"Every group has a Karen and she's ALWAYS a bag of douche".
So. The last few days have been fairly interesting. No Bo stories, though. =(
First off, I put in my application online for Fidelity Investments yesterday and got a call this morning. Basically the woman wanted to go over shifts and overtime and such. They have a contract coming up starting the last week of August for three months (I�d start out temping). I�d most likely be second shift, I�d be asked to do anywhere from 5 to 20 hours of overtime. I�m open to it. The money is the best I can expect to make out here, and with those kind of hours, it�s what we need right now. I�m going for it. Right now, she�s looking into my previous Fidelity experience back in 2000. I�ve been mulling over the hours and knowing that my kids will be home alone a lot, but the money. The money! I could possibly make the same as if not more than Hub.
And if I could get into that company full time, holy shit. What an awesome company to work for. They like value their employees and show them on a regular basis. Also? Lots of boys work there. Lots of boys. I prefer to work with boys over women. It�s just so much more fun. Keep the day interesting.
Anyway. We�ll see what�ll happen with that.
In other news, and it�s a biggie, my little baby Beavis has �become a man�. Yup, he did the deed. He got his little pee pee wet. With some chick, not a girlfriend or anything, who sounds like a little ho. Not exactly how I would have liked it to go down (I really thought he�d be the type to have a girlfriend for a while and then do it), but he was responsible and used a condom. And he told me! All those years of making sure that sex was a topic that he could talk to me about worked.
I�ve known the news since last Friday, so it�s had time to sink in. Had I written this Friday, it would have been shock and �OMG did he use a condom?!?� And all that kinda stuff.
It so happens that Beavis was with Shawn when this happened, and Shawn did the girl�s friend. Rhonda, Shawn�s mom and the douchebag friend in my group, who happened to get pregnant with her oldest when she was 15, has been coming down hard on Shawn. Can you say �hypocrite�? I was pissed at her at first about this, as she knew before me and never called to tell me anything about it. But then again, I�m talking about Rhonda. She�s a douche. I have to take it from where it comes.
And in an ironic twist of fate, Beavis is basically the same exact age I was when I lost my virginity , roughly a month after my 15th birthday. At least he had more guidance than I did, and lots and lots of talks about pregnancy and diseases, etc.
So, anyway. I guess I�m officially old enough to be a grandmother. Which really would not please me much. Doing the math here, my dad was 43 when I made him a grandpa, a whopping seven years older than me. That wasn�t very nice of me, I can say in retrospect.
I�ve been feeling a little better about the state of my life, but that�s only because I�ve been drinking beer like everyday. Not a good way to cope but at least it�s keeping me from killing myself.
However, I almost did last night when my grill wouldn�t light after an hour of trying, and then cleaning it, etc etc etc. New propane and sometimes that happens, but never that bad. I was just going to die if my grill broke. First my camera breaks during peak awesome bug season, then my grill? In the beginning of August? I don�t ask for much in life and it just seemed like God was giving me all kinds of ways to show me he hates me. But finally, once I was aggravated like you wouldn�t believe, Hub went and tried again and got it to work. Huge relief.
Also, no extra kids this week. Colin and Makayla are on vacation and Daisy is with her mom. I�m making it a mini-vacation and trying to do as much free stuff as possible. Yesterday afternoon we toured the Budweiser brewery in Merrimack, which is 100% free (unless you hit the gift shop, which I did, and spent a whopping $3 on a Mich Ultra key chain and a Mich Ultra magnet) and so fun. Free beer at the end! When I was a kid, it was unlimited, but that was back in the 70�s. MY dad used to get trashed there. Now you get two free samples in like a 10 oz glass. Still, free.
After the tour, we went down to see the Clydesdale horses at the stables. What gorgeous animals. Huge, too. And we got to see one peeing, with his gigantic two foot long penis. Yeah, Minnie and Mickey were giggling like Beavis & Butthead (the cartoon ones) and that in itself was hilarious. Everyone who happened to be in that stable at that moment knew exactly what they were laughing at.
Today, most likely we�ll just hit Robinson Pond.
I have to pick up Beavis at 2:00, he�s doing his community service at the Soup Kitchen in Nashua. He worked yesterday, too, and evidently, they made him WORK his ass off. As in, bringing boxes of supplies up three flights. I love it. He was pooped yesterday. I�m glad it�s nothing easy for him. And then he�s done, he can drop off his little letter at the courthouse and life can go on. Hopefully he won�t get in trouble again before January and then he has no record.
We have a groundhog living out front. We named it Karen after Dane Cook�s bit about �Karen the douchebag�. I figure it�s rodent and will sooner or later be a douchebag as rodents are known to do. I know, what if it�s a boy? Well then he has a girl�s name. It�s a rodent. It�s lucky we didn�t name it Here Have Some Lovely Strychnine With All The Birdseed You�ve Been Eating You Piece Of Shit Rodent.
I haven�t put down much seed on the ground for the bigger birds cuz to try to get rid of the rodents. It�s worked so far, so this morning I put some seed down and now the birds are going bananas. Especially the loudest ones, the Blue Jays and the Red-Winged Blackbirds. It�s a mob scene out there, and no sign of Karen the Douchebag. Or any other douchebags, specifically the fucking squirrels. I�m at war with those little bastards. Last week a gray squirrel cut open one of my patio chair cushions and was taking the material inside for it�s nest. Fucker. Since the cushion is ruined, I put hot pepper all over it to keep the little varmint from taking more, and that worked. Bastard fucking rodents.
I almost had my neighbor come over to shoot the little fucker, but I�m glad I didn�t. As much as I hate them, if he/she was taking material for a nest, then there must be babies. And God forbid I should deny myself more squirrels to battle. Besides, they were here before me.
Okay, I�m wrapping this up now. Have a lovely day.
Adios.