Jackie's Sunday Rant

Tomorrow is Mickey�s annual visit to the cardiologist. Well, I�m hoping that after tomorrow we will return back to annual visits. Which I think he should, and hopefully the cardiologist won�t get all bent out of shape and have him go through a bunch of tests for no reason again.

Anyway, I will not likely be able to update tomorrow, hence the Sunday update. Although, i don�t know how far I�m going to go with this. I�ve got the neighbor�s kid in here playing with Minnie, and she just came right up and started staring at and reading the monitor. Um, how about NO? WTF. Kids.

My day has been such a fucking joke so far. It�s been mostly all irritating since fucking 7:00 am. Yesterday, Nina asked if I could give her mom a ride home to Milford later. Well, duh, it�s Saturday and I was drinking beer, I wasn�t driving anywhere. And, by the way. Nina has really been irritating me lately, I love her to death, but enough with the fucking favor requests already. You know how it is when almost every time you hear from certain people, they are always looking for a favor? And so when you see that they are calling (like I have caller ID on the landline and on my cell I gave her a special ring tone) and you just think �GAWD WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY WANT NOW?!?�. Well, I�m at that point right now.

Allow me to digress on the story of the mom�s ride home. I�ve been holding back about Nina when I was unlocked, but I�m locked now, so let�s roll. So, like Thursday, she had asked me if I�d watch the kids at 3:00 so she could go to the doctor. Life is such a big production for her just to go to the doctor, ho-ley. She�s got no license, so she needs a ride, and she can�t be bothered with taking the kids, so she needs a babysitter, too. Well, she found out recently that the clinic will call her a cab and Medicaid will pay for it (our tax dollars at work), so she can just dump the kids off with me and go to her appointment. Well, anyway, she had an appointment Thursday afternoon, which actually really works for me because I�ve already got Colin & Makayla in the PMs so it�s not like cutting into my quiet morning me me me time, which really bugs me at times. So, Thursday rolls around and Nina and the kids are sick, so she cancels the appointment. She cancels a lot of appointments. And she asked me if I could watch them if she rescheduled it, and I said yeah and the afternoons work best. Well. She called me later and had rescheduled for Monday morning, first thing, even. That�s the most fucking inconvenient time for me, just so you know. Only this week, more inconvenient, as that is when Mickey�s appointment is with the cardiologist. So, sorry, but I can�t do that. She was kinda like, �oh�, like I was inconveniencing her, and saying, �oh because I have to go there as soon as possible, that�s the first appointment they had available, I have to go because I�ve missed appointments� yadda yadda yadda. Like I�m going to reschedule Mickey�s appointment or something. Which, not. (And if I did? Which, I would NOT, btw, but if I did? I guarantee you that Monday morning would roll around and she would reschedule and I�d have rescheduled for nothing and then I�d be pissed. Which is why I would never)

And, also, finding someone else to babysit isn�t an option? I mean, if going to the doctors is that important, then how about looking for someone else to babysit? Like, Margaret, for example. But, no, instead, she was going to reschedule yet again to another time when I can babysit for her.

Favors, favors, favors. Can you pick me up some cigarettes? Can you lend me $10 until Jay gets home? Do you have any poultry seasoning? Can you babysit? Can I have a ride? Do you have any juice boxes for Jaegan�s snack at school? Do you have any snacks for Jaegan�s snack at school (OMG, That time, I grabbed a bag of frickin� fruit snacks and he fucking complained that the snack wasn�t big enough! Yah! Kid, you�re lucky I�m giving you anything, WTF)?

And, right now, I�m feeling fat, yucky and very reclusive. I�m like a social vegetable, I just want to be alone and not bothered. I do this sometimes. And she wants to hang out all the time. Which, you know, there Is nothing wrong with that, I just don�t feel sociable at all right now. I don�t want to go over and try the meatballs that Jay�s mom made and I don�t want to go over for apple pie a la mode. I�m not into going over and smoking weed all day. All day. She still asks me if I want to at 8:30 in the morning. I�m too old for that shit anymore. Maybe If I just want to lay around all day doing absolutely nothing, but truth be told I don�t have days like those, unless I�m majorly hung over, and those days are like once a year. Nina lays around most days and does shit, which i just can�t. I might not be the happy fucking homemaker filling every moment of my day with baking and cleaning, but at least I can throw a few loads of laundry around and put the dishes in the dishwasher here and there. Maybe throw some food at Mickey or something.

