Hey! I have never had any complaints in the poonani odor department!

Disclaimer: Some of the shit that I am going to bitch about here is in keeping with my recent revelation that I am a bad person. So, Don�t feel the need to leave nasty comments about it. I know.

Not that I�ve ever had any problem with nasty comments here, except one random retard months ago.

But anyway.

Yeah. Sometimes there are just kids that I just plain old do not like. I suppose maybe I carried this over from childhood, who knows. I knew plenty of kids that I didn�t like when I was a kid.

But the kids I don�t like are the disrespectful little fuckers who defy adults left and right. My goodness. There is nothing more unbearable than a fucking kid (and I�m talking young ones, like 10 and younger) who thinks they can get away with being disrespectful to adults. I�m constantly reminding Beavis, who is 14, that even if he doesn�t like a person or what they say, if they�re an adult you have to respect their wishes. Deal with it. I mean with the exceptions of, say, child molesters or people who are abusive. You know what I mean.

I�m teaching the little ones this, too. Mickey needs remedial lessons, especially since he�s been hanging out with Josh, Nina�s son. There is a kid who just irritates the shit out of me. OMG. Argumentative (especially with grown ups), whiny, liar, and fucking defiant as all hell. I don�t argue with him on account of the fact that arguing with children is just ridiculous (learned that one the hard way with Beavis who became incredibly argumentative at the age of 8), but to watch him talk to Nina sometimes I just want to pop him in the head and say, �Kid! You�re fucking five years old! Shut the fuck up!�

(A digression--I�m so glad I�m locked up and can just vent this shit out, let me tell ya)

I took Nina today to get a social security card for her daughter. The kid is 18 months old and doesn�t have a social security number, but we�re talking about Nina, here. Let�s not forget that the kid�s father�s name Is not on the birth certificate either, even though he was there when she was born and has been since, because of when she was discharged from the hospital at night there was no one there to put Jay�s name on it, and they just haven�t had a chance to get to city hall in the last 18 months??? That sentence is completely grammatically incorrect, I know this. But the story I was writing doesn�t make sense, just because it doesn�t make sense to me at all. But it�s Nina. She is the result of severe unmedicated ADD and too much partying too young. I suppose I�m the light version of that. Who knows. I know I have it together a bit more than her, that�s for sure.

I mean I still like her just the same, she�s just being herself.

Anyway. Where I was going with that was, we got to the Social Security Administration office in Nashua, and I waited in the car with the kids. Yay for me, right?

Josh insisted there was a movie called �Revenge of Yoda�. Mickey asked me, and I said, no, there�s no Revenge of Yoda. Unless it�s one of those cartoon ones. Nope, Josh had to insist there was one, and it wasn�t a cartoon. I mean, just to be a shit. He whispered to Mickey, �There really is a movie called Revenge of Yoda. I have it at home�. Whatever, kid. You�re either stupid or an asshole or both. Okay so all I really said was �whatever� cuz, like I said, I don�t argue with kids.

But it�s when shit like that happens and then Mickey starts acting defiant. Doing things that I asked him not to do, like, whipping the lap belt around. Nice way to whack someone in the head. I had to ask him three times to stop. It was like a test. I hate when they test.

Kids can be so damn irritating. Even if I have three kids of my own, I still can totally relate to people who choose to remain �child-free�. Fuck it, I can relate to people who say they just plain hate kids! But, really, how can people give child-free people shit? Cuz they�re SMART?!? I mean, if you know you don�t want kids, then don�t have them. What the hell is wrong with that? It�s better than having a kid you don�t want. The kid gets the shit end of the stick. And it certainly does not affect my ability to parent my kids.

I always get a kick of those people who think they�re kid is the cutest thing in the world and that the whole world thinks so, too. Guess what? No. But that doesn�t mean that your kid isn�t cute or that many folks will really think so, and that you shouldn�t think he�s the cutest bestest kid ever and love him the best you can. It just means that not everyone is going to agree, and maybe they don�t think it�s so cute when that kid keeps trying to play fucking peek-a-boo with you from his booth at a restaurant and all you want to do Is finish your meal or enjoy your conversation or whatever else might be disturbed by the annoying kid who�s parents just assume that you think he�s so cute, too!

