"This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'"

There was something in the air yesterday, I swear. I don�t know what. But let me tell ya, what a friggin� day. Allow me to share.

I suppose I should start off with the latest on Beavis and Cornholio, since that started earliest in the day. Beavis went down to the bus stop in the morning, and Cornholio started with him right away. I missed this because I didn�t watch down there, I was busy getting Minnie ready for school. Anyway, Cornholio just started punching Beavis, and Beavis was saying that he wasn�t going to fight him at the bus stop, but Cornholio was like punching him in the neck and so Beavis punched right in the chest, hard enough to knock Cornholio down. Then, with � to add a touch of Beavis� (according to Beavis), he took off Cornholio�s shoe and threw it into the street. I guess Cornholio kept trying to fight him even without his shoe, and Beavis said something to him about not wanting to fight and �I AM going to DC this year�.

Then, they got on the bus and Cornholio was punching him still, in the neck, and Beavis said, �Cornholio, that doesn�t even hurt so stop it. You don�t have any friends back here [Beavis sits at the back of the bus, a seat he�s wanted since he was in the 6th grade and finally got with seniority] so just go away�. I guess the bus driver saw Cornholio hitting Beavis and called him to the front of the bus.

I have to note this. Beavis�s real name, for those who might not know, is �Brendan�. Cornholio�s real name (I know, you�re shocked that Cornholio is not his REAL name, right?) is �Brandon�. Imagine how much fun this shit is to talk about with the real names.

Anyway, then Hub was in out with the plowing and he came home and was chatting with my hot neighbor that I have a major major crush on I�m telling you he makes me all nutty, Eric, about the other night�s drama. Hub and Eric are quite chummy. Eric cannot stand Hot Karl on account of shit that�s gone down (because Hot Karl has had issues with every one in the neighborhood. I tell ya, he *really* needs to find a more consistent pot connection), so he was all saying how he would punch Hot Karl If he was Hub, and that he would love to take the snowmobile for a spin down there sometime to see if he�ll start shit with him. See, I�ve said before, one of the things I find so hot about him is that he�s rough. Mmmm.

So, then later, Beavis got off the bus and Cornholio didn�t say much or do much to him. I guess he did ask if Mr. Bowen, one of the vice principal�s at the school, had talked to him. Beavis said no and then Cornholio told him to �just say nothing happened�. Whatever that�s about.

So, then Beavis has this great idea to take the snowmobile down to the bus stop to meet Minnie from her bus. Also coming off the bus is Cornholio�s younger step bro and sis, Jimmy and Kaili. Jimmy is ten and wicked dramatic, and is all over this fucking drama. He�s kind of slow, too, I think. He�s the kid in the neighborhood who�s knocking on your door at 8:00 in the morning on the weekend, the one who comes over on major holidays (like Christmas, and yes he most certainly did this year) looking for your kids to play with him. It�s a running joke in the neighborhood that Jimmy�s parents hate him. Hot Karl is Jimmy�s �real� dad. And Kaili is my second least favorite kid in the neighborhood, next to Eric�s heathen of a kid. She�s an evil little bee-yotch.

I was outside, too, with my camera taking pictures. I haven�t done that in a while, and I really fucking miss it. While Beavis was getting the snowmobile ready to go down the hill, I found a bug. A bug! Right on the snow, alive. It looked like a mosquito but wasn�t, but still. I was so excited. I was looking around and found quite a few bugs. I was all excited. And I realize that sounds pathetic, but oh well.

So, we went down to the bus stop to wait. Then Eric came out. Let me tell you something about him. He just makes me crazy. I think he is so hot. I am totally sweet on him. He was wearing his sunglasses, and I noticed he has an earring (maybe two, but obviously I�m not THAT observant), and plus he was wearing a hat and he has this goatee. That, and he has a cute, young face but his hair is all salt and pepper and that is just so fucking sexy to me oh my god. He just looked really nice. Plus his voice. Rough. Let�s just say, if I wasn�t married. Fuckin� A. I would be hitting on him until I got him in the sack. Over and over and over again. But that would be it. My interest in him is purely sexual. Many, many times while having sex with Hub, I have pretended he was Eric.

Anyway, enough of that. So Eric came out and he wanted to take a spin on the snowmobile, plus the kids have a new bus driver and for some reason, the other day, she wouldn�t stop at our stop if there wasn�t an adult there, why, I don�t friggin� know. Not that it matters or is relevant to the story.

