina�s ass around town this morning. Josh has a physical, she has an ultrasound, and then she has to sign up for drunky class so she can get her license back. Which she lost it over a year ago, only now it�s a lot more difficult for her to get around not being right in town. Anyway. Nina is one of those people who has no problem asking for assistance. All the time.

I think Beavis disowned me. I was looking at his shorts last night. He was wearing gym shorts, and the boxers of course were showing. I remember when that style first came out, I was still basically a kid, so it doesn�t bother me too much. But when it started was because they�d wear their pants so baggy, they fell, and the boxers would just stay up. Since he was wearing gym shorts with an elastic waist (that fit, btw), I could only assume that he purposely hiked the boxers over his shorts. So I asked him if that�s what he did. And then I demonstrated with my own pants. Only, I wear a thong, and I don�t know why but 14 year old boys don�t like to even think about their moms in a thong, much less see it.

So, he was mortified with that. He went into the living room, turned his back and Hub seized the moment and pants-ed him. Boxers and all. Not only did I get to see his skinny ass, but his balls as well. Holy fucking funny. He hiked his shorts right back up. One thing about Beavis, I think he would DIE if anyone saw his package. I haven�t since he was 6 years old. So it�s a running joke around here, his modesty.

�I saw your balls, Beavis! Honey, I saw Beavis�s balls for the first time in 8 years!�.

Beavis was totally serious when he said, �I have no parents. You are NOT my parents�.

That poor kid. I can�t wait to see how he turns out as an adult. Ought to be interesting.

And finally. I thought a water spout was where you hook the hose up to outside? Or any faucet type thingie? That�s why I came to the conclusion that someone turned the water on. Plus, the sun came out really fast after that, too. I still think someone tried to sabotage that spider. Poor little thing. It was just an itsy-bitsy spider, for God�s sake.

I wonder how Imadad is doing right now. He was supposed to be high-tailing it out of there the other day. I hope he didn�t get stuck in all that traffic with his wife in the car. All I could think of watching the coverage of the mass exodus out of Houston was poor him, stuck in the car with his wife, who would most likely be bitching non-stop.

Okay, I�ve got to get moving along. Have a lovely weekend, everyone.

Adios.

Listening to: Pet Shop Boys. I think.

Currently reading: "Guilty As Sin" Tami Hoag

Thinking about: Breakfast. Yummy. Food.