"Large fry, mothafucka!"

Damn it's hot today. WTF. I know everybody else is all like "what the hell is up with instant summer?" and I'd like to jump in on that. I have had the pleasure of a slight cough and cold this weekend and I blame it on the fucked up weather changes. The neighbor's kids got a "Slip n Slide" ("Slip N Bleed from the Anus", which we keep calling it over and over, except ELE shortened it to "slip n bleed"), so my kids got to play on it. Good day for it.

Oh and guess what? Mickey had a notice in his folder from school saying that a kid in his class came down with the chicken pox. And he's had the vaccination. So, there's a chance that even though he had the chicken pox vaccine he could get it. Nice fucking waste of a vaccine, chicken pox. When they asked if I wanted to give it to the kids I was kinda like, um? Why? Chicken pox is like a rite of passage for kids, ya know? I remember when I had it, and when Beavis had it. The doctor was like it wasn't like a really "necessary" vaccine but the pressure to make it came from working parents who can't take off ten days of work. I hear that. Plus the school system requires all kids born after 1/1/1993 to be vaccinated. So, there you go. I'm curious to see if they end up with it.

Anyway, fucking fantastic weekend, man. No pictures, because the battery to my camera died and I didn't charge it at all. Lazy ass, not at home, etc. More frickin' small world shit Saturday when we were at Caroline and Wayne's. This woman, the step-mother of Caroline's daughter's boyfriend, came in and looked familiar, and then Hub says to me, "she used to hang around with my sister Tina", and I got curious. So, Hub started a conversation with her about Tina, and then she recognized him, and I asked if she went to the junior high that I went to and she said yes and so I was like, "What's your name?" and she said it and it was totally one of my friends from the old neighborhood, Tracy. I said, "Cut the shit!". OMG, all night we caught each other up on people we'd seen recently, what happened to who, what we'd been up to. I hadn't seen her since probably 1986-ish.

She had an older brother, Leon. Leon was one of the "punker" kids back in the day, when it wasn't common at all. Leon was also extremely gay, mega-ultra gay, if you will. People were so fucking mean to him, I'll never forget that. Looking back, I get a little pissed. I kinda sorta remember something happening in 86 or so at school, something about the school dress code or something? And Leon wanted to make a statement about it so he wore a dress to school. How could I have not been his friend back then? People were all rotten to him and he was all, "I'll still wear a dress, so fuck you". Remember back then, being gay wasn't as accepted as it is now at school. Anyway, Leon is one of those people who I always regret not knowing better. So, I was all asking Tracy about him. She says, "he's gay" and I was like, "No fucking shit". I told her too that I have always felt bad for how he was treated, even though I didn't participate in the meaness. She said he's kind of a mess, he just moved back here from living out in the midwest, had some kind of nervous breakdown and is just chillin', smoking a lot of weed. Oh, I remember one time I was at Tracy's house, we were about 14, and she hooked me up with his gay porn magazines. We looked at them forever. I'll never forget that, I didn't even know until then that there was gay porn.

Oh yeah, it was another 80's flashback night for Jackie. Oh yeah and Tracy's step son, Billy, and her other son, Kyle, who I've met before not knowing I knew their frickin' mommy, were all, "You know our mom?", incredulous and shit.

I love this area. I never want to move. Never.

We ended up spending the night at Caroline and Wayne's cuz we got too drunk and the cab wouldn't take up home with the three little kids cuz of the seating issue. Kind of had a point. I woke up at 6 am Sunday morning. STARVING. The kids woke up right after so it was off to McD's cuz I wanted a breakfast burrito and that was that. I go to the van and Hub had his truck parked behind it in such a way that driving the van would be impossible. He had the dump trailer on the back and I don't do trailers. No, thank you. I will fuck that shit all up, trailer'd be running up on sidewalks and shit. So, I looked at the choices I had, move the truck, nope, get Hub awake and move it, ha ha very funny motherfucker, or walk to McD's. Ding ding ding. We walked. The kids loved it, it was only a ten minute walk, and I got to walk through the old hood since they live a street over from where I grew up.

Then I came back and people started waking up. Most of the party stayed over, including my new, second husband Bobo. I'm telling you, I love him. Pictures don't do him justice, as you can't hear his voice which is just *big huge sigh* unbelieveably sexy. My crush on him is no secret to anyone at all and it's kinda joked about. Like the way I take pictures of him. He seems to have no problem with it whatsoever. It's all good, nothing's gonna happen because I said. I will just crush on him like mad and enjoy it. And flirt. No biggie. Anyway, he wanted a haircut yesterday and Caroline wouldn't let him do it in the bathroom so he had to do it outside, no mirror, so Hub ended up saying I'd do it, so I got to cut his hair and like, touch him and stuff. *tingles*. I cut Hub's hair right after, too.