So, Jimmy was at the bus stop waiting , too, cuz he wasn�t in school yesterday, and he was giving Beavis all kinds of shit. I walked down and he stopped. Anyway, Minnie got off the bus, Beavis gave her a ride up to the house, and then Eric went for a spin down the road on the snowmobile.

Then I was up in the back yard, Minnie had gone in for a snack but was coming back out, Beavis was doing something with the snowmobile, and then Nina calls and wants to know if I�ll watch Jaegan and Josh so her and Jay could take the baby to the doctor. And Julie would go with them. I said fine but send their snow clothes cuz I�m outside.

Right after that, I can hear guys out front by the road yelling, �You got a fucking problem?!?� and I could see Jay�s truck pulled into the driveway. It sounded like a bunch of people yelling, actually. All kinds of traffic started to back up behind them. At first we thought it was Hot Karl yelling but it wasn�t. Jay told me later what happened was, back in Pelham, which is the town next to Hudson, this guy had slammed on his brakes in front of him or something, I don�t know, but somehow or another he ended in front of the guy and decided to do the same to him. Jay is one of those guys who doesn�t actively pursue road rage, but when he happens upon it, is more than happy to participate. You know what I mean, I know you do. So the guy followed him here. When Jay pulled into our driveway, the guy just stopped in the middle of the road and got out of his car. Our road is a country road, but it�s very busy, especially at almost 4 o�clock in the afternoon. So, he stopped, all �you got a fucking problem, yadda yadda yadda, I�ve got a little girl in the car, blah blah�, and some of the people who were stopped behind him were all �get the fuck out of the way�, and Jay was all, �Pull into the driveway so I can beat the fuck out of you�, but the guy finally ended up just leaving.

Then Butthead was home, and he and Beavis wanted to ride the snowmobile. Whatever. I had all the kids, Minnie, Mickey, Jaegan and Josh, and they were going to go sledding. Then Jennifer and Little Eric next door came out, too.

I joined in sledding after a few minutes, cuz It is just so damn fun. However, the kids were being a bunch of assholes. Holy shit. Pissing and moaning and nitpicking and shit. Butthead had built a little jump on the hill, so they had to take turns going down and it was all �You�re cutting! Whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch�. Plus Little Eric, he�s a fucking little shit, always hitting and shit and being an ass.

At some point, Big Eric came out to hang out. Looking just as scrumptious as he had just a little earlier. He had to put Little Eric in his place a few times cuz he would not stop putting his hands on the other kids and throwing snowballs and shit. Well, then, I guess he was pushing Minnie around (I didn�t see that part) and all of a sudden Big Eric totally picked him up, whacked him, put him face first in the snow and then took him in the house. Now, normally, a show of aggression like that would be upsetting, but personally, I was happy to see it. Little Eric is just that kind of kid who needs a beating. He�s that bad.

So then Jennifer was all blaming Minnie for Big Eric beating up Little Eric for not being able to protect herself. Seriously. I got sick of that fast and called the kids in.

Well, while all this was going on, Beavis and Cornholio had an �incident� down the driveway. I guess Hot Karl and his wife and the girls had gone out somewhere and Julie was watching Jimmy and Cornholio. Speaking of Julie, it turns out that she was not in fact the one who called the cops, it was the new people down the end of the driveway who we don�t know well at all but they do seem kind of weird, in a �freak cult� kind of way. And, Butthead said she came out to talk to him and was cool, just asked that they watch out for the kids and keep the speed down.

Which is reasonable communication which is something that this neighborhood could have used a long time ago and there wouldn�t be any fucking stupid drama around here! Instead of calling the cops, *try* reasoning first. Ya know? I don�t know why she�s suddenly figured this out, but evidently she has. Maybe she got her pussy licked.

While Beavis and Butthead were riding the snowmobile by, Cornholio came out of his house yelling. He started punching Beavis and pulled the helmet off of his head. All while Beavis was still on the snowmobile. So, at this point, of course, Beavis has no choice. It�s ON.

He pretty much beat the shit out of Cornholio. He actually had him on the ground, by the neck, holding him down, and said, �Cornholio, I�m doing this for your own good. Stay down. Stay down. You need to go back into the house and knock it off�.

Isn�t he great? I love that kid.

So, then after he and Butthead came up and I knew they fought because Beavis said, �Well, the cops will be here any minute now� and Butthead was all, �That was awesome!!!�. They both told me about it on the way in the house.