Anyway, so back to mom�s ride home. Nina�s mom Pat. Oh, she�s every bit the piece of work that Nina is and more. So, I couldn�t give Pat a ride home because I was drinking a few beers. So, they were like, well, how about tomorrow morning? And I said, Yeah I could do it when I drop the kids at Sunday School at 9:00. Oh no, that didn�t work because Pat starts her first day at Dunkin Donuts and she had to be there for 7:45. *big deep calming breath*. She needs to leave like at 7:00. Okay, so I was drinking like I said, and was like fine, I�ll do it.

Yeah. Sure. 7:00 am on a Sunday morning after I drank the better part of a 12 pack the evening before. Great fucking idea. But, I�m not an asshole, so I dragged my ass out of bed around 6:30, got dressed, made coffee, blah blah blah. All the while feeling *slightly under the weather* and, oh, did I mention the snow I woke up to? Yeah, a nice dusting of snow covered the ground this morning. Fresh enough and early enough to have the bare minimum if that of plowing on the roads.

I went outside, started the van and everything. Then at fucking 7:01 Nina called and said that Dunkin Donuts called Pat and told her that she didn�t have to go to work until Tuesday. I don�t know, this is the kind of shit that happens to these people. So, now I�m fucking up and wide fucking awake an hour earlier than I needed to be, for nothing. Because they figured, even if I was up and ready to go, that it was just too early to go out right then, and they�d take me up on the offer of a ride at 9:00. Fucking fabulous.

So I told them I was leaving at 9:00 on the dot. Because otherwise they�ll make me late and that In itself is irritating as all fuck. Well, 9:02 rolls around and Nina calls and wants to know if I can drive my van over there and pick Pat up since she had a big box full of shit and didn�t want to walk with it. WTF! Anything else ?!? Does your ass need wiping or anything? Maybe I could sacrifice my first born for you or something?

Anyway. So i went over and picked her up and she smelled like fucking cigarette smoke like you wouldn�t believe. And then I get down to the road and guess what? Not only is there snow, but It�s fucking slippery as all fuck and my antilock brakes are going bananas and not making any progress towards stopping at all.

Yay, fun ride to drop the kids off at Sunday School. At least Dick was there so I didn�t have to stress too much about getting back exactly on time to get them, because I knew the trip would likely take the entire hour and then some in that weather.

Pat fucking did not shut up the whole way there. She can fucking talk. She�s the type who talks and talks and talks so much that you can�t get a word in edgewise. Seriously. I don�t know how the hell she knows anything about anybody else because whenever I see her her fucking mouth is going a mile a minute. Much ado about nothing. Nothing! She says nothing and then she says it over and over and over again. I have no idea what the fuck she was talking about the whole way out there. I do know, that she smelled like a fucking wet, dirty ashtray the whole way there.

Anyway, so I finally get rid of her, and I drove back to the church. As I was pulling up to the church, I saw a fire truck out front. I got all jittery and knew, I just knew that it involved my kids. I knew. Ya know how you just know?

So, I got out of the van and there�s Dick and the kids. And I�m like, �what the hell is going on?� and he says, �Mickey pulled the fire alarm�. Oh funny! I mean, yeah I was pretty mortified and was waiting for them to say I had to foot the bill. I mean Dick. He could have that bill. But it was funny because HA! A nice little visit with the reality of the kids, ey, Dick? A little adventure for your oh so brief little times with them, huh?

Anyway, my cousin, who�s husband is a fire fighter, who has a scanner, said they sent out three trucks for that call, two engines and one tower truck. Nice. And, someone at the church reset the alarm, which is why the fire department had to go in the first place, so the church could have just called and said it was all set, so the fire fighters were a little peeved about that.

Anyway, then Dick wanted to take the kids out for breakfast, and since he has no working vehicle right now, I took them. Which, was probably the least stressful time of my day. One, I was starving and really wanting some bacon and eggs. Plus, he more or less handles the kids when we�re together with them, so that�s cool. Oh, and he paid for it. Which is the least he could do. He still hasn�t paid dime one and while this is fucking frustrating as all hell, I�m going to be cool right now because the kids really love him and they love that we get along and I�m just not up for raising them while hating him. Or whatever.

