"I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round, you know I love to watch them roll...."
25 years ago today, John Lennon died. Amazing that every year I forget about Pearl Harbor Day until Beavis reminds me, but I know when the anniversary of John�s death is and when it�s coming up. (Yeah, my WWII veteran grandfather is probably rolling in his grave right now). I totally remember waking up that day, 25 years ago, when I was 10 freaking years old and hearing that John was dead. My parents had been huge Beatles� fans, so I�d been listening to them for years, always hoping for a reunion (they broke up the year I was born), and that morning, my little dreams were shattered.
I�ve been trying to picture the last 25 years if he had been here. What would he have done? Would he and Yoko still be together? What would his reaction have been to AIDS? How much more music would he have given us? In what direction would that have gone? What about a Beatles� reunion (maybe it could have been at LiveAid, them AND Led Zep reuniting on stage! Holy crap, that would have been awesome)?. Imagine his reaction to 9/11, or to either Iraq war. Or to grunge? I mean, go back 25 years and look at all that�s happened.
Anyway, back to me and my last entries.
Okay, so, yeah, I�m a big pushover. Really. I am. I�m the first to admit it. Although, I�d like to think of myself as more of a martyr. This is what my dad used to say about my grandmother when she was alive. She was a great woman and would do anything for the people she loved, even If she didn�t want to. She�d do it, and then bitch about it to high heaven. My dad would mutter after hearing her bitch, �yeah yeah yeah, I�m a fucking martyr�, pretending to be her. Hm. Who do I take after? My grandmother, mayhaps? Yeah.
I got soooooo much work done yesterday for the business. I managed to spend roughly $3300 that I think Hub had his eye on, but too bad! Insurance, taxes, and materials, all shit that needed to be paid for. He was kind of bummed, but too bad. We are expecting 5-10 inches of snow tomorrow, and he has an excellent plow route set up (not to mention being one of the contractors for the Town of Litchfield, that has an hourly rate of almost $50 an hour), so let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
I also spent some time working on a letter to Ned. I�m making a project over the course of a few days, because I have a lot to say. I let Beavis read it and he thought some of it sounded harsh, but that�s Beavis. He�s a softie, too. I feel like some of what I have to say should be harsh, It shouldn�t be sugar coated. And I�m not doing it to make him feel bad, but in an effort to reach out to him. Once I tweak it a little more, I�ll post it here, since I�ll be looking for feedback, people.
And Christmas shopping? WTF is that? I still haven�t started. Oh well! The good news is, none of Hub�s kids will be with us on Christmas morning (YAY! Finally a Christmas without that whine-bag Hilda!), so I only have three kids to make happy that morning. That�s my main concern with Christmas, that Christmas morning is the most important part of it for kids, and that�s where the bulk of their presents should be.
Beavis has given me his list, which he had to do research online for every item on his list. He kills me.
Hilda has asked for a Boost Mobile phone, which we�ll get her, but that�s it. I told Hub to let her know that, and also that she�ll be responsible for buying minutes, not us. Well, he didn�t tell her she�d be buying her own minutes. I was like, you need to make that clear to her. He said, �Well, she should know that� and I was like, �Do you remember who you�re talking about? Miss Woe is me? Miss False sense of entitlement? She should know that she shouldn�t go around telling people that her dad beats her up, but she does anyway�.
Is it wrong that I�m elated to not have to spend Christmas with her whiny ass? Because if it is, then I�m wrong! Because I�m pissing my pants with excitement over not having to hear what she didn�t get for Christmas and what everybody doesn�t do for her. Over and over and over.
I asked Butthead for a list the other day. He said, �I just made a big list for my mom so talk to her�. I was like, �Brent, I am NOT talking to your mom. Thanks anyway. You can get me a list or you can get a gift certificate�. Like she�s going to spend more than $20 for him on Christmas. Please.
All this hullaballo about Xmas. Everybody�s always stressed out about gift buying and shit. This isn�t how it�s supposed to be. I�m trying not to be so stressed. As long as my kids are covered and I get something for my dad, I should be all set. I wish Hub would get off this thing that he HAS to get me shit for Christmas. I don�t want anything, but he insists. Which sucks because honestly? I have no intention on buying him anything and I�ve told him that.
I�ve totally and completely fallen off any kind of caring about what I eat. I just eat whatever. My goal for this holiday season was just to maintain and not gain, but I�m not even following that. The other day Mickey and I went to BK and instead of getting a salad, I got a tender grill chicken sandwich. At least it wasn�t fried, even though the onion rings I got to go with it were. And the candy, dear God, the candy. It�s everywhere. And me, here, thinking I�m Suzy Fucking Homemaker with the baking. The baking! Yesterday I made lemon bars, and popped a bunch of popcorn at the same time. Yeah, I put a dent in both.
My clothes still fit, but not the same way. �Muffin Tops� would describe me. Fortunately, I cover that shit up with my old Memere sweaters. I�ve had my breakfast, but as I sit here, I�m still hungry. And chicken wings would really hit the spot. Mmmmm. Fortunately, I have no chicken wings here. I�ll have to settle on soup or something. Or lemon bars.
Anyway, that�s all I�ve got for now. Look for the possible posting of my retarded brother�s rough draft letter later.
Ciao!!!