Butthead went back out for another ride and Beavis was saying, �That was hard, Mom�. Not the fight, because he �won�, but it really bothered him. I left the room for a sec and when I saw him again, he was in the kitchen crying. I felt so bad. He said he hated that he had to do that, and that he really beat Cornholio up and how they were best friends until a few days ago. I felt so bad. I told him that he did what he had to do, Cornholio was asking for it. I�ve raised him to know that if someone hits you, you hit them back. It sounds archaic, but kids suck, man. At the same time, if you hit someone first and get the shit kicked out of you, you deserved it. If you�re gonna go around putting your hands on other people, you are going to get what�s coming to you.

Meanwhile, While Butthead was riding the snowmobile, he had occasion to speak to Julie again, as she had seen the whole thing. She told Butthead that Cornholio was looking for it and got what was coming to him, and that she was going to tell Hot Karl and his wife exactly what happened when they got back. As opposed to whatever version Cornholio might present. Of course, she couldn�t be 100% cool, she had to say that if there was another fight like that at her house, she�d call the cops. Cuz of the kids. Please. Her�s is too busy sitting on his fat ass in front of the PS2 with his hand in a bag of fucking chips to be affected by the violence outside.

Oh yeah, more of Hudson�s Police log was in the paper today and let me tell you, the cop calling fun continues. I actually saw a call where �police responded to a call of a loose Chihuahua�. A loose Chihuahua! How incredibly scary. And I saw a call for a loose cat. A cat! Come on! Beavis tells me that it�s a weather thing, that people aren�t calling because it�s scary, but because it�s cold. Okay. Maybe. But still.

Anyway, yeah, remember if you will, that when I was re-counting the events of the other day, with the cops and all that crap, that perhaps Hub wasn�t the one who should have gone out to talk to them. Yeah, that�s pretty true. He starts as much drama around here as anyone else. He thrives on it. It really bugs me. Am I like that, and just don�t know it? Who knows. He really needs to stop waving his dick around about the driveway and how he �takes care of it� and acting like that gives him the right to do whatever he wants in it. That really bothers me because that doesn�t frickin� means he owns it and can do whatever he wants in it, ya know? I keep asking him to cut the shit with that, but he keeps saying that when the subject of the driveway comes up.

Anyway. Yeah. Then a little later, the real estate company that owns the house that Julie and Hot Karl live in called me. At first she was asking fro Hub regarding the driveway, but then she started asking me about the snowmobile, and she was asking that they not drive it down that way and turn around in the driveway there. The tenants are bitching that they�re driving �top speeds� and 40 mph, which, sorry, I�m out there too and I know they�re going about 20 mph. Just to make that clear. Anyway, I guess they�re all concerned for the kids down there (who aren�t out at 5:30 at night right now since it�s dark then, but whatever), which is a good point. And one that a simple fucking phone call or a trip up to talk to me would have taken for me to get them to cut the shit! Seeing as how I�m a fairly reasonable person. I hadn�t thought of it that way because when they are out on the snowmobile, if the kids are out, I�m out there, too. And we know that a big problem around here is the lack of other parents--Hot Karl being a glaring example--who do the same thing.

Anyway, I told her they�d knock it off. And after thinking about it, yeah. That snowmobile isn�t insured and if one of those kids does get hurt, and knowing that they are stupid enough to get in the way of it, then we�re liable. So I talked to Hub about it, and he was all, �Those people are idiots!� and I was like, look, just cut the shit, they �won�. Get over it. I�m thinking about getting the snowmobile back to Andrea and Willy�s house because then it�s just not an issue at all anymore.

So. That�s that. Cornholio was talking to Beavis all mean this morning at the bus stop, but no hitting. Then they did get called into Mr. Bowen�s office, and Beavis gave him brief summary of the issues why Cornholio is so mad at him, but asked to talk to him later about he hitting and the fight and stuff. BY the time they got off the bus today, Cornholio was talking to Beavis like nothing happened, confusing Beavis slightly.

People. Yay.

Anyway. Today�s been quiet and that�s fine with me. Beavis is being kind of a pain in the ass, moping around and shit. Fucking thrilling. He�s going to sleep at Shawn�s tonight. He needs to get away from here for a bit.

Alrighty, enough for me. Have a lovely weekend.

Ciao.

Listening to: "Only" NIN

Currently reading: Dland.

Thinking about: A nap.