I can�t start another paragraph with anyway. So. Then I drop him off after and come home. Which just gets me all spun up again. Because Hub and Jay were building the lovely shed addition from hell, and Hub had a fire going (because it snowed all damn day) and everyone Is In my backyard. Beavis, Shawn, and then Jaegan, Josh, this other kid Jimmy and the hot neighbor�s kid, who is a devil�s spawn from hell and is lucky that I find his daddy so incredibly yummy and sexy or else I�d never let the little bastard anywhere near my yard. Yay, the troublemaker crew.

So, then I get in the house and there�s basically a fucking snow bank in my kitchen by the door, because obviously people have been in and out and in and out of my house. And there�s a winter jacket on my table and one on the floor. Again, what the fuck!

Well, I was in dire need of hitting the bathroom, as I�d been cramping up for like half an hour and needed to release the evil. So, I went to the bathroom and I�m in there, and then the fucking door starts opening again! Beavis needed his gloves or whatever, but in the meantime, Jimmy and Jaegan are coming in with him! NO! Why do we all need to come in and track more shit in especially when I�d just like to enjoy my shit IN FUCKING PEACE for one second now GET THE FUCK OUT!

Spun up does not even begin to describe how I was feeling at this point. And said sexy neighbor must think I am totally out of my mind because I can�t tell you how many times I have been known to yell, �JUST LET ME SHIT/PISS IN FUCKING PEACE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!�. There is nothing more annoying than not even being able to get a moment�s peace in the loo.

Well, then hub comes In and says he�s gotta go plow for Litchfield. And he�s gonna leave the fire going and Beavis is going to watch it. And I�m like what about all the fucking kids in the yard? He says Beavis and Shawn are going to watch them, which is fucking hilarious as all hell. I mean, why not just fucking throw the damn kids in the fire now instead of waiting for them to fall in under the �watch� (using my fingers as quotes, there, people) of Beavis, the poster child for ADHD.

Well, first, Jaegan jumps into the play gym which is serving as a storage area for the kids� outside toys, and supposedly Hub is going to put a tarp on it to keep the kids out. Jaegan is my nephew but as a kid he really annoys the living shit out of me. So, I have to yell at him to get the fuck out, which of course, he doesn�t do right away. Rrr.

Then that�s over, and I look out and Jaegan and Josh have sticks, and they�re putting them into the fucking fire, lighting them up and walking around with them! Hello! Yeah, Beavis is watching them, alright! So I yell out, knock that fucking shit off right now (okay, that�s not *exactly* verbatim) and what does Jaegan do? He fucking goes right back and sticks the stick in the fire!

Oh my god and what the fuck and just shoot me now, please.

Ugh. And now, as I write this, word is being a fucking retard and fucking everything up, so if you see typos and shit that doesn�t make sense it�s not my fault really, it�s this dumbass computer.

Oh and then! And then! I know, you want to say �no and then!� and but yes, there is an and then! Yeah, Butthead has this fucking little girlie friend type person who insists on calling him EVERY FUCKING SECOND OF EVERY WEEKEND DAY. She called the first time at like noon and at the third call around 2:00, I answered. She talked wicked fast, like: �hiisbrentthere?� and I said, �no can I take a message� so you can STOP FUCKING CALLING ME EVERY FIVE SECONDS and she says �yeahcanutellhimheathercalled� like at 90 miles an hour. And then she kept fucking calling! Every fucking thirty minutes. And the sound of that phone ringing today is like nails on the fucking chalkboard to me. UGH! Anyway, Beavis came home and after the second time she called within the ten minutes he was in, he picked up the phone and yelled in his big man �get out of my yard!� voice; �BRENT IS NOT HOME STOP CALLING HERE!!!�. Fucking kid. And WTF? I think I should tell Jen just to get her after this Heather bitch who keeps calling. Maybe they can have a meeting in the parking lot afterschool.

My good news of the weekend is that I decorated the shit out of my house. I go apeshit every winter and totally overboard with the Christmas decorations. That�s what I spent yesterday doing. Now, when you walk into my house, it just screams, �MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS, GODDAMNIT!�. I took pictures, I might even post them at some point.

Now, however, I am feeling much better and well vented. And I�m making homemade soup again. And my daughter thinks I�m nuts because I think that Josh from �Drake and Josh� is really cute now that he�s lost some weight. I guess Drake is supposed to be the cute one.

Anyway. Barely a word of my step kids. Nice, huh?

Have a lovely Monday, all.

Listening to: Bob Seger doing the Little Drummer Boy.

Currently reading: "Dust To Dust" Tami Hoag

Thinking about: Grumble. Clonipin, Xanax, something like that would be nice on days like these.