I know you�re following me, here. I can name the people on my buddy list who are reading this right now and thinking, �I agree!�. Cuz you all are as evil as I am, admit it.

Nina�s friend Margaret told her that she doesn�t care for Mickey. Actually she might have flat out said she doesn�t like him. Which, obviously, this is not someone my kid will be around unattended, but I can see why she wouldn�t like him much. If you have no patience for kids, Mickey will be the first on the list of kids who annoy you. He�s a spoiled little shit. My fault. Whatever. It doesn�t mean he�s any less lovable to me.

(It�s not worth getting bent out of shape over. I take it from where it comes. You should see how her kids turned out. Her oldest daughter is 21 or so, has a little baby, which isn�t bad, but she�s also a heroin addict. And she was the better of the two. The younger daughter is 18 and spent most of her teen and pre-teen years in group homes and juvenile hall. We call our�s YDC-Youth Detention Center. All the cool kids go. So. Whatever. Ya know?)

Anyway. I can�t stand Josh but he�s lucky that my nephew is his brother and Nina is his mom because I put up with him because of it. I mean, he�s basically family in a big roundabout kinda way.

My nephew Jaegan is pretty irritating , too. He lies up a storm. Not just the �cover your ass� lies, but big huge total bullshit stories. This was heard coming out of Minnie�s mouth recently: �You know all I hear coming out of your mouth? LIES!�. (She rocks). He�s way hyper, like Ned was. And has a problem with wax build up In his ears, maybe, cuz he doesn�t listen for shit. But. He�s my nephew. So I deal with it.

Now. The kid next door? Eric, who is the son of big Eric, my neighbor that�s all rough and sexy? Holy shit that kid is a menace. I never have seen a kid that bad. He can�t be trusted around small animals. Seriously. He smashed a salamander earlier this year because the kid who caught the salamander pissed him off. He�s like obsessed with killing and hurting. He�s the fucking reason I go to the bus stop every morning. No one else does, and Minnie wants me there because of Eric. I mean, mini-Jeffrey Dahmer much? It�d be almost poetic if the kid ended up gay but I doubt it. Big Eric puts his foot down, but rarely supervises him outside. The kid really needs meds. I told Big Eric that when we went over his house after Andrea�s wedding to smoke and he was pretty adverse to the idea. Whatever. If he was my kid, he�d be on a high dose of Adderral. And in counseling. And living with his father! I swear he�s going to be a serial killer. Around the hood, he�s known amongst all the adults as �Dennis the Menace�.

Monday afternoon at the Halloween party, he was dressed as the Grim Reaper or something, complete with sickle. I hate to see that kid with anything resembling a weapon and will kick his ass out of my yard when he has them. Because someone WILL get hurt. Anyway, Nina�s mom, Pat, was dressed as a witch, mask and all. Eric walked right up to her with his sickle, and stuck it, pointy end, right into her mask! She ended up going to the hospital and had a scratched lens. WTF? I told Big Eric, of course. I knew he�d take care of it and take it seriously, but still? Your kid needs help. There�s �Boys Will Be Boys� and then there�s �Menace 2 Society�.

OMG, about Beavis and trick or treating. First, have I mentioned his height lately? He�s pushing six feet. Seriously, we measured him two weeks ago and he was 5�11 AND A HALF! He might be six feet by now, the way he�s been eating. Yeah, so that might have been the reason for some of the comments about his being too old.

And. The last time I trick or treated, I was 11. After that, I was far too cool and mature (according to adolescent me, who was a moron, btw) to trick or treat.

And? Could I be more stupid? Nobody gave them toilet paper! How dumb am I? They brought the damn TP. Sometimes I�m a total retard. How could I be any more mental?

I love the new song by The Strokes. And, how cool is it that there�s a band called Morning Wood? Brilliant.

Okie doke. I�m gonna end this now. Me and my kid hating, retard self have shit to do.

Listening to: "Precious" DM

Currently reading: let's just leave this blank

Thinking about: Chopping broccoli. She's chopping broccoli...chopping broccoliiiiiii....