Oh! I'm! The! Cult! Of! Personality!
YAY! The spousal unit is gone for a change so I can write without him looking over my shoulder. And for a bonus, I�m in a good mood. Whoa. Two for one. Dollar days.
Maybe not so much with the �good� and maybe more with the �fucking loopy�. Oh well.
So, my neighbors, Nina and Jay & Company, have found a new place and will be moving next weekend. No more bitching about Nina? Bummer. I�m looking forward to the boys being gone (no more worries about my yard burning down, unless ELE keeps the pyromania fun going, which I kinda doubt). It�ll be nice not to have favor requests constantly, etc etc, but I�m a tad bummed out at the loss of my next door drinking partner. Small price to pay for peace of mind, I guess.
Yesterday I had the esteemed honor of applying for food stamps. What a fucking blast. Actually, the people working in the office were all quite cordial and nice, which was a surprise. And I was comforted to see our governor, John Lynch�s picture on the wall. He gives me the warm fuzzies. Anyway, the real fun was what was in the waiting room.
I was bummed at first, I knew I�d have to wait for a while, and I�d meant to bring a book to read but forgot it. (Oh yeah, I didn�t mention that I had no kids with me, they stayed with Hub). But in the end, it was no big deal because there was endless entertainment in that waiting room. Probably the best, besides the lesbian couple with the three humungous boys (not fat, just gigantic. People say my kids are big? Holy shit, this one kid just turned five--the butchy lesbian was very chatty--and was the size that Beavis was when he was seven. That�s huge, man), was a guy that had worked at the credit union briefly while I did. Let�s call him Dave, since that�s his name. Hee hee I crack my own ass up over the dumbest shit.
Dave was in collections when I first worked there. He was all kinds of fucked up from an accident he�d had and at the time walked with a cane. He was on all kinds of heavy painkillers including oxycontin. I knew this because Dave was one of those people who had no secrets. Anyway, Dave eventually got fired from the credit union for sleeping and drooling at his desk. It wasn�t so much the sleeping as the drooling. That was always the joke around there about him.
So, Dave showed up with his, from what I last heard, ex-wife. Back then, a whopping four and a half years ago, she was thin and kind of attractive. Somehow or another she turned into a chunky ugly BITCH. Holy cow. She was ordering Dave around, he went to the window to get an application, and she was barking at him, �Make sure you tell them, you�ve been unemployed for a month and you want emergency food stamps!!!�. I wanted to say, �Bitch, quit broadcasting his shit all over the place and go to the fucking window for him�. My goodness. You could tell, everyone in that place felt bad for poor Dave. He was like a battered man. He probably is. Good lord.
Just so you know, I was sitting in such a way that I could remain hidden from them. I didn�t want to be recognized and have to get into a conversation with them.
Anyway. I would just like to get a job, um, today? And not have to go on food stamps, but I�m worried about having four kids to have lunch money for. It gets pricey especially when two are teenagers who seem to think they can spend four or five bucks a day on school frickin� lunch.
Actually, one of those teenagers, Butthead, has been spending a great deal of time at his douchebag mother�s house the past few weeks. I say, she�s working him to go live with her. I know for a fact that she has been, but he keeps swearing up and down that he�s not going to live with her. I also know for a fact that the kid is a goddamned liar so what he says is crap to me. She knows that we are struggling financially and uses money to get her kids to stay with her. Showering them with shit that we can�t afford. That�s how she got Hilda three years ago.
Meanwhile, the bitch called Hub the other night as Hilda has had some trouble. They found some pills and a bottle of vodka under her bed. So, you know, she was all going to come live with us earlier this year, remember? But then Shauna started flashing her cash around and got Hilda her own phone line, and clothes, and all the shit that she wasn�t getting her before she wanted to come live with us. And there was just no way that *we* could take care of Hilda, yadda yadda yadda. But the second something happens that the douchebag can�t handle, she calls Hub. Because in the past, Hub would rip Hilda a new asshole and scare the crap out of her and she�d get back in line.
Ha, not this time. Hub just asked, �What are you going to do about it?�. He suggested counseling, but again, she squashed the idea. That bitch has something to hide, big time. So, he basically told her she was on her own with this one. No ass ripping from Hub for Hilda. No, he�d rather just let her know that he�s here for her whenever she needs him.
I�m sure it doesn�t help that Butthead has been there, and Shauna totally favors him over Hilda and it�s obvious to Hilda. So, while Hilda has been built in housekeeper and babysitter, Butthead has been laying on the couch, coming and going as he pleases, and not doing dishes or babysitting. I�m sure that makes Hilda feel great.
I really do feel for the girl. I get so pissed about her sometimes but what I get pissed the most about is her fucking mother. She�s a big bag of douche.
What the hell is up with Hub and the smoochies lately? It�s bugging me. I don�t want to kiss him, yet he always wants a kiss and a hug and an �I love you� and I�m just not there, man. I�m just keeping the status quo and not fighting or anything (what�s to fight about? I�m resolved. I don�t care). But I don�t want to be all schmoopy doopy when it�s a crock to me.
And the sex. You know, it�s not bad. It�s not often either. It happened this morning and I came up with the perfect analogy for our sex life. It�s like masturbating. You know, it�s satisfying and gets the job done, but there�s no passion. No excitement. Lonely and boring. That�s my sex life. Yay. I miss making out and fun stuff like that. I have no desire to make out with Hub. None.
Blah. I haven�t weighed into Weight Watchers in a while (not wanting to spend the $12), but I�m wearing my old jeans with no muffin tops still. That�s exciting. So, I guess I�m keeping my weight down.
Anyway, I suppose I�ll end this now and go fuck off some more online. Yeah, that�ll get me a job.