Anyway, we came home for showers and shit and then headed out to my dad's. Yeah. My dad? Big bomb drop this week. he called me Thursday afternoon, sounding all serious and I was expecting him to tell me someone died. He wanted to decide what day we'd go out there for Memorial Day, and then he says, "It'll probably be the last time you can come out here" and I was all, "Huh?" and then he says: "I'm going to sell my house, move to Manchester and get married". *mushroom cloud*. So, there you go. His GF wanted to make sure that all was okay with me. She's nice, I have no problem with her. I never really have had a problem with any of his GF's, ever, except for one, the first one he had after my mom died. But, she was a douchebag, so I didn't like her. All the rest I've been fine with. Beyond fine if you remember that my friend Linda was his GF.

Anyway, so nice visit with my daddy and step mommy to be. I'm gonna have a step mom. Maybe. This will be the third time he's been engaged in the past twenty five-ish years.

Then it was back to another fucking party last night, at Rick and Amy's. They have this great old house, built around the 1920's or so. Everything is old school, the doors are solid wood, not frickin' hollow like the shit we have here. So, the downstairs bathroom door "sticks". Amy told me that, she was like "use the upstairs bathroom the downstairs one's door sticks", and I was like, "So I could TRAPPED in there?" and she said yup. That shit just cracked my ass up in a silly way, like the words "log" and "sack" do. Easily amused, what can i say. All I could think of was that it would be the best Seinfeld episode, like the whole episode would be being trapped in the bathroom. I was cracking the fuck up, everytime the bathroom came up, like when Caroline's daughter Jessica went in. I waited outside the door and fucking laughed and laughed at the very idea of getting stuck in the bathroom. I was all, "You could get trapped in there and you'd have to wait until the next person has to go, you'd be TRAPPED!!". Fucking laughing my ass off like I was on acid. Then she was trying to get out, and the door was sticking, and I didn't even try to help her, I just laughed and laughed. She had no choice but to laugh.

Then, then! Rick and Amy have this dog, it's a husky. Now, Minnie has never been a big dog fan. We don't have a dog or any kind of regular exposure to any dogs. So, they were playing in the yard, the dog was loose,and the next thing ya know, Minnie is screaming her brains out, and the dog was on top of her. Playing, he wasn't hurting her at all but she was still scared all the same. Scared shitless. But, she wasn't hurt, that's all I cared about. I calmed her down and told her about how dogs play, and how he thought she wanted to play cuz she was yelling and running. She was cool. Rick and Amy were just beside themselves, they felt so bad. That didn't stop me from fucking with them the rest of the night, randomly saying shit like, "Your dog attacked my precious little daughter!".

I was like 12 last night, I swear.

I announced to everyone that I was a polygamist and Bobo was my second husband and we were currently looking into a third. I insisted on sitting on top of a cooler full of beer and making a huge stink everytime I had to get up because someone needed a beer. That was kinda fun. I got to talk to everyone at the party sitting on the cooler, kinda like being the tap-master at a keg party. I used to love that. Anyway, yeah, fun night.

Today is just chilling, playing catch up around the house. Hub did my brakes for me, so I will most likely end up in an accident this week. Ha ha. I'm hungry now. We had sex this morning, it was five minutes beginning to end. For both of us, fully satisfied. I cracked the fuck up over that. Five minutes.

Oh, and Hub went over to the neighbor's a bit ago and they were all gossiping and I guess our landlord told Dave that he is not renewing Nina and Jay's lease in September. He said something about a tiff the landlord had with Nina about her mom living there, but of course no details on that. Nina never said anything to me about it, but I haven't been seeing too terribly much of her, either.

OMG that situation with her mom is just a mess. That whole place is a mess. Friday, Nina went out and brought her friend Margaret home and they started drinking SoCo at like, 11? Pat did a few shots and then came over to my house when Nina and Margaret started getting very loud. You could hear them all over the neighborhood. Pat then told me that she was ready to just pack up and head to the shelter rather than live there anymore. Then, she headed back over there and no sooner was she back then they went at it. Yelling and screaming and I was at my house with FUCKING KIDS who couldn't quiet down enough so I could hear what they were yelling. Then later when Jay got home the shit hit the fan with Nina and him, too. Mess.

And in a few months they won't live there anymore and I'll have no more Nina stories.

OKay, so I'm done writing now. This is long enough.

I'm out.

Listening to: the fan

Currently reading: nothing

Thinking about: food dammit